New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

[Anonymous]

I’d like to add a detail that is missing above.

When a child is 15-18, they crave acknowledgement and mentorship from adults who are not their parents. This does not diminish the parent as the primary guide in life. It add a richness that will not threaten a secure parent.

Some kids at home will float through this period. Some will find a bit more connection. And if your child lands in a boarding school that is the right fit (each one truly has a unique feel), they will be blessed with a team of educators, coaches, directors and counselors who know them deeply and see them daily.

Our child is being so beautifully mentored in both his academics and his extracurricular pursuits. We have a very close relationship with DC, but I know on a deep level that I could not provide the breadth of perspective, motivation and experience that they receive at school from a half dozen adults regularly. And those are just the close ones. The deep talent bench is not just on the sport team. It is the faculty and staff bench that has knocked us out. And only in a residential setting can these relationships form as they do.

I can provide unconditional love and continue to weigh in often. But guess what? I don’t have to direct anymore because the choices DC is making are awesome. And very self directed. The natural friction that we all feel with emerging adolescents is fading fast. Because we are not trying to control too tightly, DC is genuinely relieved and feels seen and empowered. They feel respected and their confidence is on a steady growth trajectory as a result. I’m sure there will be missteps, as there would have been at home. No child is perfect. Nor am I. But we are all now pointing in the same direction with an ambitious shared goal. And I am damn glad to have the extraordinary adults at the GLADCHEMMS school on our team.

It makes sense to me that some people cannot imagine making this choice. Just as there are some educational and life choices I cannot imagine making. But the personal vitriol and anger about the sector (which is uniquely DCUM—maybe all need to get out more?) tells me that perhaps some intense parenting personalities might benefit in their own family relationships if they lighten up on judgment. Each of us wants the very best for our kids. And I genuinely wish you the best in defining that for yours.