New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

[Anonymous]

My kid's applying to Choate, Andover, St. Paul's, and Deerfield along with the local DMV privates. Can anyone say if the New England schools are better?

[Anonymous]

Better than what? Boarding schools are different beasts. Obviously, most parents prefer to have their kids around for high school. Circumstances are sometimes the case that that is impossible, in which case boardings schools are the next best thing. Some families are multigenerational boarding families and extol the values. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Outcomes are comparable to the top independent schools in DC, if that's a driver.

[Anonymous]

Hasn’t this already been discussed ad nauseam on here? Use the search.

[Anonymous]

Of course they are better for connections and hooks.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t necessarily help with college admissions, but absolutely can help with connections in the work place.

[Anonymous]

In some ways, they are starting to become cheaper.

[Anonymous]

DD went to boarding school. I would argue that the academics are similar to what's offered at the rigorous DMV privates. It's the other aspects of BS that makes these schools fantastic. It's more like supported college--DD learned independence, self advocacy, time management, conflict resolution, managing disappointment, and roommate squabbles.

After 4 years of BS, college is a non issue. She already did the freshman 15. She has become the default RA on her floor. She was an RA at BS and she just naturally carried it over to college. She plans small gatherings, notices when people are not being included or are mopey, mediates between roommates when people come to her, and has been able to really excel in the academics because 1) she's not learning to live on her own and 2) she was academically prepared.

[Anonymous]

I went to a fancy New England boarding school followed by HYP around 2010. I'm not sure why I remember this, but I distinctly remember having two girls in my tiny freshman writing seminar from DC all-girls schools -- I believe it was Holton and NCS but it could have been Visitation or Stoneridge. We did a lot of peer review/editing that semester, and I could not BELIEVE how sophisticated and flawless their writing was. I still remember who exactly it was and neither of them ended up being an English/history major. But their writing was so, so far beyond what had been expected of me in high school, and I had always considered myself a strong writer (800 SATs/SAT II, literary magazine, high English grades). Maybe this was a one-off, but since then I've always thought the writing instruction was stronger around here than at boarding school.

[Anonymous]

For our family, one of the boarding schools you mention has been amazing. Our oldest attended a day school, and it was very good. But the boarding school has been sooo much better. Why? Depends on the kid. For us:

There is more time in the day when the commute to school, sport and socialization is eliminated. So kid goes deeper into subjects, sport/gym/training, and in person social opportunities.

There is much better personal regulation around phones. The school does not welcome them at all during the school day, outside the dorm, and never in the dining hall. This is not a big deal when everyone else is doing the same. They don’t live and die by the phone.

Grades mix better when they live together. Freshman look up to the senior proctors who live with them in the dorm. They level up pretty quickly. And holy moly what a mix of kids in the class. Some seriously intriguing personal stories. Diverse by many metrics.

Dorm life: they have so much fun! This is the reason my kid would give you. Glad it is true. The last kid at home can be lonely without siblings. Not so in a dorm. YMMV depending on how social they like to be. Mine needs downtime and takes it when needed.

Resources… the schools you list spend about $125-30k per student, per year. Effectively, even the wealthiest are receiving $40k+ financial aid. The financial aid office has deep pockets. We are upper middle class ($400k HHI) and pay half of next year’s 80k tuition. So for $39k (fudging numbers slightly for privacy), we cover all tuition, sport at the most elite level, food for 34 weeks per year, college counseling (we are not the type to hire a consultant and don’t think anyone should have to if your kid is doing it right), and a robust level of student programming both academically and socially.

The typical class is 1:8 up to 1:14 depending on subject. Teachers are exceptional. Though we have heard of one or two not great ones, our kid has not had that experience.

People talk about the networking but our kid is not that transactional and probably won’t think to leverage it. Besties this year are a 100% FA foreign kid and an American household name kid. Polar opposites of opportunity. They don’t care. They do have sport in common.

That said, kid has fielded a few sweet invites to visit friends in other places. He is now a very curious traveler and appreciates a local host.

Oddly, we feel closer with our kid bc there is always so much for us to report to each other. We chat/text frequently and also visit for a dinner once each month. I don’t think I could have let go like this with kid #1. They paved the way for us to give more freedom to #2. We also rarely saw #1 because they were so busy driving to school/sport/life. It’s not like the kids at home are sitting around gazing into mom’s eyes all day long.

Summers will be at home with us (no pay to play college stuff) and that was one of our conditions to saying yes. Just get a good job and spend time with your family.

I hope you have a choice on March 10. If it is the right thing for the child and family both, it is transformative.

As for the DCUM pile on heading my way, save your breath. I was you. I changed my mind. And my thriving kid is thrilled that I did!

[Anonymous]

Adding: Have you SEEN the facilities?

[Anonymous]

I went to Andover. It is essentially like a liberal arts college for high school students.

The resources are outstanding. The course catalog is outstanding.

It is extremely intense, though. Unless your kid is very motivated to go to one of those schools, I would be hesitant about making that choice.

I adored it, but I chose to apply and desperately wanted to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Andover. It is essentially like a liberal arts college for high school students.

The resources are outstanding. The course catalog is outstanding.

It is extremely intense, though. Unless your kid is very motivated to go to one of those schools, I would be hesitant about making that choice.

I adored it, but I chose to apply and desperately wanted to go.

I am the PP who changed their mind and sent kid #2.

This poster is 100% correct. If the charge is led by the student, the experience is as excellent as the outcome. It is indeed different story if the parents are pushing for it.

Excellent addition to the conversation.

If your kid is curious but unsure, you can always attend day school and give the option of applying for 10th instead. Nothing wrong with buying time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For our family, one of the boarding schools you mention has been amazing. Our oldest attended a day school, and it was very good. But the boarding school has been sooo much better. Why? Depends on the kid. For us:

There is more time in the day when the commute to school, sport and socialization is eliminated. So kid goes deeper into subjects, sport/gym/training, and in person social opportunities.

There is much better personal regulation around phones. The school does not welcome them at all during the school day, outside the dorm, and never in the dining hall. This is not a big deal when everyone else is doing the same. They don’t live and die by the phone.

Grades mix better when they live together. Freshman look up to the senior proctors who live with them in the dorm. They level up pretty quickly. And holy moly what a mix of kids in the class. Some seriously intriguing personal stories. Diverse by many metrics.

Dorm life: they have so much fun! This is the reason my kid would give you. Glad it is true. The last kid at home can be lonely without siblings. Not so in a dorm. YMMV depending on how social they like to be. Mine needs downtime and takes it when needed.

Resources… the schools you list spend about $125-30k per student, per year. Effectively, even the wealthiest are receiving $40k+ financial aid. The financial aid office has deep pockets. We are upper middle class ($400k HHI) and pay half of next year’s 80k tuition. So for $39k (fudging numbers slightly for privacy), we cover all tuition, sport at the most elite level, food for 34 weeks per year, college counseling (we are not the type to hire a consultant and don’t think anyone should have to if your kid is doing it right), and a robust level of student programming both academically and socially.

The typical class is 1:8 up to 1:14 depending on subject. Teachers are exceptional. Though we have heard of one or two not great ones, our kid has not had that experience.

People talk about the networking but our kid is not that transactional and probably won’t think to leverage it. Besties this year are a 100% FA foreign kid and an American household name kid. Polar opposites of opportunity. They don’t care. They do have sport in common.

That said, kid has fielded a few sweet invites to visit friends in other places. He is now a very curious traveler and appreciates a local host.

Oddly, we feel closer with our kid bc there is always so much for us to report to each other. We chat/text frequently and also visit for a dinner once each month. I don’t think I could have let go like this with kid #1. They paved the way for us to give more freedom to #2. We also rarely saw #1 because they were so busy driving to school/sport/life. It’s not like the kids at home are sitting around gazing into mom’s eyes all day long.

Summers will be at home with us (no pay to play college stuff) and that was one of our conditions to saying yes. Just get a good job and spend time with your family.

I hope you have a choice on March 10. If it is the right thing for the child and family both, it is transformative.

As for the DCUM pile on heading my way, save your breath. I was you. I changed my mind. And my thriving kid is thrilled that I did!

NP here - thanks for such an insightful post. We went to boarding school and loved our experience and hope to give it to our children. They've grown up knowing that it is a possibility for them and our eldest is on board with going in a few years. We would prefer to be within a 2 hour drive from DC so are looking at schools in Delaware, PA, MD, and Virginia. Curious if you looked at any schools in this area and if so, ant that you particularly liked and why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a fancy New England boarding school followed by HYP around 2010. I'm not sure why I remember this, but I distinctly remember having two girls in my tiny freshman writing seminar from DC all-girls schools -- I believe it was Holton and NCS but it could have been Visitation or Stoneridge. We did a lot of peer review/editing that semester, and I could not BELIEVE how sophisticated and flawless their writing was. I still remember who exactly it was and neither of them ended up being an English/history major. But their writing was so, so far beyond what had been expected of me in high school, and I had always considered myself a strong writer (800 SATs/SAT II, literary magazine, high English grades). Maybe this was a one-off, but since then I've always thought the writing instruction was stronger around here than at boarding school.

Probably NCS - NCS is known for this.