New England Boarding Schools vs DMV?

[Anonymous]

To 8:23
Look at st andrews in middletown Delaware. Ds went there. Fantastic in all the ways mentioned in this thread. Two out of my three kids did boarding and both had great ( and better in many ways) experience than my one who went to a so-called big three here in dc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For our family, one of the boarding schools you mention has been amazing. Our oldest attended a day school, and it was very good. But the boarding school has been sooo much better. Why? Depends on the kid. For us:

There is more time in the day when the commute to school, sport and socialization is eliminated. So kid goes deeper into subjects, sport/gym/training, and in person social opportunities.

There is much better personal regulation around phones. The school does not welcome them at all during the school day, outside the dorm, and never in the dining hall. This is not a big deal when everyone else is doing the same. They don’t live and die by the phone.

Grades mix better when they live together. Freshman look up to the senior proctors who live with them in the dorm. They level up pretty quickly. And holy moly what a mix of kids in the class. Some seriously intriguing personal stories. Diverse by many metrics.

Dorm life: they have so much fun! This is the reason my kid would give you. Glad it is true. The last kid at home can be lonely without siblings. Not so in a dorm. YMMV depending on how social they like to be. Mine needs downtime and takes it when needed.

Resources… the schools you list spend about $125-30k per student, per year. Effectively, even the wealthiest are receiving $40k+ financial aid. The financial aid office has deep pockets. We are upper middle class ($400k HHI) and pay half of next year’s 80k tuition. So for $39k (fudging numbers slightly for privacy), we cover all tuition, sport at the most elite level, food for 34 weeks per year, college counseling (we are not the type to hire a consultant and don’t think anyone should have to if your kid is doing it right), and a robust level of student programming both academically and socially.

The typical class is 1:8 up to 1:14 depending on subject. Teachers are exceptional. Though we have heard of one or two not great ones, our kid has not had that experience.

People talk about the networking but our kid is not that transactional and probably won’t think to leverage it. Besties this year are a 100% FA foreign kid and an American household name kid. Polar opposites of opportunity. They don’t care. They do have sport in common.

That said, kid has fielded a few sweet invites to visit friends in other places. He is now a very curious traveler and appreciates a local host.

Oddly, we feel closer with our kid bc there is always so much for us to report to each other. We chat/text frequently and also visit for a dinner once each month. I don’t think I could have let go like this with kid #1. They paved the way for us to give more freedom to #2. We also rarely saw #1 because they were so busy driving to school/sport/life. It’s not like the kids at home are sitting around gazing into mom’s eyes all day long.

Summers will be at home with us (no pay to play college stuff) and that was one of our conditions to saying yes. Just get a good job and spend time with your family.

I hope you have a choice on March 10. If it is the right thing for the child and family both, it is transformative.

As for the DCUM pile on heading my way, save your breath. I was you. I changed my mind. And my thriving kid is thrilled that I did!

NP here - thanks for such an insightful post. We went to boarding school and loved our experience and hope to give it to our children. They've grown up knowing that it is a possibility for them and our eldest is on board with going in a few years. We would prefer to be within a 2 hour drive from DC so are looking at schools in Delaware, PA, MD, and Virginia. Curious if you looked at any schools in this area and if so, ant that you particularly liked and why?

I’m the one you asked. We loved St Andrew’s! It is very nurturing and challenging at the same time, and was kid’s very close second choice. We would have also been thrilled if kid had gone there.

It, like St. Paul’s, does not have day students. This creates a tight community like no other. Interestingly, Deerfield is about to build one more dorm, and will become 100% boarding as soon as the dorm is built. I think this feature is more important than being 2 hours away. St. Andrew’s is the only school that is both close to DC and has 100% of students on campus.

I would encourage touring one or two of the New England schools before ruing anything out. St. Paul’s and Deerfield would be my picks. It is too important a choice not do solid research, even if after doing you stick with your original parameters. Good luck with your search.

[Anonymous]

Another happy boarding school alum here. I think boarding school is a unique experience so it is hard to compare. I would love for DC to have that experience if it was the right fit for them. As a previous poster mentioned, I also think there is a better chance for financial aid if you end up at a top boarding school because they all have university level endowments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another happy boarding school alum here. I think boarding school is a unique experience so it is hard to compare. I would love for DC to have that experience if it was the right fit for them. As a previous poster mentioned, I also think there is a better chance for financial aid if you end up at a top boarding school because they all have university level endowments.

Andover and Exeter are need-blind and meet 100% of demonstrated financial aid.

About 50% of students are on financial aid at each school.

Of course, they have endowments of $1.5 billion, so I would hope they’d be generous!

[Anonymous]

St. Andrews is on our list. Our eldest will be in 7th grade next year. I'm hoping we can do a tour of their campus this spring as they only allow 8th graders to tour in the fall.

Episcopal is the other 100% boarding school in this area. I'm not set on the fact that the school has to be 100% boarding though.

[Anonymous]

George School in PA.

[Anonymous]

It’s a well known fact that the Head of Exeter sent his boys to St. Albans. Maybe ten years ago or something like that. They graduated and then did a PG year at Exeter.
Not sure what this means other than the fact that rigor of STA is similar to that of any top NE boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a well known fact that the Head of Exeter sent his boys to St. Albans. Maybe ten years ago or something like that. They graduated and then did a PG year at Exeter.
Not sure what this means other than the fact that rigor of STA is similar to that of any top NE boarding school.

There are a million reasons he could’ve made that decision.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to attend a school where my parent was the Head of School. For the sake of my own social life.

I also don’t think you realize that needing a PG year is not something to brag about? It typically means your high school fell short of preparing you for college, or, more typically, you are an athlete who needs an additional year of development because you were not recruited as a senior.

I don’t have a relationship with either of those two schools. But I find your assertion perplexing if intended as a flex.

[Anonymous]

We send our kids to Andover and are very happy with the quality of the education and also the fantastic financial aid. It’s cheaper than the big 3 of local DC schools and kids truly love their school.

[Anonymous]

The head of Exeter whose boys went to St Albans was not the head of Exeter when his kids were high school age. He was a practicing lawyer who lived here in DC. (Full disclosure I don’t know whether his kids went tint Albans or not- but I do know his kids were full grown adults by the time he became the principal)

[Anonymous]

It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.

This is correct. I would only send my kid to boarding school if the cost was lower than their local private. A lot of parents feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

My son went to Exeter and his connections with the business world are unreal. Most importantly, our family made lifelong friends people who have as many, if not more, connections than we have. Win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s upside down world…but I wonder if boarding schools become more popular because they are net cheaper for many families compared to local day schools.

Deerfield said that no family will pay more than 10% AGI…in theory that means a family earning $500k will only pay $50k to attend Deerfield vs $60k+ in the DMV and $70k+ in NYC.

Gets significantly cheaper if your kid plays a travel sport like hockey since that’s included in the Deerfield price.

This is a good point. Compared to NYC privates that are about 70k, Deerfield is 74k and that includes room & board and access to elite sports teams for certain sports (hockey, lacrosse, etc.). I just looked it up and families making over 150k pay only 10% of income per child. That’s amazing financial aid!