Just turned 8 and still has "accidents"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid did this too. No medical cause we could find. It stopped when she wanted it to stop, which was around 8.5.

I set a rule that if she had an accident, she had to shower immediately. Not as a punishment but as a consequence because no one wants to smell like pee. That annoyed her enough to incentivize stopping. Took about 6 months though. Also, I suspect she just matured socially enough to realize that if she did this at school - and she used to - she'd be very embarrassed. That is probably what finally did it, but I didn't ask and she didn't say.

Thats a great idea. I am going to try that. I am hoping it wont take 6 months because I hate having to wash her wet clothes. Thats what I am thinking. She doesnt want her friends to find out if she wet herself in front of them.

PP and I would add that I was pretty sure it wasn't physical because she did not have many night accidents. It did happen sometimes if she ate a lot of salty food (like pizza) and thus drank a lot of water, but making her pee twice within an hour of bedtime took care of it. So we were sure the daytime accidents were behavioral. Additionally, she was (and still is, at 9) afraid of automatic flush toilets in public restrooms. So that's fun. It's improving but she still wants me to come into the stall with her. I figure that will stop at some point.

Anyway, yeah, I didn't want to handle wet stuff either, and fortunately our washing machine is upstairs, so my rule was that she had to put her wet stuff in the washing machine herself. And then take a fast shower or - on the occasions there really wasn't time for a shower - wipe herself down with a wet paper towel.

It gradually improved and then stopped altogether. As far as I know she has not had any daytime accidents in 6 months, and only one at night, when I forgot to have her use the bathroom and she wasn't paying attention either.

Finally, I remember having night time accidents myself as late as 7 or 8, and not wanting to sleep at friends' houses because of them. I also have a vague memory of a daytime accident somewhere in the same range where I just didn't make it to the toilet in time. I was hugely embarrassed but my mom was nice about it. So my daughter having similar issues isn't really that surprising, although it has been challenging.

[Anonymous]

Any more success? Is it only once in a while or still happening every night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any more success? Is it only once in a while or still happening every night?

OP: Its pretty much every night. Especially in the summer where her fluid intake is more than usual. She plays soccer and basketball so she is constantly running.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in an abusive household and I can say without a doubt that you are stressing her out. You have made the most basic thing about being a human (going to the bathroom) into a zero-sum game. Go, or I punish you. I can completely understand why she would be having "accidents". In the areas I was monitored to within an inch of my life I also made mistakes. Funny how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an abusive household and I can say without a doubt that you are stressing her out. You have made the most basic thing about being a human (going to the bathroom) into a zero-sum game. Go, or I punish you. I can completely understand why she would be having "accidents". In the areas I was monitored to within an inch of my life I also made mistakes. Funny how that works.

I agree with this. Also, in the earlier post where OP says “I hate washing her wet clothes”.. like, really? “Hate”? This poor child.