Jealous he’s dating around even though we aren’t exclusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So that's why he's dating other women. He wants to F and you aren't putting out. He sounds like a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So you're just friends without benefits? He is going to move on.

I dont think you know what that means.

Dp, I think it's a perfect description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if he was fully divorced and living alone, and even if you two agreed you’re not ready to be exclusive yet…. It’s completely inappropriate for him to tell you he has a date planned with another woman. As in, completely poor taste to tell you that. It doesn’t get any poorer in taste than that.

You’re going to be meeting a lot of men in this new chapter of your life. Decide right now that you’re only willing to date those that conduct themselves with class and respect for the women they’re seeing.

+1 big red flag that he has such poor taste

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So you're just friends without benefits? He is going to move on.

I dont think you know what that means.

Dp, I think it's a perfect description.

UHm, no it's not. Friends with benefits means something very specific and it very much involves sleeping together. Please stop.

[Anonymous]

You are both married?
You are married and dating and are upset he also dates other people?
Somebody who wants to date while married already isn't necessarily a good hit for exclusive ffs. You either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So you're just friends without benefits? He is going to move on.

I dont think you know what that means.

Dp, I think it's a perfect description.

UHm, no it's not. Friends with benefits means something very specific and it very much involves sleeping together. Please stop.

But they're NOT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So you're just friends without benefits? He is going to move on.

I dont think you know what that means.

Dp, I think it's a perfect description.

UHm, no it's not. Friends with benefits means something very specific and it very much involves sleeping together. Please stop.

Which is why PP said "friends WITHOUT benefits"

[Anonymous]

OP, what proof do you have that he’s actually living in basement? Presumably, you could invite him to your place while any kids of yours are at the Ex’s. That would be a way to prove to him that you’re separated. From what I can tell, all you have from him is his word. Lots of charismatic creeps try to play this game. I’m not saying he’s one of those creeps, but you need something solid. That could be an email communication between him and his divorce lawyer. A bill for a divorce lawyer. Something in writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So that's why he's dating other women. He wants to F and you aren't putting out. He sounds like a loser.

I don’t think anyone normal will talk about his dates.He probably told you about his “date” to convince you to sleep with him sooner rather than later since according to him he has other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are both coming out of long and unhappy marriages and we agreed that we have an instant and immediate strong connection. It was me who said we shouldn’t be so serious so quickly as we need time to find ourselves and see what’s out there. And he agreed. So it’s not like he is playing me. I guess I’m surprised I feel so jealous! We are also each still married so it’s not like we can date and be boyfriend/girlfriend!

If you can sleep together, you can be bf/gf. You sound....very dim and with low self esteem.

OP here. We are NOT sleeping together.

So you're just friends without benefits? He is going to move on.

I dont think you know what that means.

Dp, I think it's a perfect description.

UHm, no it's not. Friends with benefits means something very specific and it very much involves sleeping together. Please stop.

Wow, try actually reading the post before being a b*^ch next time. Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

Why are both dating if you're not divorced?

[Anonymous]

Probably a lot of divorcing or divorced couples are living in the same house nowadays, with prices and rents being what they are.

[Anonymous]

Does he have kids in the house he’s sharing with his ex? Why are you getting involved in this?

[Anonymous]

I have known a number of divorcing people who lives under the same roof as their spouses. I absolutely believe them when they say there is no sex happening under that roof.

[Anonymous]

You are experiencing a standard feature of dating. Almost everybody goes on dates with more than one person at a time. Sometimes you feel jealous. Eventually you can become exclusive. Most people become exclusive after they've had sex or at least some sexual encounters.

Some people stay non-exclusive for a long period but still feel jealous when their non-exclusive partner dates someone else too. This isn't about justice or fairness. It's about emotion. It happens. This kind of jealousy can be a big part of non-exclusive relationships. That's one reason why many people who try ENM switch back to monogamy.