Did your kid show any concern for you re:upcoming storm

[Anonymous]

No and my parents did not check in on me? It’s one day of snow and we are all adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am retired, and live alone hours from her—but mine has not. Plus, she got annoyed that I was suggesting preparation plans to help her (re: car issues she is dealing with).

She does not “get” how nice it is to have someone looking out for your welfare.

(Trust me, as someone who feels very much on my own.)

Oh please. We have local and non local adult DC's. Preparation plans for me/us included non perishable food, flashlights etc, Pre storm bought extra stuff for local adult DCs/spouse/GC that was at a supermarket near me but sold out elsewhere. Asked us about getting us stuff also on their shopping expedition.

I hire services for pro plowing and any heavy shoveling. Signed contract with pro company. We're retired and live hours away from some retired relatives. Some are too cheap to hire plowers/shovelers pre weather event, They have sidewalks that require clearing and 1 is on a large corner lot. One cheap expects neighbors to clear.

So it sounds like you live under very different circumstances than OP, but you feel qualified to judge her. And your senior relatives. Got it.

That PP sounds like they judge their relatives too! I know the type well unfortunately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No and my parents did not check in on me? It’s one day of snow and we are all adults.

My parents checked in on me, and so did my brother, and all of them live in California. It’s just normal to check in on some one you care about??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am retired, and live alone hours from her—but mine has not. Plus, she got annoyed that I was suggesting preparation plans to help her (re: car issues she is dealing with).

She does not “get” how nice it is to have someone looking out for your welfare.

(Trust me, as someone who feels very much on my own.)

I’m disappointed in the unkind comments. Sometimes children don’t grow up holding up the mirror to reflect back how they were parented. This likely has nothing to do with you. It may be simply differences in expectations, unresolved trauma that had nothing to do with you and you made not have been made aware of it. Perhaps she’s trying to separate herself as a way to develop her independence and self actualization. There are myriad of reasons this could be.

Sometimes children are parented badly and the parents can never admit their fault in things they did wrong in the upbringing- so the mirror reflecting back of not calling at every snow forecast is getting exactly what you gave. So many retired individuals think they should be treated with the red carpet as if it is owed to them for how wonderful they were as (mostly absent and abusive) parents. The not checking in on an impending day of snow is the same as parents and MILs complaining kids don’t come for holidays and don’t want their crappy advice on parenting.

If you don’t regularly talk to your kids and the storm has not come up in normal conversation then you have done something wrong. My parents live out west and we talk and text regularly. I already know how they are preparing and they know about my plans already. No need for a special call.

[Anonymous]

My elderly neighbors moved in for the week (or 2) in their son's home. I think it is so smart.

[Anonymous]

My siblings and mom, living in another country, called us several times and we facetimed them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all checked in on each other before. And we’ve continued checking in each day. Everyone has food, power, and the pipes are not frozen.

Are you nearby? If not what do you do if one of those things is problematic?

[Anonymous]

I would never expect this. Are you elderly or disabled? My dad lives alone at 92 and my brother and I made sure he wasn't alone during the storm . . . so at 57 I'm still the one looking out for other people's welfare. That being said, my DCs were worried about their grandfather.

[Anonymous]

If you are living alone you need to develop a network of paid people you can call for snow removal, burst pipes, car repairs, rides, deliveries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No and my parents did not check in on me? It’s one day of snow and we are all adults.

My parents checked in on me, and so did my brother, and all of them live in California. It’s just normal to check in on some one you care about??

👏🏼👏🏼

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I just wanted to check in on you. Everything good?

[Anonymous]

I am a capable adult, the only concern I need is someone sending me some money or actually doing something useful. Not some advice

[Anonymous]

I was pleasantly surprised when my daughter called and asked if I wanted to spend the snow storm with her and her family. We live about 40 minutes apart. I said I'd love to.

Then my SIL started texting me lots of things to bring, and I thought he was passive-aggressively asking me not to come, so I texted that I decided to stay home.

Then both of them sent lots of texts to come. So I went, and we've had a good time. I babysat their son because they had to work remotely and his school was closed. I've made mistakes babysitting, which they corrected and I learned from. Writing this, I've begun to wonder if they knew they needed a babysitter. S***!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am retired, and live alone hours from her—but mine has not. Plus, she got annoyed that I was suggesting preparation plans to help her (re: car issues she is dealing with).

She does not “get” how nice it is to have someone looking out for your welfare.

(Trust me, as someone who feels very much on my own.)

I’m disappointed in the unkind comments. Sometimes children don’t grow up holding up the mirror to reflect back how they were parented. This likely has nothing to do with you. It may be simply differences in expectations, unresolved trauma that had nothing to do with you and you made not have been made aware of it. Perhaps she’s trying to separate herself as a way to develop her independence and self actualization. There are myriad of reasons this could be.

Sometimes children are parented badly and the parents can never admit their fault in things they did wrong in the upbringing- so the mirror reflecting back of not calling at every snow forecast is getting exactly what you gave. So many retired individuals think they should be treated with the red carpet as if it is owed to them for how wonderful they were as (mostly absent and abusive) parents. The not checking in on an impending day of snow is the same as parents and MILs complaining kids don’t come for holidays and don’t want their crappy advice on parenting.

If you don’t regularly talk to your kids and the storm has not come up in normal conversation then you have done something wrong. My parents live out west and we talk and text regularly. I already know how they are preparing and they know about my plans already. No need for a special call.

Probably, but if it worked out for everyone, who cares? The grandparents I know who are closest to their kids and grandkids provide childcare or babysitting at least some of the time.

[Anonymous]

^^^sorry I replied to the wrong post...