Husband has Sickle Cell gene and didn't tell me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH decided to wait to tell me that he is a carrier of the Sickle Cell gene until AFTER we found out that I'm pregnant (when he has apparently been aware of this since childhood). I am devastated and have been floored since he told me. There is a possibility that the gene could be passed onto our child. Our child won't have full-blown Sickle Cell as both parents have to carry the gene for that to happen, but the point is that I do not want my child to inherit an abnormal gene. I have been doing research and found a case of a child that passed away from complications due to simply having 1 Sickle Cell gene. (https://www.ktnv.com/13-investigates/she-lost-her-baby-then-her-freedom-las-vegas-mother-wrongfully-accused-in-shaken-baby-syndrome-case)

In addition, I'm angry that he withheld this information from me when we were trying to conceive. I feel duped. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Get over yourself!! Your kid won’t be sick with sickle cell and it sounds like you want to discriminate. Your husband probably only thought about it after he was going to have kids. I carry a similar blood abnormality that never bothers me. I only thought about it when I was having a baby. My kids don’t carry the gene. Just get the kid tested at birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to make of this. It's standard to offer genetic testing for recessive genes as part of preconception counseling. My thought is that, if this were something you were really concerned about, you would have gotten the genetic testing. It's concerning that your husband didn't tell you beforehand. But many people are carriers for genes without knowing it, and so if it were really a problem for you, I would have thought you would have opted for the screening.

Isn't it also the case that sickle cell gene confers some benefits, like resistance to malaria?

+1
All this!

[Anonymous]

Divorce would be on the table for me. I didn’t marry someone for them to lie by omission (especially about something as serious as our child’s health).

Imagine if someone knowingly refrained from telling you that they had an STD before you married them.

[Anonymous]

Shocked by these responses.
This is a serious big deal. Just like it would be to hide infertility. This might not be a big deal for some but is for OP so one should be dismissing her concerns.

[Anonymous]

Everybody has some kind of negative gene.

Schizophrenia and bipolar are dominant in my family. Would you prefer that?

[Anonymous]

My husband and his entire family forgot that he carries the trait. We are both black. All of our kids have the trait. He probably didn’t mention it because it’s pretty much a non-issue if you are not black.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce would be on the table for me. I didn’t marry someone for them to lie by omission (especially about something as serious as our child’s health).

Imagine if someone knowingly refrained from telling you that they had an STD before you married them.

Being a carrier of a recessive gene is nothing at all like having an STD that can be passed on to you. That’s a terrible analogy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce would be on the table for me. I didn’t marry someone for them to lie by omission (especially about something as serious as our child’s health).

Imagine if someone knowingly refrained from telling you that they had an STD before you married them.

Being a carrier of a recessive gene is nothing at all like having an STD that can be passed on to you. That’s a terrible analogy.

I wasn’t intending to compare the severity of the two. I was intending to highlight how devastating it can feel when your spouse knowingly lies by omission. Only op can determine how serious this is to her.

[Anonymous]

It means your children might have enhanced resistance to malaria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce would be on the table for me. I didn’t marry someone for them to lie by omission (especially about something as serious as our child’s health).

Imagine if someone knowingly refrained from telling you that they had an STD before you married them.

Being a carrier of a recessive gene is nothing at all like having an STD that can be passed on to you. That’s a terrible analogy.

I wasn’t intending to compare the severity of the two. I was intending to highlight how devastating it can feel when your spouse knowingly lies by omission. Only op can determine how serious this is to her.

It only means that his child might have the same recessive gene he does. Its presence hasn’t impacted his life at all. This is not the problem op is trying to turn it into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means your children might have enhanced resistance to malaria.

If they don't live in or travel to malaria infested areas, then that benefit would not be particularly useful. Sickle cell trait poses more of a risk than a protection to people who live outside of malaria infested areas. This is why the gene was only selected for in people whose ancestors were from regions where malaria is prevalent.

[Anonymous]

Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

[Anonymous]

I am a carrier of the trait, as was my mom. My mom told me I was negative so I was totally surprised when I came up positive during my pregnancy labs. This is not a big deal and not worth you getting an amniocentesis over. Your child has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. One of my kids is, the other isn't. We need to stay well hydrated and listen to our bodies, that is all. Please calm down. And not only black people can have it. This is misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a carrier of the trait, as was my mom. My mom told me I was negative so I was totally surprised when I came up positive during my pregnancy labs. This is not a big deal and not worth you getting an amniocentesis over. Your child has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. One of my kids is, the other isn't. We need to stay well hydrated and listen to our bodies, that is all. Please calm down. And not only black people can have it. This is misinformation.

Not everyone that has sickle cell trait is black, but everyone that has sickle cell trait has a black ancestor. They traced the origin of the gene back to one child that lived in Africa 7,300 years ago.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-43373247

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/hidden-black-ancestry-linked-to-rise-in-sickle-cell-blood-disorder-738008.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a carrier of the trait, as was my mom. My mom told me I was negative so I was totally surprised when I came up positive during my pregnancy labs. This is not a big deal and not worth you getting an amniocentesis over. Your child has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. One of my kids is, the other isn't. We need to stay well hydrated and listen to our bodies, that is all. Please calm down. And not only black people can have it. This is misinformation.

Not everyone that has sickle cell trait is black, but everyone that has sickle cell trait has a black ancestor. They traced the origin of the gene back to one child that lived in Africa 7,300 years ago.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-43373247

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/hidden-black-ancestry-linked-to-rise-in-sickle-cell-blood-disorder-738008.html

This makes sense to me. It is more common in ethnic groups (Latinos, Middle Easterners, Southern Europeans, etc.) that are more likely to have black admixture. It is less common in ethnic groups (East Asians, Northern Europeans, Eastern Europeans, etc.) that are less likely to have black admixture. This seems to anecdotally line up with what the articles are saying.

I have the trait but am Puerto Rican and have a small amount of West African ancestry. It doesn’t cause me any health issues.