Husband has Sickle Cell gene and didn't tell me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

I’m also a sickle cell carrier who somehow managed to contract malaria twice on two SEPARATE trips to two DIFFERENT African countries (Ghana & Angola). 🙄 We’re out here!!

I swear I’m a malaria magnet. My kids and husband didn't contract it on either trip, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

I’m also a sickle cell carrier who somehow managed to contract malaria twice on two SEPARATE trips to two DIFFERENT African countries (Ghana & Angola). 🙄 We’re out here!!

I swear I’m a malaria magnet. My kids and husband didn't contract it on either trip, thankfully.

You have to take malaria prevention medication, sleep under treated mosquito nets, and use mosquito repellent spray on your clothes and body. It sounds like overkill, but it makes a huge difference. You can never be too careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he say why he didn't tell you?

OP here - All he has said is that he didn't want to worry me.

Being a sickle cell carrier is nbd. I didn’t know I was one until I was 40 (because my parents forgot to tell me)! It’s just something to be aware of if they go to visit someplace with high altitude.

It’s not NBD for everyone. It has complicated my treatment for cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

I’m also a sickle cell carrier who somehow managed to contract malaria twice on two SEPARATE trips to two DIFFERENT African countries (Ghana & Angola). 🙄 We’re out here!!

I swear I’m a malaria magnet. My kids and husband didn't contract it on either trip, thankfully.

You have to take malaria prevention medication, sleep under treated mosquito nets, and use mosquito repellent spray on your clothes and body. It sounds like overkill, but it makes a huge difference. You can never be too careful.

Not the poster you replied to but that seems like a pain in the rear end (to put it politely) and not something I’d want to deal with while on vacation. I’d rather just stay away from countries that are infested with it. There’s plenty of foreign countries to visit that have little to no risk of malaria.

[Anonymous]

Random genetic mutations happen all the time. There is literally no way to 100% prevent having a "bad" gene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a carrier of the trait, as was my mom. My mom told me I was negative so I was totally surprised when I came up positive during my pregnancy labs. This is not a big deal and not worth you getting an amniocentesis over. Your child has a 50 percent chance of being a carrier. One of my kids is, the other isn't. We need to stay well hydrated and listen to our bodies, that is all. Please calm down. And not only black people can have it. This is misinformation.

Not everyone that has sickle cell trait is black, but everyone that has sickle cell trait has a black ancestor. They traced the origin of the gene back to one child that lived in Africa 7,300 years ago.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-43373247

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/hidden-black-ancestry-linked-to-rise-in-sickle-cell-blood-disorder-738008.html

This is true. This is how there are people that physically appear to be fully European that have sickle cell trait or disease. The African ancestry decreases with each generation, but the sickle cell allele can keep getting passed down. The ancestry won't always show up on an ancestry DNA test either because those tests only go back 6-8 generations. I was taught that we are to screen every patient regardless of what they self-report their background as or what they physically appear to be for this exact reason. Not every medical professional is aware of this or follows this protocol though.

This, this, this. I tested positive for sickle cell trait (not the disease). I took an ancestry test, and it said 2.7% Sub-Saharan African. I look fully European (obviously).

Here is a prime example of why ALL of your ancestry matters - even the extremely low percentages that you think are insignificant. DNA does not care how low your percentage is. You can be 1% African and have multiple African genetic markers that have stuck around, such as being a carrier of sickle cell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, eugenics is frightening.

Eugenics based on superficial, shallow things like physical appearance (hair color, skin color, eye color, etc.) is frightening. People wanting their kids to be healthy so that they do not have to endure pain/a shortened lifespan is not frightening. There is a reason why the medical community advocates for genetic testing for medical conditions before and during pregnancy!

Ableist.

You're either a troll or just plain stupid. People with sickle cell disease literally encourage couples to get tested before having children. They have first hand knowledge of what it is like to suffer immensely all because their parents either were unaware of their carrier status or chose to have children together knowing they were both carriers. Don't be selfish! Your children will resent you for it.

I'm going to assume you have the privilege of not constantly experiencing horrific pain due to sickle cell disease. Consider yourself blessed and educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, eugenics is frightening.

Eugenics based on superficial, shallow things like physical appearance (hair color, skin color, eye color, etc.) is frightening. People wanting their kids to be healthy so that they do not have to endure pain/a shortened lifespan is not frightening. There is a reason why the medical community advocates for genetic testing for medical conditions before and during pregnancy!

Ableist.

You're either a troll or just plain stupid. People with sickle cell disease literally encourage couples to get tested before having children. They have first hand knowledge of what it is like to suffer immensely all because their parents either were unaware of their carrier status or chose to have children together knowing they were both carriers. Don't be selfish! Your children will resent you for it.

I'm going to assume you have the privilege of not constantly experiencing horrific pain due to sickle cell disease. Consider yourself blessed and educate yourself.

The person you replied to is a virtue signaler. Ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

I’m also a sickle cell carrier who somehow managed to contract malaria twice on two SEPARATE trips to two DIFFERENT African countries (Ghana & Angola). 🙄 We’re out here!!

I swear I’m a malaria magnet. My kids and husband didn't contract it on either trip, thankfully.

Not to be rude but how did you not learn your lesson after the 1st time? I wish folks would stop traveling to third world countries where they bring highly contagious diseases that have basically been eradicated here back with them and spread it to the rest of us. (Before anyone tries to argue, I know malaria ISN’T contagious. I’m saying in general.)

I just read that the measles outbreak that we’re currently experiencing in the US started with a person who traveled out of the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

I’m also a sickle cell carrier who somehow managed to contract malaria twice on two SEPARATE trips to two DIFFERENT African countries (Ghana & Angola). 🙄 We’re out here!!

I swear I’m a malaria magnet. My kids and husband didn't contract it on either trip, thankfully.

Not to be rude but how did you not learn your lesson after the 1st time? I wish folks would stop traveling to third world countries where they bring highly contagious diseases that have basically been eradicated here back with them and spread it to the rest of us. (Before anyone tries to argue, I know malaria ISN’T contagious. I’m saying in general.)

I just read that the measles outbreak that we’re currently experiencing in the US started with a person who traveled out of the country.

You're absolutely right. I've held this same opinion ever since my brother and sister-in-law went to Laos and got typhoid fever despite having all of their travel vaccines. You can't always count on vaccines to protect you because they're not 100% effective. It's safer to avoid going to high-risk areas (unless absolutely necessary) in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a sickle cell carrier lends an advantage - it's protective against malaria (that's why lots of black people have the gene -- the gene helped carriers survive in africa for a long time).

having sickle cell requires two parents, so your children will be fine (and will actually have an advantage).

https://www.reddit.com/r/DebateEvolution/comments/1gfav0r/the_argument_over_sickle_cell/

I don’t know about this based on personal experience. I am a sickle cell carrier and got malaria while traveling in the DR Congo. It was severe. I had to be hospitalized. It ruined my trip. Worst time of my life.

It’s definitely not foolproof. It depends on what genotype you have. There’s different forms of sickle cell.

The AA genotype is the typical genotype (no sickle cell trait or disease). It offers no protection against malaria.

The AS (means you have sickle cell trait) and AC (means you have Hemoglobin C trait), and CC (means you have Hemoglobin C disease) genotypes are shown to be protective against malaria and have the lowest mortality (death) rates when infected with malaria.

The SS (means you have the extreme and most common form of sickle cell disease) and SC (means you have a milder and less common form of sickle cell disease) genotypes are shown to be somewhat protective but also have the highest mortality (death) rates when infected with malaria.

I’m AS. I just have plain ol’ sickle cell trait.

What’s your blood type then?

O+

What does blood type have to do with it? I thought anyone with any blood type could contract malaria if exposed to it...

[Anonymous]

In all the furor over does it matter...
Is it ok not to tell a partner what you know about family medical history before TTC? Why or why not.
OP's DH KNEW AND WAITED TO TELL HER UNTIL SHE WAS PREGNANT. So as "not to worry her."

Yeah, he will do that if he gets the clap too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all the furor over does it matter...
Is it ok not to tell a partner what you know about family medical history before TTC? Why or why not.
OP's DH KNEW AND WAITED TO TELL HER UNTIL SHE WAS PREGNANT. So as "not to worry her."

Yeah, he will do that if he gets the clap too.

Men are able to get away with a lot more than women are in general. If a man got on the internet and said that his wife didn’t disclose something like this to him when she was aware of it, everyone (especially other men) would be screaming divorce.

When a man does something like this, people give him the benefit of the doubt. When a woman does something like this, people automatically think she’s deceptive in every aspect of life and can never be trusted again.

I hate to break it to everyone, but men can be just as calculated and manipulative as women can be. He knew what he was doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all the furor over does it matter...
Is it ok not to tell a partner what you know about family medical history before TTC? Why or why not.
OP's DH KNEW AND WAITED TO TELL HER UNTIL SHE WAS PREGNANT. So as "not to worry her."

Yeah, he will do that if he gets the clap too.

Men are able to get away with a lot more than women are in general. If a man got on the internet and said that his wife didn’t disclose something like this to him when she was aware of it, everyone (especially other men) would be screaming divorce.

When a man does something like this, people give him the benefit of the doubt. When a woman does something like this, people automatically think she’s deceptive in every aspect of life and can never be trusted again.

I hate to break it to everyone, but men can be just as calculated and manipulative as women can be. He knew what he was doing.

A slightly different subject but I’ve noticed this with the baby name threads. Moms are told to “compromise” AKA just give in and let him have his way when the dad will not consider any other name because he is insistent on a certain name the mom doesn’t like. People lose their minds and get personally offended if a mom even suggests that she feels stuck on a name the dad doesn’t like. The whole conversation turns into a giant lecture on how the dad is an equal parent and the mom is trying to deprive him of that. I just don’t get how it’s accepted behavior for one parent and not the other. I’ve seen so many moms be bullied by their spouses into giving their children names that they can’t stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is black, this would have been discussed at some point with your health care team.

If he isn't black, but is from a middle east, mediterranean, south asian background, then he likely had family with the disease to have been tested himself.

OP here - He has African ancestry (15% according to his 23andMe). The remaining percentage is European.

His parents found out that he has the gene after routine newborn screening in the hospital when he was born.

One person with the trait doesn't matter. Do you have it OP? If not, keep it moving. We are Black and my Mom and Sister have the trait. No one else.

I have the trait and have had to be admitted to the hospital 15ish times in my life. My blood sickles when I’m not in optimal conditions. Right now is the worst time of the year for me because of the cold weather. Every single person with SCT can have this happen, but not all of us will. Our red blood cells are not the same as someone who doesn’t have the trait. Their red blood cells never sickle. Ours do. I believe they downplay how bad SCT can be because they want to reduce the stigma and do not want people to panic. It’s understandable, but I wish they’d listen to us.

https://healthunlocked.com/sicklecellsociety/posts/245584/crisis-but-only-sickle-cell-trait