When you look back, how much control in HS is too much?

[Anonymous]

I think alot of people around here were high achieving, and see their child as just one more project to control/perfect.

Some of us have average kids. Eventually that will come out, though when they are little you can use tutors and over management to try to shape them into the offspring so you envisioned for yourself.

The message that sounds to them, I am afraid, is that they are not good enough. Their best efforts disappoint you.

That can lead to mental health problems , including substance abuse.

I am not sure what you should do, except love the kid you have been given. My own child works very hard, but has limited academic abilities. I praise her and appreciate her many other strengths.

[Anonymous]

Your monitoring should have an eye towards teaching them self monitoring systems/habits. (Such as Making a semester schedule of deadlines when all syllabi are distributed.) The need for that is right around the corner.

Don’t be that parent who is still helping them complete assignments in grad school . They are a crutch, encouraging dependence far too long. That kid also realizes “their” achievements are not their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think alot of people around here were high achieving, and see their child as just one more project to control/perfect.

Some of us have average kids. Eventually that will come out, though when they are little you can use tutors and over management to try to shape them into the offspring so you envisioned for yourself.

The message that sounds to them, I am afraid, is that they are not good enough. Their best efforts disappoint you.

That can lead to mental health problems , including substance abuse.

I am not sure what you should do, except love the kid you have been given. My own child works very hard, but has limited academic abilities. I praise her and appreciate her many other strengths.

OP here.
FWIW my child is average. I’ve accepted it, but he is still capable of not getting C’s in his mostly on level classes. However I have to make sure assignments don’t slip through the cracks and deadlines are adhered to. That’s what I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your monitoring should have an eye towards teaching them self monitoring systems/habits. (Such as Making a semester schedule of deadlines when all syllabi are distributed.) The need for that is right around the corner.

Don’t be that parent who is still helping them complete assignments in grad school . They are a crutch, encouraging dependence far too long. That kid also realizes “their” achievements are not their own.

Yes I try to do that but it’s very challenging
-OP