More time or less time in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of three little kids and we have to get out of the door by 7:15 every morning. Kids are 10,9,4.
Husband is away during the week, no nanny or family to help.

I cannot figure out the balance of having more time or less time. It seems like no matter what, we are rushing.

If I wake them up early, then it seems like there’s more time for them to make a big breakfast mess, start a game that I have to pull them away from, or settle into an activity that I have to pull them away from even if it’s a TV show.

And no matter what, it seems like it takes the four-year-old about 15 or 20 minutes to get out the door.

I would love to know how people do it. Do you have rewards? Consequences? Do you wake up at 5 AM and get yourself fully ready so by the time the kids get up at 6:30 you can just focus on them?

My nervous system can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m just yelling at everyone for a solid hour.

HA HA! You have 3 kids. You are the problem.

[Anonymous]

You need to be more organized. Can you get up an hour earlier?

Make sure that kids shower at night before bed, so that they don't have to shower in the morning. Keep some water and conditioner in a spray bottle so that kids can spray their hair and comb it neatly. Make sure that clothes are laid out and all the homework etc is already packed in the book bag.

No screen time. No junk food. No sugar. Make sure that your kids are well hydrated and are eating nutritious and healthy foods. Increase fiber in their meals so that they can poop easily (and quickly) in the mornings.

Don't be a hot mess mom. You have not even encountered the challenges of middle school and high school. You do not train your kids well, and you do not pay attention to their EC and Academics - your kids will have problems come time to go to college. No one can survive in today's uber-competetive job market if they are not organized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The screens in the morning started as a way to keep my 4 year old contained. He’s a swirly madman. He wakes up going 1,000,000 miles an hour and he always needs a ton of things. It was a way to contain his tornado while the rest of us got ready.

But now the older boys sit down and watch TV with him without getting ready so it’s just become a bit of a mess.

Get an indoor trampoline - he can bounce away some of his energy while waiting for breakfast after he's dressed.

[Anonymous]

OP, get up and get fully ready before you get the kids up. Keep them moving. Eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth and out the door. No screens or games. Everyone have bags packed the night before, lunches in fridge, and clothes picked out.

[Anonymous]

When I was dropping my kids to school, we ate breakfast in the car.

Usually it was a savory lentil pancake roll stuffed with cheese, eggs & veggies and washed down with a super nutritious shake with yogurt, nuts, fruits, brewers yeast, seeds and dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The screens in the morning started as a way to keep my 4 year old contained. He’s a swirly madman. He wakes up going 1,000,000 miles an hour and he always needs a ton of things. It was a way to contain his tornado while the rest of us got ready.

But now the older boys sit down and watch TV with him without getting ready so it’s just become a bit of a mess.

He can behave without the screen in the morning. Truly, he can. You need to be ready yourself and capable of parenting him when he wakes up. A 4 yr old shouldn’t need more than 45 min max to wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast. You can manage that. He won’t learn to behave if you keep giving him the screen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Good ideas.

I like the idea of data tracking. I also need to be up much earlier.

If they don’t do screens, everyone fusses. They are not easy kids especially in the morning. If they sit at the table and eat breakfast, without me there (I’m getting ready) they’ll fight.

I let them watch tv while I’m getting ready.

I think I need to get up earlier and then be able to monitor from 6:45-7:15 and move everyone along. It’s a big anxious, adhd mess.

Good luck. I suggested the data tracking. I have ADHD and thought you might from your subject line. Besides helping to figure out times to do things and when to wake up, what having the data has done for me is it allows me to pivot (triage) in real time. If something has gone wrong, I know what to drop to stay on track. Maybe it means eating in the car, or older ones putting their shoes on in the car, or doing someone's hair between drop offs if I know there's time.

It also tells me when I can and can't add anything else to the schedule. For instance, yesterday one of my kids got up early, so I let them play a game but only until their normal wakeup time. I knew the day before that playing the game would torpedo the schedule.

Time blindness is a real thing in ADHD. Having less time can actually help some people with focus because you have to keep doing only the tasks to get out the door. Things fall apart when you think you can just do this one little thing. As such, getting up at the last minute and having less time helps one of my kids. Another must have leisurely time to read at the breakfast table, but they're a morning person.

For you, try to go to bed earlier. Unfortunately at least for me, this doesn't start 10 minutes before my desired bedtime like I believed for a long time. It starts with choice I make like 90 minutes before. I sort of took data on why I was always going to bed later than my goal time too.

Use data as facts (it really does take this long to do the thing or the same thing tends to throw us off) NOT to judge yourself.

[Anonymous]

Get up, get dressed, make breakfast.

Wake the 2 older kids to get up.

Wake the 4 year old and help them get dressed.

We did breakfast in the car on the way to school.

I would get the youngest in the car and get in the car.

I gave the older one 5 minutes to get in the car without me int he house rushing them around, creating chaos and being a nag. I listened to music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was dropping my kids to school, we ate breakfast in the car.

Usually it was a savory lentil pancake roll stuffed with cheese, eggs & veggies and washed down with a super nutritious shake with yogurt, nuts, fruits, brewers yeast, seeds and dates.

Yuck! Also, I seriously doubt OP has time to prepare this type of breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was dropping my kids to school, we ate breakfast in the car.

Usually it was a savory lentil pancake roll stuffed with cheese, eggs & veggies and washed down with a super nutritious shake with yogurt, nuts, fruits, brewers yeast, seeds and dates.

Yuck! Also, I seriously doubt OP has time to prepare this type of breakfast.

Agree. What in the world. This sounds harder, not easier. Now you have to put everything in containers, take to car, then take all the stuff back out of the car, plus the mess in the car. No thanks. Plus gross. Eat at the table.

[Anonymous]

Why are people eating in the car? I truly don’t get it. It’s more time and work to pack up breakfast, take in the car, then clean out the car than to just eat it at the table like a normal person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was dropping my kids to school, we ate breakfast in the car.

Usually it was a savory lentil pancake roll stuffed with cheese, eggs & veggies and washed down with a super nutritious shake with yogurt, nuts, fruits, brewers yeast, seeds and dates.

Yuck! Also, I seriously doubt OP has time to prepare this type of breakfast.

This made me LOL. It has to be a troll. Sometimes I think people just string food words together. It’s the DCUM way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people eating in the car? I truly don’t get it. It’s more time and work to pack up breakfast, take in the car, then clean out the car than to just eat it at the table like a normal person.

My kids eat at home at the dining table but I have one kid who is an insanely slow eater and I could see the appeal of a car meal for her because the drive is 5 minutes and it would basically force her to eat her meal efficiently. At home it's very hard to keep her on task and eating -- she's always chatting away, getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the meal, coming back and complaining that her food has gotten cold or soggy in the meantime, etc.

But it's all a delay tactic. She's a homebody and even though she likes school once she's there, she hates leaving the house and fights getting out of bed and getting dressed. The breakfast thing is just part of that -- she's not like this at other meals.

I hate food in the car and like having kids eat meals at the table so we're not giving her car meals anytime soon, but I get the appeal. If she only had to get dressed and brush teeth and hair before leaving the house, we could get her out the door in like a 5th of the time it currently takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was dropping my kids to school, we ate breakfast in the car.

Usually it was a savory lentil pancake roll stuffed with cheese, eggs & veggies and washed down with a super nutritious shake with yogurt, nuts, fruits, brewers yeast, seeds and dates.

Yuck! Also, I seriously doubt OP has time to prepare this type of breakfast.

This made me LOL. It has to be a troll. Sometimes I think people just string food words together. It’s the DCUM way.

I don’t think so. It sounds like an Indian-American breakfast. Or a hippie American mom. Sounds delicious to me but not in the car!!

[Anonymous]

Three kids left at the breakfast table while you get ready? No no no, I don’t even leave the breakfast table and I only have 1 kid!