More time or less time in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Mom of three little kids and we have to get out of the door by 7:15 every morning. Kids are 10,9,4.
Husband is away during the week, no nanny or family to help.

I cannot figure out the balance of having more time or less time. It seems like no matter what, we are rushing.

If I wake them up early, then it seems like there’s more time for them to make a big breakfast mess, start a game that I have to pull them away from, or settle into an activity that I have to pull them away from even if it’s a TV show.

And no matter what, it seems like it takes the four-year-old about 15 or 20 minutes to get out the door.

I would love to know how people do it. Do you have rewards? Consequences? Do you wake up at 5 AM and get yourself fully ready so by the time the kids get up at 6:30 you can just focus on them?

My nervous system can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m just yelling at everyone for a solid hour.

[Anonymous]

We really tried to limit screens when our kid was 4 or so but one thing we did was allot a reasonable amount of time to get ready to be out the door and say if they got ready faster then the extra time could be spent on the phone or whatever.

[Anonymous]

You stagger them.

Also, yes, I would get myself mostly ready before they get up. But that should not mean getting up at 5am. I would get up at 6 and take a shower, get dressed, and apply product to my hair.

Then get up older kids, they should get dressed and then come eat breakfast. I would eat breakfast with them. This would be around 6:30.

After breakfast, they should go finished getting ready (brush teeth and hair, get backpacks) while also finish getting ready (brush teeth, blowdry hair if necessary, quick makeup, shoes by door).

Then when the three of us are ready to go, I'd get the 4 yr old up at 6:55 and get them ready (this will be totally hands on) while older kids read or play. No TV, no screens at all, that will only make it harder to leave.

Then out the door.

[Anonymous]

I have one kid who takes forever no matter what I do. Now that she’s older (12) she does better with less time, but when she was younger, I just could not get her to go faster.

My system was to wake up and get myself ready. Make breakfast for the kids then wake them up. No screens, but they were allowed to start a game or play or whatever if they were totally ready for school (except shoes- which we don’t wear in the house.)

10 minutes before we had to leave we would all get ready to go. My slow kid needed that whole 10 minutes to put her shoes on and pick up her backpack, I swear.

We had the same routine every day and used an alarm to be sure everyone knew when it was time to put shoes on. Also from about ages 3-8 my kids slept in their school clothes. It was a total game changer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one kid who takes forever no matter what I do. Now that she’s older (12) she does better with less time, but when she was younger, I just could not get her to go faster.

My system was to wake up and get myself ready. Make breakfast for the kids then wake them up. No screens, but they were allowed to start a game or play or whatever if they were totally ready for school (except shoes- which we don’t wear in the house.)

10 minutes before we had to leave we would all get ready to go. My slow kid needed that whole 10 minutes to put her shoes on and pick up her backpack, I swear.

We had the same routine every day and used an alarm to be sure everyone knew when it was time to put shoes on. Also from about ages 3-8 my kids slept in their school clothes. It was a total game changer.

We do the bolded as well. The "go" time I advertise to the kids is the time they have to put their stuff on. In winter it sometimes needs to be 15 minutes for my kids who still gather hats, scarves, and gloves for recess.

[Anonymous]

No screens whatsoever in the mornings. And yes I would get up, showered, dogs out and fed, before waking children.
Get as much done the night before as u can. Clothes out on dresser, kitchen rustier and ready to go, lunchboxes packed if they take lunch. Shoes by the door. Toothbrush/toothpaste in kitchen to save wasted time going back upstairs.

[Anonymous]

NO TV or screens or video games in the morning. This is 100% why you're in this situation each day.

Wake up early to get yourself ready.

Pack lunches/snacks/water bottles the night before.

Set breakfast table the night before.

Put clothes out including shoes and outwear the night before.

Kids clear plates after breakfast. Then get dressed and ready right away. PJs in hampers, clothes on, teeth and hair brushed. Then they can have some free play only when they are ready.

Give kids 15 minute warning until time to go. This is when they are reminded they have to clean up whatever they were playing with.

Give kids 5 minute warning before time to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You stagger them.

Also, yes, I would get myself mostly ready before they get up. But that should not mean getting up at 5am. I would get up at 6 and take a shower, get dressed, and apply product to my hair.

Then get up older kids, they should get dressed and then come eat breakfast. I would eat breakfast with them. This would be around 6:30.

After breakfast, they should go finished getting ready (brush teeth and hair, get backpacks) while also finish getting ready (brush teeth, blowdry hair if necessary, quick makeup, shoes by door).

Then when the three of us are ready to go, I'd get the 4 yr old up at 6:55 and get them ready (this will be totally hands on) while older kids read or play. No TV, no screens at all, that will only make it harder to leave.

Then out the door.

This is perfect and pretty much exactly what I was going to say. That last 20 minutes, three of you are ready to go and you are fully hands on

[Anonymous]

Have the 4 year old wear what they are going to wear to school to bed. We had to do that for my DS bc he was just so slow in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried switching up the order of things in the morning? I only have one so it's a completely different game, but I used to always serve breakfast first and eating took FOREVER. Now he gets ready and comes down dressed. After he eats breakfast, he just has to brush teeth and fix hair, and pack up.

[Anonymous]

DH has the kids on like some kind of military precision in the morning. They (9, 7 and 4) all wake up early on their own, but get themselves completely dressed and fed before they're allowed TV. At 7:25 all 3 are standing there with shoes, coats, backpacks at the door ready to go. It blows my mind when I have to do morning drop off and I see it first hand. I think they just think there will be immediate consequences if they aren't ready (he doesn't spank or anything, so I'm not sure what they think will happen. ha). My oldest does have inattentive ADHD, so I think this is teaching her executive functioning. The older two help the 4 year old get cereal or open her yogurt, but he 4 year old does get breakfast at preschool.

DH has automated Alexa alarms going off telling the kids which stage they should be at. "It's 7:25, gather everything and stand by the front door for loading." lol

[Anonymous]

Can the 10 and 9 year olds help the 4 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has the kids on like some kind of military precision in the morning. They (9, 7 and 4) all wake up early on their own, but get themselves completely dressed and fed before they're allowed TV. At 7:25 all 3 are standing there with shoes, coats, backpacks at the door ready to go. It blows my mind when I have to do morning drop off and I see it first hand. I think they just think there will be immediate consequences if they aren't ready (he doesn't spank or anything, so I'm not sure what they think will happen. ha). My oldest does have inattentive ADHD, so I think this is teaching her executive functioning. The older two help the 4 year old get cereal or open her yogurt, but he 4 year old does get breakfast at preschool.

DH has automated Alexa alarms going off telling the kids which stage they should be at. "It's 7:25, gather everything and stand by the front door for loading." lol

Awesome!

[Anonymous]

Pp said something really important- have the kids get dressed and ready before breakfast. That way if things are going slow they can eat the last bite and run. Mine brush their teeth before breakfast, but if you really want them to do it after, you can keep a set of toothbrushes near your kitchen so they don’t walk away from the “main” area near when it’s time to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp said something really important- have the kids get dressed and ready before breakfast. That way if things are going slow they can eat the last bite and run. Mine brush their teeth before breakfast, but if you really want them to do it after, you can keep a set of toothbrushes near your kitchen so they don’t walk away from the “main” area near when it’s time to go.

Yes, getting dressed before they come downstairs and have breakfast has been essential for us too! The kids have toothbrushes at the kitchen sink so they don’t have to go back upstairs after breakfast and I put together their breakfasts while they get their water bottles and backpacks together. That way they aren’t tripping over each other to make their breakfasts but are still doing tasks that move us towards getting out the door - still some mornings are smoother than others…