More time or less time in the morning?

[Anonymous]

There's no playing in the morning. You don't leave your bedroom until fully dressed (minus shoes, jacket). You come to an adult to get your hair done if you can't do it yourself, with an idea of what you want (pony, braid) and the hair stuff to do it.

Backpacks are put near the front door each night, lunches are made the night before and in the fridge.

Kids sit at the table and breakfast is served - cereal and yogurt alternate, always a plate of fruit. Maybe eggs if everyone likes scrambled.

[Anonymous]

Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

[Anonymous]

Empower the 9 and 10 year olds to get their own breakfast (and maybe even help the 4 year olds).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

To keep the car clean. We only allow water in our car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

Yuck. I don’t understand the people promoting car eating. Have the kids get up 10 minutes earlier or say no screens. Or lay out clothes beforehand. Or or or. So many ways to get ready in the morning that doesn’t involve kids eating pancake syrup and sausages in the minivan.

[Anonymous]

We wake our kids up a full hour after they have to be out the door. I am hybrid in office but even if I am WFH that day, I get fully ready before I get them up. I sit and eat breakfast with them for about 15 minutes, then they get dressed and I will do hair, enforce teeth brushing, make sure we have anything we need. This usually end with some extra time to just hang out so they feed the dog, let her out, etc. No screens in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

Yuck. I don’t understand the people promoting car eating. Have the kids get up 10 minutes earlier or say no screens. Or lay out clothes beforehand. Or or or. So many ways to get ready in the morning that doesn’t involve kids eating pancake syrup and sausages in the minivan.

One its muffins so contained and two, there are some tradeoffs for every choice. I don't think cereal is an appropriate choice for breakfast but you dont see me replying yuck like a 2 year old. FFS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have the 4 year old wear what they are going to wear to school to bed. We had to do that for my DS bc he was just so slow in the morning.

This is a terrible suggestion. Stop making your kid lazy. It takes a couple minutes to put on clothes in the morning.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn’t be that bad. Yes, get up before them and get ready. You should be ready for the day and headed down to make breakfast and pack lunches as they are waking up. You finish breakfast and pack lunches as they get dressed and brush teeth. When breakfast is ready, assist 4 yr old if needed or one of the older kids can do that. The 9 and 10 yr old shouldn’t need any help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

Yuck. I don’t understand the people promoting car eating. Have the kids get up 10 minutes earlier or say no screens. Or lay out clothes beforehand. Or or or. So many ways to get ready in the morning that doesn’t involve kids eating pancake syrup and sausages in the minivan.

One its muffins so contained and two, there are some tradeoffs for every choice. I don't think cereal is an appropriate choice for breakfast but you dont see me replying yuck like a 2 year old. FFS

Yuck because I don't think promoting daily breakfast in the car on the way to school is great. It's better than not eating, but really kids need to build the structure and mindfulness around eating. It doesn't take that long and is a lot healthier.

[Anonymous]

This will sound weird but I'd take data this week and figure out where your problem(s) actually is. Write down when you wake up, when each kid wakes up, how long your personal routine takes, how long breakfast takes, what was eaten, what specifically you yelled about, when you get out the door, etc. I found a lot of inconsistency in my own habits when I did this.

The more you know how long each piece truly takes rather than what you think it "should" take, the easier it is to tackle the real issues.

Do anything that can be done at night at night. My husband's not home mornings either. We actually pack breakfast in a lunchbox but it gets eaten at the table, allowing independence. I know what time I have to be in/out of the shower for the whole thing to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not car breakfast? Tops with lids and sausage pancake muffins with berries would be my choice.

Yuck. I don’t understand the people promoting car eating. Have the kids get up 10 minutes earlier or say no screens. Or lay out clothes beforehand. Or or or. So many ways to get ready in the morning that doesn’t involve kids eating pancake syrup and sausages in the minivan.

One its muffins so contained and two, there are some tradeoffs for every choice. I don't think cereal is an appropriate choice for breakfast but you dont see me replying yuck like a 2 year old. FFS

Yuck because I don't think promoting daily breakfast in the car on the way to school is great. It's better than not eating, but really kids need to build the structure and mindfulness around eating. It doesn't take that long and is a lot healthier.

That wasn't my suggestion, but this OP is having worse issues than that right now. She can take or leave the suggestions and also can improve food or clothing choices if she wants once she has a better routine down.

[Anonymous]

Did OP come back to clarify exactly what's happening or what she thinks the problems are? Here's what I see based on guessing:

It seems like no matter what, we are rushing.
- Really rushing, or do things feel frenzied and stressed?

If I wake them up early, then it seems like there’s more time for them to make a big breakfast mess, start a game that I have to pull them away from, or settle into an activity that I have to pull them away from even if it’s a TV show. - These are easy fixes. Breakfast mess gets cleaned up by the 10 and 9 year olds. 4 year old must be supervised by you to eat. ideally you all eat together, or you at least sit down with them with coffee. No TV, no games, nothing before school. The older ones can read or study.

And no matter what, it seems like it takes the four-year-old about 15 or 20 minutes to get out the door. - Yes, I think this is just the reality. Hopefully the 9 and 10 year olds can help a bit - help get coat on, tie shoes, etc.

I would love to know how people do it. Do you have rewards? Consequences? Do you wake up at 5 AM and get yourself fully ready so by the time the kids get up at 6:30 you can just focus on them? My nervous system can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m just yelling at everyone for a solid hour. Do you have checklists? If they all need the same items, have a single checklist by the door. They should be able to check themselves. If you add pictures to each item, 4 year old may be able to do some of it himself. Mine is 9 and I still have a checklist. Heck you can also print and put up a checklist in the bathroom to remind them of what needs to be done in what order (Make bed, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, laundry in hamper, turn off all lightsm head downstairs to pack backpacks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the 4 year old wear what they are going to wear to school to bed. We had to do that for my DS bc he was just so slow in the morning.

This is a terrible suggestion. Stop making your kid lazy. It takes a couple minutes to put on clothes in the morning.

Agree that's a bad suggestion. Give the four year old two weather-appropriate options to choose from, and tell them to get dressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No screens whatsoever in the mornings. And yes I would get up, showered, dogs out and fed, before waking children.
Get as much done the night before as u can. Clothes out on dresser, kitchen rustier and ready to go, lunchboxes packed if they take lunch. Shoes by the door. Toothbrush/toothpaste in kitchen to save wasted time going back upstairs.

Yes this. Get mostly ready before they wake up. Have bags, lunches done already. Find shoes before bed and put them by backpacks. Toothbrushes/hairbrushes are in our kitchen powder room so no one goes back up. As each kid comes down I check they have what they need (sweatshirt ON and socks ON) so no one has to go back up stairs. If something needs to be fetched, I've found it's easiest if I fetch it because they tend to dig and drag it out.

In our house, kids are up at 6:30 and we are out the door by 7:15. We've been doing this for years so they are pretty used to it.

4 year olds are tough though too. So if it's not great, that's probably why! I remember feeling like it got SO MUCH easier once my youngest was in 1st grade and really understood the drill.