Why do so many married men cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because humans are not biologically programmed to be monogamous. Not men, not women. Especially not women. The only reason we ever were was, well, death and economic hardship.

Human relationships are complicated.

BS. It's called free choice, morals and will power. It's what separates humans from animals. Cheaters have low/no morals and will say anything to justify their immoral abhorrent behavior.

Most married folks are presented with opportunities to cheat often, but don't, and instead choose good and faithfulness to their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many married men cheat?

Because men love sex and find it hard to resist, adulterous sex is likely much hotter than regular sex, variety is appealing and monogamy feels boring at times. None of this is a justification, of course, but given the appeal, it’s really not surprising that a lot of men succumb to temptation if and when the opportunity presents itself. Fundamentally, it boils down to weakness of character and an inability to prioritize doing the right thing over the pleasures of the moment. That said, most men don’t cheat, even if given the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women stay with husbands who cheat? All the women on DHs side have cheating husbands. They all took them back. Like wtf. Have some self respect and LEAVE. You deserve better.

In most cases it’s because they will tolerate almost anything to not give up time with their kids, especially when they are small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

It might not be apparent at the moment but you’re better off being out of that toxicity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

👀 you sound faultless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

Mine also was banging much below their weight. Married, 50, no job, newer had a career, butter face, bod not great. Also- victimhood thing. He could feel superior and she could blow smoke up his @ss.

[Anonymous]

Because they lack loyalty, morals and integrity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s just sex and people shouldn’t care so damned much. All that matters is who he comes home to in the end.

Unless it is an open relationship, it is never just sex because of the lies and deception. They are selfish, opportunistic and insecure people, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

[Anonymous]

What stupid AI marketing slop is this thread even - women cheat almost as much as man and are catching up quickly.

The thread should be - why are people terrible

[Anonymous]

I think women cheat as much as men to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

👀 you sound faultless

I’m not faultless. But I could not emotionally compete with a woman who experienced so much trauma that she needed a rescuer. He felt huge validation rescuing her, and I think that might explain why they are still together. I thought it would burn out. He felt insecurities & she validated him when she divorced her ex and said she’d wait “forever” because he’s “her person.” He saw me as the mother of his kids & less like this new person who was highly traumatized. Again, I thought the woman he’d leave me for is this accomplished Ivy leaguer who is 10 years younger and a GS-14 who goes on a daily lunch run. It’s hard to “compete” or keep up with youthful and fit. But his affair type was rescuer-victim. I have only met a handful of other women who went thru something similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any married men who cheat, but I’m a divorced woman, and in all the divorces, I know of personally cheating was not a factor at all because it didn’t happen that wasn’t the reason for the divorce.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because humans are not biologically programmed to be monogamous. Not men, not women. Especially not women. The only reason we ever were was, well, death and economic hardship.

Human relationships are complicated.

Humans are not programmed to not murder either.

[Anonymous]

Just men? I was a cheating married man for 10 years and I can tell you from experience, the amount of cheating wives on the market is at least equal to, if not more than the men in the same game. And those are people who are actively cheating and finding each other. The amount of women who would cheat, if approached correctly, are also just as high. There are also plenty of unmarried women who will gladly have an affair with a married man. That last one surprised me most when I entered that into that game.

As to why any married person cheats? Shocker I know, but it's lack of sex, marriage that is dead but they won't get divorced for..reasons, along with bitterness and anger towards the spouse. I only cheated with one wife who said her and her H had a great and frequent sex life. She did it out of anger she felt towards him for his disrespect towards her. She was also the only one who got caught. All the others were seeking the sex they were not getting in their marriage.

I know the expert married harpies along with a few scorned women of DCUM have a totally different opinion but it's as simple as that. We will surely hear from-or maybe she already posted, I didn't read them yet-that ONE woman here who claimes she gave her H all the sex he wanted but he still cheated because, all men are pigs but I'm here to tell you, that's not how it works.

Cheating is a pain in the butt. It's a lot of work to find someone, arrange the liaisons, maintain privacy, all just to fulfill a sexual need. Men are lazy. We'd much rather get it at home and most men wouldn't bother to go through all that trouble if he got regular sex at home. Women especially wouldn't although they are much better liars and cheaters in general.