Why do so many married men cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

Mine also was banging much below their weight. Married, 50, no job, newer had a career, butter face, bod not great. Also- victimhood thing. He could feel superior and she could blow smoke up his @ss.

I wonder what the two marriages above had in common that women you both find much inferior to you in both looks and life in general were able to so easily steal your man. But we know, don't we? You both just choose to gloss over it or, if called out, are likely to lie. I can tell you, no man chooses a woman for sex who is less good looking than his current partner, unless the choice is, sex with this AP, or no sex with his better looking wife. If you really wanted to keep your man, you know how to do that. Every woman knows. Why all the shock and dismay when a man or woman in a sexless, or near sexless marriage makes that choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They signed up for a monogamous sexual relationship.

When the sex stops, so does the monogamy.

Well - damn - plenty are still having sex at home. Many

Yeah, keep preaching that. It's a DCUM anthem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

I'm sure it was worth it to him. It's too bad he wasn't able to find that happiness with you and that you let a simple thing like sex destroy your otherwise blissful marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many married men cheat?

They don’t.
Where’s your data from? What is your data?

[Anonymous]

The greatest predictor of whether a man will cheat is opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The greatest predictor of whether a man will cheat is opportunity.

Ah yes, it’s all out of his control, it’s just opportunity presenting itself and VOILA! Cheating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

I'm sure it was worth it to him. It's too bad he wasn't able to find that happiness with you and that you let a simple thing like sex destroy your otherwise blissful marriage.

It’s the emotional bond felt with AP as well. Obviously new sex is tantalizing but affairs aren’t always just about sex. An EA that leads to a PA still has a huge emotional component. And no, I couldn’t generate that same emotional spark as AP did. I was in his eyes the mother of his kids, the person with whom he divvied up chores and appointments and endless tasks for the kids. By divorcing, ExH halfed his chores and responsibilities and got to date AP with no marriage responsibilities. It was the best of both worlds… reducing responsibilities, gaining more personal freedom, and dating a new person without having to negotiate with her the demands of child & family life. I guess there are always people here who blame the wife for the husband’s exit affair, and I understand that… but sometimes there’s just too many variables involved.

[Anonymous]

Why do so many married women cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many married men cheat?

Their wife doesn’t put out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

👀 you sound faultless

Underrated comment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think women cheat as much as men to be honest.

Always have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

👀 you sound faultless

Underrated comment

A struggling marriage or a partner's flaws are not justifications for infidelity; they are reasons to communicate, seek therapy, or separate, not to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

Mine also was banging much below their weight. Married, 50, no job, newer had a career, butter face, bod not great. Also- victimhood thing. He could feel superior and she could blow smoke up his @ss.

I wonder what the two marriages above had in common that women you both find much inferior to you in both looks and life in general were able to so easily steal your man. But we know, don't we? You both just choose to gloss over it or, if called out, are likely to lie. I can tell you, no man chooses a woman for sex who is less good looking than his current partner, unless the choice is, sex with this AP, or no sex with his better looking wife. If you really wanted to keep your man, you know how to do that. Every woman knows. Why all the shock and dismay when a man or woman in a sexless, or near sexless marriage makes that choice?

I’m not the PP, but my xH cheated with someone “inferior” in that she was broke and weighed about 200 pounds. Not saying either of those are bad, but they didn’t match what I believed to be his “type”.

Anyway, he’s the one who has zero interest in sex with me. He’d do it maybe once a month to shut me up. I’m very high drive and wanted it 2-3 times a week.

He’s just impulsive and does whatever he wants in the moment. He had some issues with addiction, ADHD, etc. Getting attention from another women who was impressed with him felt good, so he did it. Having a woman fawn over him felt better than the wife with a newborn who needed him to get off his phone and help out at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

Mine also was banging much below their weight. Married, 50, no job, newer had a career, butter face, bod not great. Also- victimhood thing. He could feel superior and she could blow smoke up his @ss.

I wonder what the two marriages above had in common that women you both find much inferior to you in both looks and life in general were able to so easily steal your man. But we know, don't we? You both just choose to gloss over it or, if called out, are likely to lie. I can tell you, no man chooses a woman for sex who is less good looking than his current partner, unless the choice is, sex with this AP, or no sex with his better looking wife. If you really wanted to keep your man, you know how to do that. Every woman knows. Why all the shock and dismay when a man or woman in a sexless, or near sexless marriage makes that choice?

I’m not the PP, but my xH cheated with someone “inferior” in that she was broke and weighed about 200 pounds. Not saying either of those are bad, but they didn’t match what I believed to be his “type”.

Anyway, he’s the one who has zero interest in sex with me. He’d do it maybe once a month to shut me up. I’m very high drive and wanted it 2-3 times a week.

He’s just impulsive and does whatever he wants in the moment. He had some issues with addiction, ADHD, etc. Getting attention from another women who was impressed with him felt good, so he did it. Having a woman fawn over him felt better than the wife with a newborn who needed him to get off his phone and help out at home.

Yep!!! Same experience here!!! The validation from cheating is more desirable than the work needed to maintain a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Umm pump and dump is not stealing. Lol
Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…

Mine also was banging much below their weight. Married, 50, no job, newer had a career, butter face, bod not great. Also- victimhood thing. He could feel superior and she could blow smoke up his @ss.

I wonder what the two marriages above had in common that women you both find much inferior to you in both looks and life in general were able to so easily steal your man. But we know, don't we? You both just choose to gloss over it or, if called out, are likely to lie. I can tell you, no man chooses a woman for sex who is less good looking than his current partner, unless the choice is, sex with this AP, or no sex with his better looking wife. If you really wanted to keep your man, you know how to do that. Every woman knows. Why all the shock and dismay when a man or woman in a sexless, or near sexless marriage makes that choice?