Reply to Why do so many married men cheat?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do so many married men cheat?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save  anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind. [/quote]
Cheating is wrong, no matter what. However I want to ask you if you contributed to his cheating by not having regular sex or becoming fat?[/quote]

He could have blamed me but his new partner is actually heavier than me. Someone mentioned CPTSD… she’s got CPTSD, he’s her rescuer, and apparently I’m the persecutor in the “victim triangle.” I actually used to think he’d leave me for a woman with a Johns Hopkins degree, thin, 28 min 5k kind of person. But his cheating typology falls into the victim-rescuer paradigm. Rescuing her gave him huge validation…[/quote]

👀 you sound faultless [/quote]

I’m not faultless. But I could not emotionally compete with a woman who experienced so much trauma that she needed a rescuer. He felt huge validation rescuing her, and I think that might explain why they are still together. I thought it would burn out. He felt insecurities & she validated him when she divorced her ex and said she’d wait “forever” because he’s “her person.” He saw me as the mother of his kids & less like this new person who was highly traumatized. Again, I thought the woman he’d leave me for is this accomplished Ivy leaguer who is 10 years younger and a GS-14 who goes on a daily lunch run. It’s hard to “compete” or keep up with youthful and fit. But his affair type was rescuer-victim. I have only met a handful of other women who went thru something similar. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics