Holiday visits - anyone else experience this with older parents?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like clear communication and some older people are not into texting and lots of verbiage.

[Anonymous]

I would make a call to each of the parents homes and say you’re looking forward to the visit that you would like to bring something non-perishable because you’re traveling and see what they’d like. This will give you an opportunity to get a feel for how they’re anticipating your visit

[Anonymous]

Does everyone have reading comprehension problems?
OP's mom was called and the mom was enthused. So the issue is not OP's folks.

OP is disappointed that her ILs only responded Yes to her DH's text.

OP, it is good they said yes but I agree, if it has been years since you visited for these holidays, it would have been nice if they sounded happier. Still, I would let it go and try to enjoy the moment when you have the visit. Imagine if these were the last 3 days you have with them, with your family with them, how would you like to spend those 3 days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone have reading comprehension problems?
OP's mom was called and the mom was enthused. So the issue is not OP's folks.

OP is disappointed that her ILs only responded Yes to her DH's text.

OP, it is good they said yes but I agree, if it has been years since you visited for these holidays, it would have been nice if they sounded happier. Still, I would let it go and try to enjoy the moment when you have the visit. Imagine if these were the last 3 days you have with them, with your family with them, how would you like to spend those 3 days?

You have reading comprehension problems. Here is the OP again:

"I call my parents to run dates by them. Mom’s response: we’ll be here, glad you’re coming, so I won’t have to mail presents.

Spouse texts his parents (preferred method of communication) with proposed dates, asks if those dates work. Response: yes.

Am I too sensitive? Would love some enthusiasm for our visit on either or both sides. I’m packing up small children and am embarking on a full day drive each way to share time with you. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Bah humbug!"

[Anonymous]

I wish I had your life.

You have no real problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You moved away and abandoned them. I don't blame them if they're a little off put.

I didn’t think it was possible for any of the responses to be as ridiculous as the OP, but you managed it. Brava!

[Anonymous]

Totally off base and too sensitive. I had to read it twice to even understand what you might have been upset about.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m coming on here a bit late but you sound exhausting. I don’t have a lot of words with text but it would not mean it wasn’t excited.

I would have either liked your post to acknowledge it or responded “great”. I don’t text in paragraphs and save that for the conversation

[Anonymous]

This is how my mom is. She is excited to see us, but doesn't really text and only wants to talk on the phone for 5-10 mins at a time before getting off to watch TV with her cat. I think some old people just get really tired and can't muster as much energy. Go do the visits and remember you can't control their reactions, but they are probably happy in their own way and your kids are hopefully making good memories. If they are cranky when you go, you can always shorten visits or just see one side at a time each year.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they got used to you not being around and this messes with their routines. You managed without them for years but expect them to be all excited and grateful for you showing up. Well saving postage makes up for some of the hassle your visit causes.

[Anonymous]

Do you usually text this kind of stuff with your parents? My parents are not emotional on text. If I call, they would be over the moon about us visiting and we would hear it. If I text, they would say, "Yes, Tuesday-Friday works. We look forward to it."