Do you think it is appropriate to invite not close family members to a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound like the people are "close" to the couple being married so no.

[Anonymous]

That's a tough one and I would say it's up to the groom if these folks get invited...BUT...I can tell you that wouldn't fly with my family.

I know, not my wedding, let them invite who they want. Been married now for 25 years.

Wedding expenses were split 3 ways with my folks pay 1/3, wife's folks paying 1/3 and us paying 1/3.

All Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and even kids of cousins were invited. Wife's dear grandma gave her a list of her nieces and nephews that she wanted to make sure were invited.

Overall, I think once the dust settled we had around 200 folks attend. Looking back on it, inviting those folks on Grandma's list was the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I’d feel a little ashamed if this is a wedding with some friends and some family. If it’s an elopement or just parents and siblings, it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you haven't clarified. Is this your son? Is he paying, or are you? If you are donating then yes, he should add a few more guests you request. If he and his wife are paying in full, they chose the guest list.

We had a crazy situation. We got married on our own because we have high drama families and DH's parent's divorce, even though it happened many years ago was a mess. My parents insisted on throwing a party a fancy gathering a year later. We didn't want i, but went along to get along. Since they were paying we let mom be in charge. She would not allow us to invite any friends, but then when declines started coming in she allowed some and then insisted we invite them because she decided it would look bad if we didn't have a few friends there. Then she kept having dramas over things like her decision not to allow kids, what photos she wanted from the photographer. It never ended. I wish we had said no to the party too. Nobody wants drama as part of celebrating their union.

My BIL is getting married so DH’s brother. Their parents are divorced and these are their parents’ closest relatives.

Seems like a bit of a stretch.

We invited them to our wedding. In fact, we were requested to change the date of the wedding for the out of country relatives.

Well they'll always remember how you invited and accomodated them. I would 100% stay out of this, if anyone is slightly justified in interfering it's your ILs since it's their kid getting married and their siblings being left out.

[Anonymous]

In my culture (Asian), it would be a major, pretty much unforgivable, slight to exclude such a close family member from an important life event when other close family members have been invited.

But OP, unless your opinion is being sought, I would stay out of your ILs’ business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it any of yours or you DH's business?

This.
MYOB OP

Not your wedding. Not your call to make.

Wow, people really encourage and support groomzilla and bridezilla behavior. There is no family drama and it is not a ton of people. Yes, he should allow it as a favor to his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not really surprised by many of the responses here but I strongly disagree. Weddings are about families, creating a new family, joining families, and welcoming a new person to each extended family. Unless there is a compelling reason for excluding them, include all four of them. We have had a couple of nieces and a nephew who left aunts and uncles off the guest list and it has caused really hard feelings. Unless, it's an extremely small wedding, I don't understand the thought- I don't want anyone who I don't know really well at my wedding. It's such a self centered take, get over yourself! Weddings should be a joyful celebration of your new life together. When have we as a society gotten so mentally ill that we can't tolerate unfamiliar people?

I have seen it work where it was a 10 person wedding. No hard feelings. But if you’re having a normal sized wedding and not inviting your parents immediate family? Yeah, so selfish. It will probably ruin their relationship for years, if not forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not really surprised by many of the responses here but I strongly disagree. Weddings are about families, creating a new family, joining families, and welcoming a new person to each extended family. Unless there is a compelling reason for excluding them, include all four of them. We have had a couple of nieces and a nephew who left aunts and uncles off the guest list and it has caused really hard feelings. Unless, it's an extremely small wedding, I don't understand the thought- I don't want anyone who I don't know really well at my wedding. It's such a self centered take, get over yourself! Weddings should be a joyful celebration of your new life together. When have we as a society gotten so mentally ill that we can't tolerate unfamiliar people?

I have seen it work where it was a 10 person wedding. No hard feelings. But if you’re having a normal sized wedding and not inviting your parents immediate family? Yeah, so selfish. It will probably ruin their relationship for years, if not forever.

Doesn't sound like they have a relationship to ruin so no loss there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not really surprised by many of the responses here but I strongly disagree. Weddings are about families, creating a new family, joining families, and welcoming a new person to each extended family. Unless there is a compelling reason for excluding them, include all four of them. We have had a couple of nieces and a nephew who left aunts and uncles off the guest list and it has caused really hard feelings. Unless, it's an extremely small wedding, I don't understand the thought- I don't want anyone who I don't know really well at my wedding. It's such a self centered take, get over yourself! Weddings should be a joyful celebration of your new life together. When have we as a society gotten so mentally ill that we can't tolerate unfamiliar people?

I have seen it work where it was a 10 person wedding. No hard feelings. But if you’re having a normal sized wedding and not inviting your parents immediate family? Yeah, so selfish. It will probably ruin their relationship for years, if not forever.

I do think it will shut the family door.

We all went to the cousin’s wedding together right before Covid.

We also aren’t close with the cousins. They live in a different state.