Do you think it is appropriate to invite not close family members to a wedding?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We have a very small family. Groom doesn’t want to invite his one uncle and one cousin in the US or aunt who lives in another country. This is mom’s only brother and dad’s only sister.
DH and I disagree on whether not close family should be invited just because they are family. There is no drama between groom and family members. |
Anonymous
| Is the from your adult child? Does he know these people? Who is paying for the wedding? What does his partner say how is his partner handling invitations on their side? |
Anonymous
| Why is it any of yours or you DH's business? |
Anonymous
Because it is our family! |
Anonymous
|
Yes my son is getting married it is his day we will not invite anyone he dies not want there
That includes my two sisters and a brother One sister is sick ie insane brother is a criminal who preys on the weak and my other sister has a trans daughter who she treats badly and us anti vax as my brother as well Nope no issues not inviting the garbage maga |
Anonymous
|
It is his wedding and if he isn't close to them and no one fostered a relationship with him when he was a child / teen, why would he invite them to his wedding? Sounds like they are strangers or acquaintances at best. A wedding should be a celebration with the people who care about you.
Being blood related on its own doesn't really mean anything. If these people were important to you, you would have worked to ensure he knew them well. It doesn't seem as though you included them in your lives as family while he was growin up so why would he do that now? |
Anonymous
| I think the bride and groom should get to decide who is invited to their wedding and shouldn't have to justify that to anyone besides each other. Full stop. |
Anonymous
The uncle and cousin who live in America were part of his life when he was a child. Groom moved away for college and lives in another city as an adult. The aunt and cousins in another country are essentially strangers. |
Anonymous
|
The bride should decide whom to invite from her family and groom should decide from his family.
I do feel bad for groom's parents though - seems like the default should be to invite aunts and uncles if there's no problems/drama between them, and totally understand why it's awkward for the parents for their siblings not to be invited. That sucks. |
Anonymous
Lady, you already had your wedding. This is your son’s choice not yours. |
Anonymous
|
It depends what his reasons are for not sending them an invitation: if he's trying to reduce costs, or he doesn't like them becayse of a specific cause, then those are valid reasons.
But if it's just because they were out of sight, out of mind, that's not cool. Not inviting family to a wedding is a big deal that most people remember for a long time. I know this from experience, not just in my family, but in my husband's family, and my friends' families. We are all from different cultures and ethnicities, which means that such a slight cuts across many countries and cultures. The groom feels self-sufficient now, but maybe he'll regret not have forged closer ties with his relatives at some point, especially if there are children in the mix. |
Anonymous
| I would invite them, it’s only a couple more people. Assuming you are helping to pay for the wedding. Weddings are rare occasions for families to gather, not always just about the couple. If it were a group of 20 I’d say no problem to exclude. |
Anonymous
|
How many people at the wedding? If it’s under 100, yeah, they might not make the cut.
If it’s like 300 people that’s harder to defend. |
Anonymous
PP to add - if you want to weigh in on the guest list, open your wallet. |
Anonymous
|
The groom is being a petty man. We are talking about two relatives in the US. The one in a different country might not want to make the trip.
The American ones could be given a chance to reconnect and establish an adult relationship with the groom. |