Is it ever ok to ghost?

[Anonymous]

It's immature unless in an bad/unhealthy situation.

[Anonymous]

If the person being ghosted is abusive it won’t obey boundaries, it’s perfectly ok.

[Anonymous]

I tried ghosting a woman who I was having casual sex with and it turned into a nightmare. She became a psycho and a stalker. So I am not ghosting anyone ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

DP. You're the exact kind of hysterical, aggressive person who necessitates ghosting. No one owes it to you to deal with your histrionics and name calling.

Aww, lil buddy... The "histrionics" is a movie quote from the same movie quoted by the pp, and calling an action cowardly isn't "name calling". Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. This game is not for you.

^^Again, this right here is why people ghost you. Life's too short to trade words with a prickly egomaniac.

Bro, nobody was talking to you. You can't "ghost" a relationship you were never even part of. You tried, though...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

You make a lot of assumptions, as evidenced in your reply. It's not disrespectful to have a different position. If you want to take that personally, you can. I am one of the pp's saying ghosting could be an acceptable strategy to escape violence or abuse. That's not the same as assuming your friend/partner/person you're in relationship to "can't handle" hearing some mysterious reason you're not willing to articulate. It doesn't need to be a confrontation unless you're confrontational. You can simple tell someone "Larla, I've really enjoyed our time together, but this relationship isn't what I need in my life right now. I wish you the best."

Despite being somewhat confrontational in your reply, I'd guess (based on not much) that you're actually conflict averse/avoidant, like most people who choose ghosting as a means of ending relationships/connections. To justify it, most people project the responsibility onto the other party. "Larla couldn't handle the truth, so I never told her." That's cowardice, and I stand by my point.

Whether or not people are "entitled to your time", self-respect says YOU'RE entitled to your time and your position. Communicating like an adult is for YOU. far more than the other party.

"You're chickenshit. You're going to use what happened today as an excuse to give up."

This. It allows the person to stop thinking about you. You don't need to go into an hour long discussion why. It just shows some minimal respect for the time they invested into the relationship.

Ok let me get this straight…whatever disrespectful or boundary crossing thing YOU did or said that causes me to ghost you. I now owe you closure so you can stop thinking about me? Really?…what keeps you from asking: “hey friend, is everything ok?…I noticed you are quiet lately, is there anything I did to upset you?” Is it because you know you are at fault and you don’t want to take accountability? Or are you ghosting them in kind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

You make a lot of assumptions, as evidenced in your reply. It's not disrespectful to have a different position. If you want to take that personally, you can. I am one of the pp's saying ghosting could be an acceptable strategy to escape violence or abuse. That's not the same as assuming your friend/partner/person you're in relationship to "can't handle" hearing some mysterious reason you're not willing to articulate. It doesn't need to be a confrontation unless you're confrontational. You can simple tell someone "Larla, I've really enjoyed our time together, but this relationship isn't what I need in my life right now. I wish you the best."

Despite being somewhat confrontational in your reply, I'd guess (based on not much) that you're actually conflict averse/avoidant, like most people who choose ghosting as a means of ending relationships/connections. To justify it, most people project the responsibility onto the other party. "Larla couldn't handle the truth, so I never told her." That's cowardice, and I stand by my point.

Whether or not people are "entitled to your time", self-respect says YOU'RE entitled to your time and your position. Communicating like an adult is for YOU. far more than the other party.

"You're chickenshit. You're going to use what happened today as an excuse to give up."

This. It allows the person to stop thinking about you. You don't need to go into an hour long discussion why. It just shows some minimal respect for the time they invested into the relationship.

Ok let me get this straight…whatever disrespectful or boundary crossing thing YOU did or said that causes me to ghost you. I now owe you closure so you can stop thinking about me? Really?…what keeps you from asking: “hey friend, is everything ok?…I noticed you are quiet lately, is there anything I did to upset you?” Is it because you know you are at fault and you don’t want to take accountability? Or are you ghosting them in kind?

Yes, Capt. Immaturity, that's how it's supposed to work. Instead of assuming that everyone understands your unspoken boundaries, and/or owes you respect, when you feel disrespected or like your lines have been crossed, you're supposed to communicate your feelings like an adult. Not tuck tail and run like a scared child, and then go stew bitterly about it and talk trash behind someone's back that you lacked the courage to say to their face. That's the difference between adults and middle schoolers. Please grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

You make a lot of assumptions, as evidenced in your reply. It's not disrespectful to have a different position. If you want to take that personally, you can. I am one of the pp's saying ghosting could be an acceptable strategy to escape violence or abuse. That's not the same as assuming your friend/partner/person you're in relationship to "can't handle" hearing some mysterious reason you're not willing to articulate. It doesn't need to be a confrontation unless you're confrontational. You can simple tell someone "Larla, I've really enjoyed our time together, but this relationship isn't what I need in my life right now. I wish you the best."

Despite being somewhat confrontational in your reply, I'd guess (based on not much) that you're actually conflict averse/avoidant, like most people who choose ghosting as a means of ending relationships/connections. To justify it, most people project the responsibility onto the other party. "Larla couldn't handle the truth, so I never told her." That's cowardice, and I stand by my point.

Whether or not people are "entitled to your time", self-respect says YOU'RE entitled to your time and your position. Communicating like an adult is for YOU. far more than the other party.

"You're chickenshit. You're going to use what happened today as an excuse to give up."

This. It allows the person to stop thinking about you. You don't need to go into an hour long discussion why. It just shows some minimal respect for the time they invested into the relationship.

Ok let me get this straight…whatever disrespectful or boundary crossing thing YOU did or said that causes me to ghost you. I now owe you closure so you can stop thinking about me? Really?…what keeps you from asking: “hey friend, is everything ok?…I noticed you are quiet lately, is there anything I did to upset you?” Is it because you know you are at fault and you don’t want to take accountability? Or are you ghosting them in kind?

Yes, Capt. Immaturity, that's how it's supposed to work. Instead of assuming that everyone understands your unspoken boundaries, and/or owes you respect, when you feel disrespected or like your lines have been crossed, you're supposed to communicate your feelings like an adult. Not tuck tail and run like a scared child, and then go stew bitterly about it and talk trash behind someone's back that you lacked the courage to say to their face. That's the difference between adults and middle schoolers. Please grow up.

Every comment you make includes new insults and I am the immature one who needs to grow up? You might as well be on a kindergarten playground. And you make a ton of assumptions and hypocritical statements. Who says the ghoster is stewing bitterly or talks trash? Project much?…When I ghost I sleep very well at night, finally. Why? because the trash has been taken out and it’s on the way to the landfill.
Who hurt you PP? You are so mad. Does it make you feel in control to have a tantrum on an anonymous board instead of directing all that negativity towards the people that ghosted you? I keep asking questions that you never answer, PP. You just keep deflecting and spewing the same rhetoric over and over. I must have hit a nerve…So let me respond the way you want me to, to your next response: I know you are, but what am I?

[Anonymous]

It is okay to ghost someone is you are a coward and know that you have no morals because you cheated on the person you ghosted. You are ashamed and embarrassed because of your low behavior. You know you are not good enough for this person so you ghost them.

[Anonymous]

50 ways to leave your lover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

You make a lot of assumptions, as evidenced in your reply. It's not disrespectful to have a different position. If you want to take that personally, you can. I am one of the pp's saying ghosting could be an acceptable strategy to escape violence or abuse. That's not the same as assuming your friend/partner/person you're in relationship to "can't handle" hearing some mysterious reason you're not willing to articulate. It doesn't need to be a confrontation unless you're confrontational. You can simple tell someone "Larla, I've really enjoyed our time together, but this relationship isn't what I need in my life right now. I wish you the best."

Despite being somewhat confrontational in your reply, I'd guess (based on not much) that you're actually conflict averse/avoidant, like most people who choose ghosting as a means of ending relationships/connections. To justify it, most people project the responsibility onto the other party. "Larla couldn't handle the truth, so I never told her." That's cowardice, and I stand by my point.

Whether or not people are "entitled to your time", self-respect says YOU'RE entitled to your time and your position. Communicating like an adult is for YOU. far more than the other party.

"You're chickenshit. You're going to use what happened today as an excuse to give up."

This. It allows the person to stop thinking about you. You don't need to go into an hour long discussion why. It just shows some minimal respect for the time they invested into the relationship.

Ok let me get this straight…whatever disrespectful or boundary crossing thing YOU did or said that causes me to ghost you. I now owe you closure so you can stop thinking about me? Really?…what keeps you from asking: “hey friend, is everything ok?…I noticed you are quiet lately, is there anything I did to upset you?” Is it because you know you are at fault and you don’t want to take accountability? Or are you ghosting them in kind?

Yes, Capt. Immaturity, that's how it's supposed to work. Instead of assuming that everyone understands your unspoken boundaries, and/or owes you respect, when you feel disrespected or like your lines have been crossed, you're supposed to communicate your feelings like an adult. Not tuck tail and run like a scared child, and then go stew bitterly about it and talk trash behind someone's back that you lacked the courage to say to their face. That's the difference between adults and middle schoolers. Please grow up.

Every comment you make includes new insults and I am the immature one who needs to grow up? You might as well be on a kindergarten playground. And you make a ton of assumptions and hypocritical statements. Who says the ghoster is stewing bitterly or talks trash? Project much?…When I ghost I sleep very well at night, finally. Why? because the trash has been taken out and it’s on the way to the landfill.
Who hurt you PP? You are so mad. Does it make you feel in control to have a tantrum on an anonymous board instead of directing all that negativity towards the people that ghosted you? I keep asking questions that you never answer, PP. You just keep deflecting and spewing the same rhetoric over and over. I must have hit a nerve…So let me respond the way you want me to, to your next response: I know you are, but what am I?

Why were you hanging out with/friends with/fscking "the trash"? What an odd thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

You make a lot of assumptions, as evidenced in your reply. It's not disrespectful to have a different position. If you want to take that personally, you can. I am one of the pp's saying ghosting could be an acceptable strategy to escape violence or abuse. That's not the same as assuming your friend/partner/person you're in relationship to "can't handle" hearing some mysterious reason you're not willing to articulate. It doesn't need to be a confrontation unless you're confrontational. You can simple tell someone "Larla, I've really enjoyed our time together, but this relationship isn't what I need in my life right now. I wish you the best."

Despite being somewhat confrontational in your reply, I'd guess (based on not much) that you're actually conflict averse/avoidant, like most people who choose ghosting as a means of ending relationships/connections. To justify it, most people project the responsibility onto the other party. "Larla couldn't handle the truth, so I never told her." That's cowardice, and I stand by my point.

Whether or not people are "entitled to your time", self-respect says YOU'RE entitled to your time and your position. Communicating like an adult is for YOU. far more than the other party.

"You're chickenshit. You're going to use what happened today as an excuse to give up."

This. It allows the person to stop thinking about you. You don't need to go into an hour long discussion why. It just shows some minimal respect for the time they invested into the relationship.

Ok let me get this straight…whatever disrespectful or boundary crossing thing YOU did or said that causes me to ghost you. I now owe you closure so you can stop thinking about me? Really?…what keeps you from asking: “hey friend, is everything ok?…I noticed you are quiet lately, is there anything I did to upset you?” Is it because you know you are at fault and you don’t want to take accountability? Or are you ghosting them in kind?

Yes, Capt. Immaturity, that's how it's supposed to work. Instead of assuming that everyone understands your unspoken boundaries, and/or owes you respect, when you feel disrespected or like your lines have been crossed, you're supposed to communicate your feelings like an adult. Not tuck tail and run like a scared child, and then go stew bitterly about it and talk trash behind someone's back that you lacked the courage to say to their face. That's the difference between adults and middle schoolers. Please grow up.

Every comment you make includes new insults and I am the immature one who needs to grow up? You might as well be on a kindergarten playground. And you make a ton of assumptions and hypocritical statements. Who says the ghoster is stewing bitterly or talks trash? Project much?…When I ghost I sleep very well at night, finally. Why? because the trash has been taken out and it’s on the way to the landfill.
Who hurt you PP? You are so mad. Does it make you feel in control to have a tantrum on an anonymous board instead of directing all that negativity towards the people that ghosted you? I keep asking questions that you never answer, PP. You just keep deflecting and spewing the same rhetoric over and over. I must have hit a nerve…So let me respond the way you want me to, to your next response: I know you are, but what am I?

Wow, lil buddy! Way to prove the point. For someone who claims to sleep well, you sure seem het up. Calling the people you ghosted "trash" is wild. PP above has a solid point (why were you in relationship to "the trash" in the first place), but also, your need to devalue and dismiss these people doesn't make you look like the sort of person who has healthy relationships.

Of course, one need look no further than the way you posted at a stranger to see the exact same information. It's like you want to hit a nerve, you need people to be upset with you. If they're not, do you matter at all?

Probably not.

[Anonymous]

Ghosting isn’t going incommunicado with a verbally abusive casual hook up-why are some posters acting like it is?

If you have been friends or gone on multiple dates with someone (but secretly thought they were annoying or abrasive) you need to grow up and close the loop/not ghost!

If you’ve let someone down easy/broken up multiple times with someone or they are are a scary psychopath, by all means ghost!

But ghosting someone you have some type of social contract with wiyh no warning is immature and lame.