Is it ever ok to ghost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abuse, unsafe situations.

Otherwise it's cruel and cowardly and making society worse.

Agreed. Ghosting is a dick move, and should be used as a last resort when escaping a dangerous situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once got a woman to ghost me by telling her I'd quit my job and was trying to figure out what to do with my life.

Smart.

I think the ideal way is to convince the other person to ghost you. Way less messy.

Yes, this is the way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Getting ghosted by a friend in my opinion is more hurtful and cruel than by someone romantic. And so unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

There's literally no point in "having it out" with someone, as it will result in nothing but broken promises and them begging to stay in your life. Nobody handle those things well.

That said, I've only ever ghosted when I truly feared someone. Otherwise, I just grey rock them until the get bored/frustrated and stop reaching out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Getting ghosted by a friend in my opinion is more hurtful and cruel than by someone romantic. And so unnecessary.

PP here! Thank you! I feel that friendship break-ups are often overlooked and not viewed as being as painful as romantic break-ups. I'm mostly over it now but it was brutal when it first happened.

[Anonymous]

I ghosted a friend without explanation. She was pushing boundaries and any conversation about that was met with gaslighting or pouting. She also had become an alcoholic, functional but emotionally murky. A healthy goodbye was impossible.

It was such a relief to be rid of her baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ghosted a friend without explanation. She was pushing boundaries and any conversation about that was met with gaslighting or pouting. She also had become an alcoholic, functional but emotionally murky. A healthy goodbye was impossible.

It was such a relief to be rid of her baggage.

I'm sure she felt similarly. Anybody who believes in these one-sided conflicts lacks maturity and self-awareness. I'm sure you were perfect and she was the entire problem tho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once got a woman to ghost me by telling her I'd quit my job and was trying to figure out what to do with my life.

Smart.

I think the ideal way is to convince the other person to ghost you. Way less messy.

This is textbook manipulations. What is wrong with you people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the relationship has been short/relatively casual and you know the person is going to have a serious problem with you moving on. I get why it isn't cool to ghost people, but I also get why some people don't want to deal with the other person's drama and therefor ghost.

This is what’s wrong with society today. “Dealing with another person’s drama” is kind of a cornerstone of relationships. I hate all of the apologism for ghosting. People need to be able to have uncomfortable conversations with others. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

Even though we disagree I still get where you are coming from and I understand your opinion (and the end of your reply made me laugh out loud). But you notice how you totally disregard and disrespect mine and other PPs that agree with the various reasons for ghosting someone? Thank you for proving the point. Why confront someone who refuses to understand and only sees their own perspective? What is to be gained from that?

With an increasing mental health crisis in the US, I think it is better to lower the temperature and let everyone involved have a moment of silence. What is wrong with that? Are people just entitled to your time just because they are ready to engage you?

Checking in from the mental health field in to say ghosting for reasons of avoiding fleeting discomfort or awkwardness is messed up and dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

DP. You're the exact kind of hysterical, aggressive person who necessitates ghosting. No one owes it to you to deal with your histrionics and name calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it is not! I got ghosted back in February by someone who I had been friends with for 16 years! We even lived together for three years in college. Sometimes, I still wonder what the f*** happened. I wish she had told me why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'd rather hear harsh words than be left wondering.

Then you can handle the truth. Tom Cruise and so many others cannot. And quite frankly when you know you don’t want to move forward with the person what is the point of airing it out and resolving it? Is everything going to just go back to old times? Think about that…Maybe for them, but not for you…you will most likely remain bothered by whatever it is. Some things are better left unsaid. Sounds dysfunctional, but true in some cases.

Nope. Still cowardly. Blaming other people's alleged inability to "handle the truth" for your inability to stand ten down and speak it is immature af.

(and "you're goddamn right I did!!!")

DP. You're the exact kind of hysterical, aggressive person who necessitates ghosting. No one owes it to you to deal with your histrionics and name calling.

Wow not the person you are replying to but thank you for this glimpse into the janky reality of a foster-I genuinely pity you. Cheers!