If you moved to the suburbs to raise a family…

[Anonymous]

I must moved back to the city and it was worth it for me. I didn't enjoy the suburbs. I missed being able to walk everywhere and good food and culture. Your kids will get over it and have more opportunities in the city too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

Well, the idea that people would prefer to hole up and rattle around in a big empty house and live off of fading memories in a boring suburb while they wait to shrivel up and die and hope that their kids and hypothetical grandkids visit once or twice a year doesn't sound real appealing to many of us either.

That's a pretty sad view and not really reality for anyone who actually enjoys their house and town regardless of kids.

They "enjoy" their house and suburban "town" because they're stuck in their ways and afraid to try something new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must moved back to the city and it was worth it for me. I didn't enjoy the suburbs. I missed being able to walk everywhere and good food and culture. Your kids will get over it and have more opportunities in the city too.

+100

it's life changing and life SAVING

[Anonymous]

NP Seeing cities as for the young and trendy and worrying about traffic and parking is definitely spoken by someone who doesn’t understand the city and certainly wasn’t raised there. And that’s fine. People are different and you certainly don’t have to like the city. I am glad the other PP loves where she lives.

However, this conversation highlights why living in the suburbs can feel like a slow death to someone from the city. It’s like the mindsets and ways of life are from different planets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must moved back to the city and it was worth it for me. I didn't enjoy the suburbs. I missed being able to walk everywhere and good food and culture. Your kids will get over it and have more opportunities in the city too.

What drove your decision? How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must moved back to the city and it was worth it for me. I didn't enjoy the suburbs. I missed being able to walk everywhere and good food and culture. Your kids will get over it and have more opportunities in the city too.

What city did you move to? I would love a City where I can walk everywhere, eat good food and enjoy some culture...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

Well, the idea that people would prefer to hole up and rattle around in a big empty house and live off of fading memories in a boring suburb while they wait to shrivel up and die and hope that their kids and hypothetical grandkids visit once or twice a year doesn't sound real appealing to many of us either.

That's a pretty sad view and not really reality for anyone who actually enjoys their house and town regardless of kids.

They "enjoy" their house and suburban "town" because they're stuck in their ways and afraid to try something new.

There's nothing groundbreaking and brave about city living v. burb or country living. And it's not exactly new if you lived there before anyway. Many people move to all sorts of new places in older age for a change, not necessarily cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP Seeing cities as for the young and trendy and worrying about traffic and parking is definitely spoken by someone who doesn’t understand the city and certainly wasn’t raised there. And that’s fine. People are different and you certainly don’t have to like the city. I am glad the other PP loves where she lives.

However, this conversation highlights why living in the suburbs can feel like a slow death to someone from the city. It’s like the mindsets and ways of life are from different planets.

The suburbs are the worst of all worlds. They're designed for one thing, and one thing only: raising kids. Without kids I'd live anywhere else -- rural, beach, city, hell, you name it -- first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

Well, the idea that people would prefer to hole up and rattle around in a big empty house and live off of fading memories in a boring suburb while they wait to shrivel up and die and hope that their kids and hypothetical grandkids visit once or twice a year doesn't sound real appealing to many of us either.

That's a pretty sad view and not really reality for anyone who actually enjoys their house and town regardless of kids.

They "enjoy" their house and suburban "town" because they're stuck in their ways and afraid to try something new.

There's nothing groundbreaking and brave about city living v. burb or country living. And it's not exactly new if you lived there before anyway. Many people move to all sorts of new places in older age for a change, not necessarily cities.

And some don't budge from their boring suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be nice if you looked at it as you would be giving another family a chance to raise a family there if you put it up for sale. I am surprised with our housing shortage in this area how many empty nesters are hanging on to these large houses that they can't possibly use or want to continue to maintain. Go do what you want! Embrace your new stage.

What a lovely perspective!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I must moved back to the city and it was worth it for me. I didn't enjoy the suburbs. I missed being able to walk everywhere and good food and culture. Your kids will get over it and have more opportunities in the city too.

What city did you move to? I would love a City where I can walk everywhere, eat good food and enjoy some culture...

This is still a DC forum . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP Seeing cities as for the young and trendy and worrying about traffic and parking is definitely spoken by someone who doesn’t understand the city and certainly wasn’t raised there. And that’s fine. People are different and you certainly don’t have to like the city. I am glad the other PP loves where she lives.

However, this conversation highlights why living in the suburbs can feel like a slow death to someone from the city. It’s like the mindsets and ways of life are from different planets.

The suburbs are the worst of all worlds. They're designed for one thing, and one thing only: raising kids. Without kids I'd live anywhere else -- rural, beach, city, hell, you name it -- first.

LOL. Agreed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. We made the move to downtown when our youngest was a year or two into college. They laid a major guilt trip on us at first, but when it started to work with my spouse I put my foot down and let them know in no uncertain terms that it was our time now and they needed to get with the program and they did.

Fast forward more than a decade and it's as if we never lived in the 'burbs. We love it here and so do our now adult children. We're very happy with our decision.

A few posters are saying that the "close in suburbs" are just as good. Nope. They're still the 'burbs and throwing in a few extra shops and restaurants doesn't really change the vibe or add any real excitement and vigor to the change. If you're going to make the change -- and you really should -- you should dive all the way in.

Downtown as in DC? Aren't you worried about traffic, parking, safety, etc?

I would like to move out the suburbs to "City life" but I don't think DC would ever be our place to retire even though my husband works in DC and I work in Alexandria. (Yes, we both commute 1hr+ to work daily)

Take my perspective with a grain of salt as we've remained living in the city even with kids so I have an obvious bias, but no, traffic and parking are not a huge deal. At least not more than outside of the city. At least here we have multiple transport options if car centric travel is problematic for whatever reason. Also, consider that being in the city could actually be helpful if your driving ability diminishes with age or disability. If you live in the suburbs where everything requires a car to access, you could wind up very isolated if you become unable to drive. Or, what happens in an unfortunate number of cases, drivers who SHOULD have hung it up refuse to because they (correctly) feel that they won't be able to be independent anymore in accessing anything outside of the home.

[Anonymous]

It's seems odd that some posters think there's a "right answer" here when there are so many variables, including just these few:

Where in the suburbs are we talking about? In the DMV there are big differences between, say, Lyon Village in Arlington, Reston, and Herndon. Those differences include walkability, access to public transit and bike trails, driving distance to "city" (this also needs to be defined).

Does your city offer a mix of restaurants you like, theaters or places to hear music that you enjoy?

How long have you lived in your suburb? Are you friends with neighbors? Do you participate in community activities there that you enjoy and find meaningful and would miss if you moved to the city?

Do you use and enjoy rec facilities in your suburb? Would you be able to find affordable and accessible substitutes for these facilities in the city?

Do you want to have extra space in your home for an office (e.g., if you're doing consulting work), or hobby?

Do you like gardening and enjoy your yard, porch, patio, etc?

Do you have a dog and want to be able to walk the dog?

Do you enjoy hosting your adult kids, grandchildren, and extended family and friends from out of town?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's seems odd that some posters think there's a "right answer" here when there are so many variables, including just these few:

Where in the suburbs are we talking about? In the DMV there are big differences between, say, Lyon Village in Arlington, Reston, and Herndon. Those differences include walkability, access to public transit and bike trails, driving distance to "city" (this also needs to be defined).

Does your city offer a mix of restaurants you like, theaters or places to hear music that you enjoy?

How long have you lived in your suburb? Are you friends with neighbors? Do you participate in community activities there that you enjoy and find meaningful and would miss if you moved to the city?

Do you use and enjoy rec facilities in your suburb? Would you be able to find affordable and accessible substitutes for these facilities in the city?

Do you want to have extra space in your home for an office (e.g., if you're doing consulting work), or hobby?

Do you like gardening and enjoy your yard, porch, patio, etc?

Do you have a dog and want to be able to walk the dog?

Do you enjoy hosting your adult kids, grandchildren, and extended family and friends from out of town?

The only place in the DMV outside of DC itself that comes close to qualifying as "city" living is Old Town Alexandria. Lyon Village is not the city.