If you moved to the suburbs to raise a family…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what you mean by suburb. I’m on the cusp of empty nesting in a close-in suburb with lots going on and a metro close by, and it seems like a better long run situation than a small condo on the city.

Have similar set up as pp, and plan on staying while I work. Once I retire, I’d like to move to a lower cost area, but would like to stay in a single home as opposed to living on a condo or townhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

OP here. A few years ago, I could have written that verbatim. I made the transition surprisingly well and I honestly thought the sentiment you describe above was my forever stance. The suburbs were so quaint and so well suited for families with young children, people were nice, and we made good friends. And as a city kid myself (massive city and not DC), the burbs were honestly quite novel to me and that actually made it exciting.

Even when I was all in, I always said I could never live here single and in my 20s, but I saw that as a closed chapter. I didn’t really think about it sort of coming around again.

Still married, still a mom. Love my family to no end. But things are changing and without kids at the center of life, this place doesn’t seem to make sense to me anymore.

But yes, the house, the memories, our kids for whom this is home, the youngest who was born here and who doesn’t want to go far for college…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is there to stay for?

For me? Nothing. But for my kids, this is home so there’s some sadness/guilt around that for me.

It’s not like they’re going to move back in with you, except maybe temporarily. We are getting ready to sell our suburban house where our kids grew up and I have no sadness or guilt. We had a great life here but it was simply a great place to raise kids, not a great place for post kid life.

100% agree and your clarity without guilt is inspiring!

[Anonymous]

If you move to a small condo, it becomes a pain for kids to visit you and they likely will not visit as much if they move away. It also means you can't have grandkids over as easily if you have no second bedroom. May not matter to everyone but a factor to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

OP here. A few years ago, I could have written that verbatim. I made the transition surprisingly well and I honestly thought the sentiment you describe above was my forever stance. The suburbs were so quaint and so well suited for families with young children, people were nice, and we made good friends. And as a city kid myself (massive city and not DC), the burbs were honestly quite novel to me and that actually made it exciting.

Even when I was all in, I always said I could never live here single and in my 20s, but I saw that as a closed chapter. I didn’t really think about it sort of coming around again.

Still married, still a mom. Love my family to no end. But things are changing and without kids at the center of life, this place doesn’t seem to make sense to me anymore.

But yes, the house, the memories, our kids for whom this is home, the youngest who was born here and who doesn’t want to go far for college…

Maybe the biggest factor is that you said you were a city kid you prefer cities. We just don’t have the desire to live in the city again. We have been empty nesters for a few years and we love our suburban home and neighborhood every bit as much as we did when our kids were younger. We chose a location and house we like, independent of our kids. Barring a relocation elsewhere, still not to a city, I don’t see us leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

For me, it would depend on how many years I planned to work once my kids were in college. I'll be 55 when my last child goes to college and I hope to retire by 62 so it wouldn't be worth it. But I have no desire to live in a city in retirement--I want to be close to the beach.

I also want to live in a house large enough for my kids to come home to after college and, if they want to, live there while they establish their career. My parents did this and I really appreciated having a place to live for free in an area that had a lot of job opportunities. Then again, my parents had kids a lot younger than I did so they still had 20 years left to work after I graduated college. If they were retirement age, it may have been a different story.

[Anonymous]

I suspect the posters who talk about staying are those who grew up in the suburbs. OP asked to hear from people who themselves were raised in cities. Like, “Fairfax is a city” is most definitely not written by a city person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. We made the move to downtown when our youngest was a year or two into college. They laid a major guilt trip on us at first, but when it started to work with my spouse I put my foot down and let them know in no uncertain terms that it was our time now and they needed to get with the program and they did.

Fast forward more than a decade and it's as if we never lived in the 'burbs. We love it here and so do our now adult children. We're very happy with our decision.

A few posters are saying that the "close in suburbs" are just as good. Nope. They're still the 'burbs and throwing in a few extra shops and restaurants doesn't really change the vibe or add any real excitement and vigor to the change. If you're going to make the change -- and you really should -- you should dive all the way in.

Downtown as in DC? Aren't you worried about traffic, parking, safety, etc?

I would like to move out the suburbs to "City life" but I don't think DC would ever be our place to retire even though my husband works in DC and I work in Alexandria. (Yes, we both commute 1hr+ to work daily)

LOL are you serious?

Why would we care about traffic and parking? Those are commuter and visitor concerns. As for "safety," I got news for you: hundreds of thousands of people manage to live in DC perfectly safely. We've been here for going on 15 years without a single "safety" issue whatsoever. Not one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. We made the move to downtown when our youngest was a year or two into college. They laid a major guilt trip on us at first, but when it started to work with my spouse I put my foot down and let them know in no uncertain terms that it was our time now and they needed to get with the program and they did.

Fast forward more than a decade and it's as if we never lived in the 'burbs. We love it here and so do our now adult children. We're very happy with our decision.

A few posters are saying that the "close in suburbs" are just as good. Nope. They're still the 'burbs and throwing in a few extra shops and restaurants doesn't really change the vibe or add any real excitement and vigor to the change. If you're going to make the change -- and you really should -- you should dive all the way in.

Downtown as in DC? Aren't you worried about traffic, parking, safety, etc?

I would like to move out the suburbs to "City life" but I don't think DC would ever be our place to retire even though my husband works in DC and I work in Alexandria. (Yes, we both commute 1hr+ to work daily)

LOL are you serious?

Why would we care about traffic and parking? Those are commuter and visitor concerns. As for "safety," I got news for you: hundreds of thousands of people manage to live in DC perfectly safely. We've been here for going on 15 years without a single "safety" issue whatsoever. Not one.

NP-Why are you so defensive? It's fine and great if you enjoy city living. Not everyone has to think and behave the way you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

Well, the idea that people would prefer to hole up and rattle around in a big empty house and live off of fading memories in a boring suburb while they wait to shrivel up and die and hope that their kids and hypothetical grandkids visit once or twice a year doesn't sound real appealing to many of us either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you move to a small condo, it becomes a pain for kids to visit you and they likely will not visit as much if they move away. It also means you can't have grandkids over as easily if you have no second bedroom. May not matter to everyone but a factor to consider.

why does it have to be a teeny tiny one bedroom condo? is this a NYC forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. We made the move to downtown when our youngest was a year or two into college. They laid a major guilt trip on us at first, but when it started to work with my spouse I put my foot down and let them know in no uncertain terms that it was our time now and they needed to get with the program and they did.

Fast forward more than a decade and it's as if we never lived in the 'burbs. We love it here and so do our now adult children. We're very happy with our decision.

A few posters are saying that the "close in suburbs" are just as good. Nope. They're still the 'burbs and throwing in a few extra shops and restaurants doesn't really change the vibe or add any real excitement and vigor to the change. If you're going to make the change -- and you really should -- you should dive all the way in.

Downtown as in DC? Aren't you worried about traffic, parking, safety, etc?

I would like to move out the suburbs to "City life" but I don't think DC would ever be our place to retire even though my husband works in DC and I work in Alexandria. (Yes, we both commute 1hr+ to work daily)

LOL are you serious?

Why would we care about traffic and parking? Those are commuter and visitor concerns. As for "safety," I got news for you: hundreds of thousands of people manage to live in DC perfectly safely. We've been here for going on 15 years without a single "safety" issue whatsoever. Not one.

NP-Why are you so defensive? It's fine and great if you enjoy city living. Not everyone has to think and behave the way you do.

I'm not being "defensive" in the slightest. It's just a really stupid question: what about traffic and parking??? If you LIVE in the cities those aren't issues. It's laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We must be outliers because we have realized we love our suburban life and quiet neighborhood. We aren’t out and about like we were before kids so we really enjoy our home, our yard, the trails and general peace and quiet of our neighborhood. If we want to go into DC for dinner or to see a show we go. But have no interest in living near bars and coffee shops filled with younger people or the density that city life brings.

So for us the answer is no. But from the responses it seems like we are in the minority.

The youth keep you young.

NP-I feel the opposite, like I am over a lot of the "young" scene, what's trendy, what's in, packed restaurants. I find that it highlights my mindset shift to what's quiet, enduring.

This is because you don't live in the city. If you live in the city you don't have to go to a "packed" restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night, for example. You can go anytime.

The idea that the city is overrun with young people going crazy and elbowing you out of the way is ridiculous.

The idea that everyone wants to live in the city is also ridiculous.

Well, the idea that people would prefer to hole up and rattle around in a big empty house and live off of fading memories in a boring suburb while they wait to shrivel up and die and hope that their kids and hypothetical grandkids visit once or twice a year doesn't sound real appealing to many of us either.

That's a pretty sad view and not really reality for anyone who actually enjoys their house and town regardless of kids.