Gonzaga, Georgetown Prep, Langdon, Saint Anslems, St. Albans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS.

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly.

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it.
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships.

So if you don’t run a 4.3 40yd dash or have a wicked jump shot, you will have a hard time as a minority.

but your photo will be featured in glossy admissions brochures and in the annual report!

Yes, you very well may be one of the most popular photo op stars in the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS.

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly.

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it.
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships.

NP. Agree class and clubs are important. They may be "friends" with the black kids and lower class kids but no they are not flying to Nantucket with them or golfing with them. Very white wealthy experiences that your kid will be left out of. Family gatherings at the Met Club and Chevy and Congo happen often and you won't be part of that either. It does affect the kids left out.

welcome to the real world. not everyone is included in everything.

Most of the white students aren’t invited to these either. Get a grip, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS.

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly.

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it.
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships.

NP. Agree class and clubs are important. They may be "friends" with the black kids and lower class kids but no they are not flying to Nantucket with them or golfing with them. Very white wealthy experiences that your kid will be left out of. Family gatherings at the Met Club and Chevy and Congo happen often and you won't be part of that either. It does affect the kids left out.

You will get the same level of academic rigor and strong friendships for life at the Abbey. We know both schools well as well as the entire big three scene plus others like Landon via extended family. Minus on the Abbey side is less sports culture if this is important to your child. (We view this as a plus, though) and much, much, much less materialistic BS (a huge plus for us, and a major draw for us to this school over STA and others.) This means there is so much more social cohesion. We drive a 10 year old modest car to dropoff and don't feel out of place. We are so happy that our child can get a great education without the wealth/class baggage on offer elsewhere.

We have not found the Abbey to be a place with hostile attitudes towards anyone. Our child's class is majority students of color and the atmosphere is positive and supportive for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS.

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly.

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it.
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships.

NP. Agree class and clubs are important. They may be "friends" with the black kids and lower class kids but no they are not flying to Nantucket with them or golfing with them. Very white wealthy experiences that your kid will be left out of. Family gatherings at the Met Club and Chevy and Congo happen often and you won't be part of that either. It does affect the kids left out.

You will get the same level of academic rigor and strong friendships for life at the Abbey. We know both schools well as well as the entire big three scene plus others like Landon via extended family. Minus on the Abbey side is less sports culture if this is important to your child. (We view this as a plus, though) and much, much, much less materialistic BS (a huge plus for us, and a major draw for us to this school over STA and others.) This means there is so much more social cohesion. We drive a 10 year old modest car to dropoff and don't feel out of place. We are so happy that our child can get a great education without the wealth/class baggage on offer elsewhere.

We have not found the Abbey to be a place with hostile attitudes towards anyone. Our child's class is majority students of color and the atmosphere is positive and supportive for everyone.

OP here - thanks for providing your perspective on the Abbey. How many classes are there per grade in highschool (or is that not really a thing to separate by class/homeroom)? I ask since you mentioned that your son's class was majority students of color. I'm pleasantly surprised to hear that. Do you find that the students of color mingle uniformly or self-segregate into their different groups? I don't have a judgment about it either way, I'm just curious?

Additionally, I've heard that all Abbey classes are taught at the AP level. Is this true? I'm a little concerned about that as in my mind, I equate that to mean that every class a student takes there is proceeding at a very rapid pace, which may impact depth of understanding for those who maybe can't keep up if every class is taught at a fast pace.

Finally, I believe that the Abbey high school class size is smaller than the other schools I listed for highschool. Have you found it to be too small for your son? Is this something he has voiced (perhaps if he started in middle school)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA is run by CCC and Congo members. Big emphasis on status and wealth among parents though it varies by grade. Some forms have down to earth parents. Others might have a heavy concentration of the 4 Cs. We had boys in 2 forms and parent culture was night and day.

Different with the boys. You have some privileged white kids but they are kept in check for the most part because the culture among the boys values in this order 1) athletic prowess, 2) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.

Not gonna lie. Black and Asian boys will hear stupid stuff and be on the receiving end of micro aggressions.School is not great at acknowledging or dealing with it. DEI director means well but is ineffectual. Few if any Latino or Native American boys. Zero in my boys’ grades. Interestingly among the Asians there are many white/Asian mixed kids.

Teachers are the great equalizer. They reward merit and don’t know or care about parent status. There a few conservatives in the history department but more political than racial. Overall teaching quality is strong in Upper School. The teachers made the school.

The admin is a mixed bag. HOS expresses liberal DEI thoughts but is terrified of the wealthy MAGA crowd. Anything explicit and overt admin will respond to. A boy was expelled a couple years ago for using a racial slur. More subtle and structural stuff they let slide. Eg. Lower School head favors white students but he can’t affect grades or appoint student leaders. It affects tone but not opportunities.

OTH, the focus at STA is on boys learning and the school promotes values without going overboard woke the way they do at Sidwell and GDS.

OP here - thank you so much for this thoughtful post. This is exactly what I was looking for. I appreciate you taking the time to truly hear what I was asking for and respond accordingly.

Very good post! My son recently graduated (last 2 yrs) as a white kid from a middle class, liberal family. All I can add as a white person is a strong agreement with the above hierarchy of values, although I would put athletic prowess and academic achievement as tied for most important among the boys. It is very respected and cool to be a high academic achiever as long as you don't brag about it.
1) athletic prowess, 1) academic achievement, 3) sense of humor, 4) other talents, 5) parent status and money.
The boys (especially at the high school level) really don't care who has money. My son was completely accepted by the boys and his friends' parents despite our lack of big money, prestige jobs or club memberships.

NP. Agree class and clubs are important. They may be "friends" with the black kids and lower class kids but no they are not flying to Nantucket with them or golfing with them. Very white wealthy experiences that your kid will be left out of. Family gatherings at the Met Club and Chevy and Congo happen often and you won't be part of that either. It does affect the kids left out.

You will get the same level of academic rigor and strong friendships for life at the Abbey. We know both schools well as well as the entire big three scene plus others like Landon via extended family. Minus on the Abbey side is less sports culture if this is important to your child. (We view this as a plus, though) and much, much, much less materialistic BS (a huge plus for us, and a major draw for us to this school over STA and others.) This means there is so much more social cohesion. We drive a 10 year old modest car to dropoff and don't feel out of place. We are so happy that our child can get a great education without the wealth/class baggage on offer elsewhere.

We have not found the Abbey to be a place with hostile attitudes towards anyone. Our child's class is majority students of color and the atmosphere is positive and supportive for everyone.

OP here - thanks for providing your perspective on the Abbey. How many classes are there per grade in highschool (or is that not really a thing to separate by class/homeroom)? I ask since you mentioned that your son's class was majority students of color. I'm pleasantly surprised to hear that. Do you find that the students of color mingle uniformly or self-segregate into their different groups? I don't have a judgment about it either way, I'm just curious?

Additionally, I've heard that all Abbey classes are taught at the AP level. Is this true? I'm a little concerned about that as in my mind, I equate that to mean that every class a student takes there is proceeding at a very rapid pace, which may impact depth of understanding for those who maybe can't keep up if every class is taught at a fast pace.

Finally, I believe that the Abbey high school class size is smaller than the other schools I listed for highschool. Have you found it to be too small for your son? Is this something he has voiced (perhaps if he started in middle school)?

DP:

1. I think one of the great features of SAAS is that it encourages students to learn who they and others are “from the inside out.” There does not seem to be the unhealthy self-obsession with race and other externals one sometimes finds at other schools. Students mix according to their personal inclinations not by race.

2. The Abbey is undeniably extremely rigorous.

3. If you’re worried about “too small,” the Abbey probably isn’t for you.

[Anonymous]

For such a rigorous school, the Abbey’s college matriculation outcomes have been fairly mediocre in the past, if that’s important to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gonzaga for AA.

There is a black dwarf at Gonzaga who is treated no differently than others. Saw this first hand at an event. Truly upstanding boys being brought up at this school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gonzaga for AA.

There is a black dwarf at Gonzaga who is treated no differently than others. Saw this first hand at an event. Truly upstanding boys being brought up at this school.

I'm hopeful some folks will chime in with first hand perspectives about Gonzaga and Georgetown Prep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For such a rigorous school, the Abbey’s college matriculation outcomes have been fairly mediocre in the past, if that’s important to you, OP.

“Mediocre” is unfair and inaccurate, and seems to be a calculated perjorative aimed at undercutting the school’s prestige. As has been discussed ad infinitum on DCUM, Abbey Boys choose schools for a variety of reasons, including religious/cultural ones, and based on offers of very significant financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gonzaga for AA.

There is a black dwarf at Gonzaga who is treated no differently than others. Saw this first hand at an event. Truly upstanding boys being brought up at this school.

um, I don't think that is the word people now use

[Anonymous]

OP here - please, let's not derail this thread into one about Saint Anslem's college placements. I'm truly looking to hear perspectives on all the listed schools, with a primary focus on the experience of minorities at these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - please, let's not derail this thread into one about Saint Anslem's college placements. I'm truly looking to hear perspectives on all the listed schools, with a primary focus on the experience of minorities at these schools.

There’s a lawsuit pending against Saint Anselms Abbey that’s relevant to your question about the experience of minorities there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - please, let's not derail this thread into one about Saint Anslem's college placements. I'm truly looking to hear perspectives on all the listed schools, with a primary focus on the experience of minorities at these schools.

There’s a lawsuit pending against Saint Anselms Abbey that’s relevant to your question about the experience of minorities there.

Thank you. I recall reading the posts about it.

[Anonymous]

DS is a minority and has had a great experience at Prep. I know Prep has a reputation of being a Waspy jock school. While there are certainly kids who fit that profile, many kids at Prep don’t and still find their people.

15% of kids at Prep are international students and board at the school. This contributes significantly to the diversity of the student body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is a minority and has had a great experience at Prep. I know Prep has a reputation of being a Waspy jock school. While there are certainly kids who fit that profile, many kids at Prep don’t and still find their people.

15% of kids at Prep are international students and board at the school. This contributes significantly to the diversity of the student body.

We visited Prep and really enjoyed our visit. We really appreciated the international element with the boarding students. I would love to hear anything that you would have appreciated knowing when deciding to enroll there (both good and bad).