Problem with Freshman in Vtech

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

I would not agree with this. I would set a minimum of a 3.0 for first semester freshman year. Why teach her to settle for so little? The goal is not simply to get a degree.

It literally is the goal tho.

WTAF is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman in Vtech. She has started drinking with other college kids in dorm. She has denied it and continues to do it. She has started skipping classes. As she is 18 yrs old but under 21 yrs old, Can i as a parent ask for help from the college counselling center? What can i do before it becomes too late to do anything?

No, you can’t. Obviously you raised her wrong.

You were probably overbearing mom who didn’t let her do anything in high school. His that working out for you helicopter mom?

This is directed at OP and not PP, yes? Because it sounds like OP had a huge parenting fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who grow up in authoritarian households with micromanaging parents party hard in college. I witnessed this with my students when I taught at college.

This conventional wisdom is very stupid.

[Anonymous]

Whenever my 17 year old makes jokes about being “an adult” on her next birthday, I always reiterate “Yes, you will be an adult. A fully financially dependent adult.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting is ok, it is just now parenting a young adult. I assume the parents are paying college tuition so they, indeed, are involved if this is the case. Kids need to stop thinking they can go party and waste four years on parents’ money.

Okay? Fine? So you're suggesting that the parent threaten the student that the tuition money will be gone unless they comply? That's a straight-up recipe to get your kid to never trust or go to you again in any situation.


OP - This situation sucks. But she's a freshman. She's 18 and she's experimenting with her freedom and her new friends. I would be big money that she'll be tired of all of this by Christmas break and start the next semester off right. If not, you have your chance to speak to her then. But- for now- don't lose your daughter's trust by attempting to go behind her back for some sort of in loco parentis actions by the administration. For one, they probably will shake their head at you and, in addition, she's an adult.

Hold on tight and trust in your daughter.

Um, the daughter is already not coming to her parents or trusting them if she’s lying about what she’s doing.

True. Probably a by-product of strict and nosy parents throughout high school. If they threaten to take away tuition money for simply having a typical freshman experience, I'm sure the results will be even worse for OP.

Np, definitely this. Well past time to land the helicopter .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

I would not agree with this. I would set a minimum of a 3.0 for first semester freshman year. Why teach her to settle for so little? The goal is not simply to get a degree.

It literally is the goal tho.

WTAF is wrong with you.

Not that PP but the goal is definitely to do better than 3.0 not only out of self respect and respect for your parents but also self interest (if you ever want to attend grad school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman in Vtech. She has started drinking with other college kids in dorm. She has denied it and continues to do it. She has started skipping classes. As she is 18 yrs old but under 21 yrs old, Can i as a parent ask for help from the college counselling center? What can i do before it becomes too late to do anything?

This is obviously a troll. No real parent would write “freshman in Vtech.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

I would not agree with this. I would set a minimum of a 3.0 for first semester freshman year. Why teach her to settle for so little? The goal is not simply to get a degree.

I cannot imagine most type A parents in this area enforcing this. Sorry dear, you got a 2.9 at Dartmouth so you’ll need to drop out and go to NoVA next year, even though the school has no problem with you. I will be telling my friends at the country club about your failure. Forget law school, maybe you can become a manager at a coffee shop someday.

[Anonymous]

What is vtech? The toy company?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know this, OP?

Probably Life 360. You can see when your kid leaves hir or her dorm.

[Anonymous]

Partying with friends is normal but skipping class is NOT okay. If there's any spending money or privileges you give her, tell her you will be cutting that off if she doesn't go to class and try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who grow up in authoritarian households with micromanaging parents party hard in college. I witnessed this with my students when I taught at college.

This conventional wisdom is very stupid.

It’s observational/anecdotal info. However, having been exposed to tons of child psychology research on authoritarian vs authoritative parents, authoritative parenting is associated with far better outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids who grow up in authoritarian households with micromanaging parents party hard in college. I witnessed this with my students when I taught at college.

This conventional wisdom is very stupid.

Yet here OP is. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman in Vtech. She has started drinking with other college kids in dorm. She has denied it and continues to do it. She has started skipping classes. As she is 18 yrs old but under 21 yrs old, Can i as a parent ask for help from the college counselling center? What can i do before it becomes too late to do anything?

This is obviously a troll. No real parent would write “freshman in Vtech.”

Yep. And worrying about drinking in the dorm? Welcome to college - anywhere.