Problem with Freshman in Vtech

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a freshman in Vtech. She has started drinking with other college kids in dorm. She has denied it and continues to do it. She has started skipping classes. As she is 18 yrs old but under 21 yrs old, Can i as a parent ask for help from the college counselling center? What can i do before it becomes too late to do anything?

[Anonymous]

She’s an adult. Let her make her own choices.

[Anonymous]

Parenting is ok, it is just now parenting a young adult. I assume the parents are paying college tuition so they, indeed, are involved if this is the case. Kids need to stop thinking they can go party and waste four years on parents’ money.

[Anonymous]

How do you know she’s drinking and skipping class if she’s denying it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting is ok, it is just now parenting a young adult. I assume the parents are paying college tuition so they, indeed, are involved if this is the case. Kids need to stop thinking they can go party and waste four years on parents’ money.

Okay? Fine? So you're suggesting that the parent threaten the student that the tuition money will be gone unless they comply? That's a straight-up recipe to get your kid to never trust or go to you again in any situation.


OP - This situation sucks. But she's a freshman. She's 18 and she's experimenting with her freedom and her new friends. I would be big money that she'll be tired of all of this by Christmas break and start the next semester off right. If not, you have your chance to speak to her then. But- for now- don't lose your daughter's trust by attempting to go behind her back for some sort of in loco parentis actions by the administration. For one, they probably will shake their head at you and, in addition, she's an adult.

Hold on tight and trust in your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Drinking and skipping class are two different issues.

[Anonymous]

Don’t most freshman drink? I didn’t, and I definitely felt like the odd one out back in my college days.

[Anonymous]

She's a freshman in college.

Like Biggie said: party, and bullshit, and party, and bullshit...

She'll grow out of it. Chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman in Vtech. She has started drinking with other college kids in dorm. She has denied it and continues to do it. She has started skipping classes. As she is 18 yrs old but under 21 yrs old, Can i as a parent ask for help from the college counselling center? What can i do before it becomes too late to do anything?

OP, you can ask but they aren't going to do anything. I agree with PP that drinking and skipping classes are 2 different things. I would not tolerate the skipping classes. You are paying for her to be there for an education. Have you set a minimum GPA that she is expected to achieve this semester?

[Anonymous]

OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

I would not agree with this. I would set a minimum of a 3.0 for first semester freshman year. Why teach her to settle for so little? The goal is not simply to get a degree.

[Anonymous]

LOL my daughter's freshman year she was on a dorm floor where half the floor signed a pledge to not drink and be in by 11 pm.

That poor RA that year. Those "non drinkers" LOL out all night, drunk walking back to dorm at 7am ism or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how do you know she is skipping class?

You can not control her behavior at college.

What you do is you wait til the semester ends.

C's get degrees if she has a 2.5 or above she stays.

After the semester if she's 2.5 or less then a conversation is had. We don't pay for you to go away to school and not try. Hence Community college and living at home is next semester.

This. Set a minimum GPA and if it isn’t met then she goes to community college at home.

[Anonymous]

How do you know this, OP?

[Anonymous]

Freshman drink, do drugs and have sex. The bigger issue would be not doing those things. Encourage safety and land the helicopter.