Mean kid demanding party invite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid said that at a recent, similar-sized bar mitzvah, which was definitely the party of the year, several kids snuck in as "plus ones" of invited kids. I couldn't believe 13-year-olds would come up with this stuff. The hosts were gracious about it.

What 13 year old is invited with a date? This is not true.

It's very true. A couple of kids showed up with a "plus one," and the host couldn't really turn them away, as they'd rented a large space, and it was awkward to have these kids getting dropped off in fancy attire, ready to party. Or at least, this is how it was reported by my kid, who had been approached by a girl who wasn't invited and asked him to take her, and he asked me what to do, and I obviously said the invitation is for one!

This is unheard of in our area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid said that at a recent, similar-sized bar mitzvah, which was definitely the party of the year, several kids snuck in as "plus ones" of invited kids. I couldn't believe 13-year-olds would come up with this stuff. The hosts were gracious about it.

What 13 year old is invited with a date? This is not true.

These aren’t dates. It sounds like the invited kid brought along a plus one. Like a girl might bring another girl who was mad she was missing out on the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of this is very kid specific. My daughter just walked away when confronted like this, but my daughter is pretty chill and doesn’t get flustered by this kind of nonsense. I would have been fine if she had a snarky response. I like the “this is giving stalker” or “why do you want to come to a party you said was dumb”. I would also be fine if she just blamed us as the parents. You can give your kid options and let them decide.

All good advice. Had coached my kid to walk away or just say they are not friends and space is limited. We did think about 100% of lunch table and 100% of home room even though we were only inviting 20% of grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of this is very kid specific. My daughter just walked away when confronted like this, but my daughter is pretty chill and doesn’t get flustered by this kind of nonsense. I would have been fine if she had a snarky response. I like the “this is giving stalker” or “why do you want to come to a party you said was dumb”. I would also be fine if she just blamed us as the parents. You can give your kid options and let them decide.

All good advice. Had coached my kid to walk away or just say they are not friends and space is limited. We did think about 100% of lunch table and 100% of home room even though we were only inviting 20% of grade.

I also like the idea of giving options and letting the kid decide in these situations and walk through each of them. I try to never give explicit advice about specific scenarios because my kids know the situation and kids personalities better. And better to have them own a response rather than blame a bad reaction on mom or dad.

[Anonymous]

I think you just coach them to keep saying “I don’t think it’s appropriate to discuss this at school.”

But also make sure they know it’s not their fault and the main thing is to try not to get dragged into a back and forth about excuses and reasons. This kid is the one misbehaving. Your kid just needs to peacefully deflect as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid said that at a recent, similar-sized bar mitzvah, which was definitely the party of the year, several kids snuck in as "plus ones" of invited kids. I couldn't believe 13-year-olds would come up with this stuff. The hosts were gracious about it.

What 13 year old is invited with a date? This is not true.

It's very true. A couple of kids showed up with a "plus one," and the host couldn't really turn them away, as they'd rented a large space, and it was awkward to have these kids getting dropped off in fancy attire, ready to party. Or at least, this is how it was reported by my kid, who had been approached by a girl who wasn't invited and asked him to take her, and he asked me what to do, and I obviously said the invitation is for one!

You went from “several kids” to “a couple of kids.” That’s very different. But also, that’s not really a thing that happens. I think that mom just wanted to brag that her kid’s party was so amazing that kids were crashing if.