Mean kid demanding party invite

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel bad for not inviting a kid who has been mean to yours? This is a consequence of being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I couldn’t invite everyone-there’s not enough room!”

I would avoid getting in to the reasons-it won’t help and the kid will just get more upset and badmouth more.

(One thing to consider, though-you mention inviting 25% of the class but if it’s also 75% of the girls or 90% of the lunch table your daughter really should be extra careful to be kind (because those smaller breakdowns are what really matter vs % of the class.)

This. The bully isnt worth extra drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You're not invited because you're mean. Maybe if you were nicer more people would want to invite you to things."

That's terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Color me skeptical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No come back, don't engage and just ignore. Tell your child to say I'm sorry, I did not make the invite list, my parents did and they wanted to keep the party small.

Huh? A middle school kid didn’t invite their own friends? No don’t say this.

Tell the truth.

We’re not friends so you’re not invited.

This is the only thing to say in middle school. Nothing else is needed.

[Anonymous]

Send an invite for the wrong time/location. They don't like the host, so they won't attend.

Talk to the parent. Is the kid emotionally disturbed or just narcissist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send an invite for the wrong time/location. They don't like the host, so they won't attend.

Talk to the parent. Is the kid emotionally disturbed or just narcissist?

Talk to the parent? No way. Just ignore. This kid's feelings aren't anyone's problem but his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:O would just use the bully’s words. “Well you just said it was stupid and were badmouthing the party, so clearly you don’t want to attend.”

I like this a lot. My snarky kid would say something like "you're right, it will probably suck – so be glad you're off the hook."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:O would just use the bully’s words. “Well you just said it was stupid and were badmouthing the party, so clearly you don’t want to attend.”

I like this a lot. My snarky kid would say something like "you're right, it will probably suck – so be glad you're off the hook."

It's not going to end there. There's no way that's going to be the last thing said. The bully will just dish it right back, then what? Eventually they will probably get physical.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't invite everyone, sorry. Leave it at that. However, you said 25% of the class - if this is skewed by gender so that it is say, 80 percent of the girls or boys, that's a different situation.

[Anonymous]

“I couldn’t invite everyone-there’s not enough room!”

I would avoid getting in to the reasons-it won’t help and the kid will just get more upset and badmouth more.

(One thing to consider, though-you mention inviting 25% of the class but if it’s also 75% of the girls or 90% of the lunch table your daughter really should be extra careful to be kind (because those smaller breakdowns are what really matter vs % of the class.)


+1

Agree with the general idea, but if it is a bar vs. bat mitzvah, there is not a daughter involved.

[Anonymous]

I think if the kid is harassing it makes sense to say "I think you need to move on. This is giving stalker."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“You’re not invited because you’re a dick bro.”

This.

[Anonymous]

“Sorry, the party’s limited to X guests” makes it pretty clear that the bully is not in the inner circle, without being rude and inviting further engagement/retaliation.

If the bully keeps going on about it, they’ll come across to other kids as desperate/obsessed. This might be more a case of narcissistic injury at being left out than actually wanting to attend the party.

[Anonymous]

My kid said that at a recent, similar-sized bar mitzvah, which was definitely the party of the year, several kids snuck in as "plus ones" of invited kids. I couldn't believe 13-year-olds would come up with this stuff. The hosts were gracious about it.