Was on the phone with ex wife for 45 mins yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey ladies. Serious question. And be honest. Will you be comfortable if your boyfriend spent 45 mins on the phone with his ex wife and the topics they talked about were not urgent?

NP. This sounds absurd to me. I'm a guy. At various times my (now) wife has talked to, or had lunch with, ex-boyfriends. Same for me and ex-girlfriends. These were people that were huge parts of our lives at one point, and significantly impacting who each of us became. Why would you expect someone to cut them off?

If you like them so much, why did you break up? They were part of your life, but they aren’t anymore. When it’s over, you should move on.

[Anonymous]

Simply tell her that you need to hang up then bid her goodbye and hang up.

[Anonymous]

I'm one year into my stbx leaving and there was a time when I needed to not talk to him because it was too painful, but at this point I am over him, and therefore shooting the breeze is just that.

I mean, we were partners for 26 years, we know a lot about each other's lives. I'm very careful about emotional boundaries (mainly because the big bonus of him leaving is that I don't have to be the receptacle for his one-sided emotional dumping and constant chaos) but I'm not going to avoid being friends with him. We share kids, and a dog. And currently, still some property and such. There's stuff to talk about. It doesn't mean anything.

He does have a girlfriend; that's why he left. But if she feels uncomfortable about me, well that's their problem, not mine. She's the one choosing to date a conflict-avoidant serial cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey ladies. Serious question. And be honest. Will you be comfortable if your boyfriend spent 45 mins on the phone with his ex wife and the topics they talked about were not urgent?

NP. This sounds absurd to me. I'm a guy. At various times my (now) wife has talked to, or had lunch with, ex-boyfriends. Same for me and ex-girlfriends. These were people that were huge parts of our lives at one point, and significantly impacting who each of us became. Why would you expect someone to cut them off?

If you like them so much, why did you break up? They were part of your life, but they aren’t anymore. When it’s over, you should move on.

Surely you've been in situations where discover you simply have incompatible goals, no?

[Anonymous]

I do have extended conversations with my ex wife, but my girlfriend is not thrilled about it. If it were up to her all communications would have been cut off. One time she told me that everytime I hand up the phone after talking to my ex I am in a good mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey ladies. Serious question. And be honest. Will you be comfortable if your boyfriend spent 45 mins on the phone with his ex wife and the topics they talked about were not urgent?

I would not care. They have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of divorced couples who remain friendly or even friends. I don't find this unusual.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm always shocked by the level of jealousy and suspicion on dcum. Is that unique to the posters here?

[Anonymous]

I would not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you think a 45 minute conversation is some romantic overstep may be a clue into one of the reasons for your divorce.

Amen to this.

[Anonymous]

I am super confused how OP is implying that someone having a 45 minute conversation with someone is suspicious, when he also had a 45 minute conversation. If OP suspects she is having an affair with him does he suspect he is having an affair with her? Don’t most people know whether they are having affairs? If he knows he didn’t, then doesn’t he know she didn’t?

[Anonymous]

lol

I talked to my ex about four times a week about unimportant things.

WTF with all the insecurity.

[Anonymous]

A 45 minute conversation between people who share children, where nothing sexual or suggestive was said, is crossing a line?

You crazy, OP.

Even if she was rambling, you could have hung up the phone at any time. “Hey, gotta run – good to catch up. Bye.”

It’s not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 45 minute conversation between people who share children, where nothing sexual or suggestive was said, is crossing a line?

You crazy, OP.

Even if she was rambling, you could have hung up the phone at any time. “Hey, gotta run – good to catch up. Bye.”

It’s not that hard.

I agree. I'll have to admit though I'm not sure most divorced people ever spend more than 20 mins talking to each other. We have friends who are divorced and the hatred is visible even if they hide it. Of course some are still cordial, but most are not.

OP and his ex are probably in good terms

Anyways people can just text. Most issues can be handled via text or email.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you didn't get off the phone with her.