Move in day - stay one night or two?

[Anonymous]

DD started at a school that was two hours away last August. We did the trip up and back in one day.

She’s about to transfer to a school that is six hours away. We’re driving up on Sunday and moving her in on Monday. Spending another night, saying goodbye on Tuesday and then driving home.

[Anonymous]

We stayed. It wasn’t a big deal. We left our kid in her room with her roommate when they had dorm meeting and activities at night. We got a few things that were needed and went out that night for dinner on our own. The next morning was a quick breakfast (after she went to a school activity) and we gave her the stuff we bought and left pretty quickly.
It depends on your kid. We didn’t prolong it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

it's almost as if people want to do things they way they prefer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, get in and get out. Parents who linger are making their child's transition to college far worse.

The drama. My kid moved into his dorm (UMiami) and following that were 2 days of orientation for parents so I was around for a few days. The "transition" was fine. This is not PreK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

+1. Have done this for multiple children including twins whose schools were 11 and 17 hours away in opposite directions from our home. Going to do it again next month for next younger kid, school is about 16 hours away. I will fly with him and rent a car.

It boils down to three lists: (1) things we bring from home (4 duffles max, plus student's rolling carryon; one duffle holds all the washed bedding), (2) things we buy there at Target (fly in a day early for shopping, knowing exactly which items are available at which Targets, often further from the college because college Target will be out of stock), and (3) things we order on Amazon to be shipped to hotel (probably foam mattress pad and one or two other things). A little organization goes a long way.

To be clear, this response is for the PP driving 20 hours, not OP who is only driving 2 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

it's almost as if people want to do things they way they prefer?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

+1. Have done this for multiple children including twins whose schools were 11 and 17 hours away in opposite directions from our home. Going to do it again next month for next younger kid, school is about 16 hours away. I will fly with him and rent a car.

It boils down to three lists: (1) things we bring from home (4 duffles max, plus student's rolling carryon; one duffle holds all the washed bedding), (2) things we buy there at Target (fly in a day early for shopping, knowing exactly which items are available at which Targets, often further from the college because college Target will be out of stock), and (3) things we order on Amazon to be shipped to hotel (probably foam mattress pad and one or two other things). A little organization goes a long way.

To be clear, this response is for the PP driving 20 hours, not OP who is only driving 2 hours.

Yep we’ve done that too. We actually enjoy the drive. Wife and l will take our time getting back and seeing some sights and just having fun spending time together and reflecting on getting our youngest off 3 off to college To each their own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We stayed. It wasn’t a big deal. We left our kid in her room with her roommate when they had dorm meeting and activities at night. We got a few things that were needed and went out that night for dinner on our own. The next morning was a quick breakfast (after she went to a school activity) and we gave her the stuff we bought and left pretty quickly.
It depends on your kid. We didn’t prolong it.

It was the same for us. We were staying with nearby extended family the night before all together, moved DD into her dorm and left her there. DH and I went back to spend one more night with family, planning on driving home the next day - not intending to drop see DD again. But as we were leaving her after unpacking, it became very clear that she couldn't face a goodbye right then, so we changed plans to grab her for a quick breakfast the next morning on our way out of town. Was exactly the right call - she was emotionally & mentally ready for that goodbye and did great with the transition.

It depends on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We stayed. It wasn’t a big deal. We left our kid in her room with her roommate when they had dorm meeting and activities at night. We got a few things that were needed and went out that night for dinner on our own. The next morning was a quick breakfast (after she went to a school activity) and we gave her the stuff we bought and left pretty quickly.
It depends on your kid. We didn’t prolong it.

It was the same for us. We were staying with nearby extended family the night before all together, moved DD into her dorm and left her there. DH and I went back to spend one more night with family, planning on driving home the next day - not intending to drop see DD again. But as we were leaving her after unpacking, it became very clear that she couldn't face a goodbye right then, so we changed plans to grab her for a quick breakfast the next morning on our way out of town. Was exactly the right call - she was emotionally & mentally ready for that goodbye and did great with the transition.

It depends on your kid.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

+1. Have done this for multiple children including twins whose schools were 11 and 17 hours away in opposite directions from our home. Going to do it again next month for next younger kid, school is about 16 hours away. I will fly with him and rent a car.

It boils down to three lists: (1) things we bring from home (4 duffles max, plus student's rolling carryon; one duffle holds all the washed bedding), (2) things we buy there at Target (fly in a day early for shopping, knowing exactly which items are available at which Targets, often further from the college because college Target will be out of stock), and (3) things we order on Amazon to be shipped to hotel (probably foam mattress pad and one or two other things). A little organization goes a long way.

To be clear, this response is for the PP driving 20 hours, not OP who is only driving 2 hours.

Did this cost more than driving? How much for three people? What if bringing things from home is less expensive than buying all new, even from Target?

[Anonymous]

depends on the kids
depends on the college
depends on the distance

the idea that there are people locked into ONE WAY for EVERYONE is peak DCUM

[Anonymous]

Our first drop off is an 8 hour drive, so we stayed one night. Second one is 2.5 hours, so we won't stay longer than having lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

+1. Have done this for multiple children including twins whose schools were 11 and 17 hours away in opposite directions from our home. Going to do it again next month for next younger kid, school is about 16 hours away. I will fly with him and rent a car.

It boils down to three lists: (1) things we bring from home (4 duffles max, plus student's rolling carryon; one duffle holds all the washed bedding), (2) things we buy there at Target (fly in a day early for shopping, knowing exactly which items are available at which Targets, often further from the college because college Target will be out of stock), and (3) things we order on Amazon to be shipped to hotel (probably foam mattress pad and one or two other things). A little organization goes a long way.

To be clear, this response is for the PP driving 20 hours, not OP who is only driving 2 hours.

Did this cost more than driving? How much for three people? What if bringing things from home is less expensive than buying all new, even from Target?

Typically, whether you fly or drive, you really aren’t bringing that many items you already have (other than clothing, computer & toiletry items). Most teens are not sleeping in a twinXL at home, so that bedding needs to be purchased. I can’t see anyone pulling up their throw rug from their bedroom and bringing it to college. Same for storage bins. Most teens have dressers and larger closets at home that fit their clothing. College requires being creative about storage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really enjoyed the Duke events. Glad we stayed. This is a question best asked on the parent Facebook page. Those people are also sure about doing things one way only, but at least their opinions are based in some facts about the college

True. One of our kids' schools has early move in for pre-orientation seminars, then at regular drop off for all students, they have events for parents. We don't plan on going back for that, but some parents might stay in town so they can do the parent events. Checking in with experienced parents on what those events are like at your kid's school helps you make that choice. In our case only one event is different from the admitted students day tours, which we already did.