Move in day - stay one night or two?

[Anonymous]

Nope. 2 hour driving distance is one night max. I generally stay 2 because both kids are a cross-country flight away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're moving my freshman into her dorm on a Friday afternoon. I figured we'd stay in her college town on Friday night but return home late Saturday (2 hour drive).

Is there any reason we should stay an additional night? (other than my emotions )

You shouldn’t even stay the one night. Arrive, unpack, take her to lunch, hit the road.

This works for JMU or JHU, but if your drive is 7+ hours, you are likely coming in the day before and staying over a night. It's not one size fits all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

You’re gonna have to try harder. I wasn’t dropping her off at a dorm sobbing, then desperately hanging around her college campus hoping for one last glimpse. She was in her mid 20s and was already living abroad (not in the UK but elsewhere) when it happened.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she were moving there for grad school or a job. I was early retired and she asked me pop over and help. I never said cut your kid off at 18. I said don’t hang around their college on drop off weekend and be a drama queen. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

You’re gonna have to try harder. I wasn’t dropping her off at a dorm sobbing, then desperately hanging around her college campus hoping for one last glimpse. She was in her mid 20s and was already living abroad (not in the UK but elsewhere) when it happened.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she were moving there for grad school or a job. I was early retired and she asked me pop over and help. I never said cut your kid off at 18. I said don’t hang around their college on drop off weekend and be a drama queen. Big difference.

Thanks for your viewpoint, Mr. Sikorsky.

Did anyone say their student or they were sobbing at move in? Did you read any drama queen posts?

You flew to another country to secure an apartment for an adult (mid-20s?) child. And you’re criticizing people for staying an extra night to help their 17 or 18 yr old make a quick run to Target?

Do what you want to support your child but don’t criticize others when they do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

You’re gonna have to try harder. I wasn’t dropping her off at a dorm sobbing, then desperately hanging around her college campus hoping for one last glimpse. She was in her mid 20s and was already living abroad (not in the UK but elsewhere) when it happened.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she were moving there for grad school or a job. I was early retired and she asked me pop over and help. I never said cut your kid off at 18. I said don’t hang around their college on drop off weekend and be a drama queen. Big difference.

Thanks for your viewpoint, Mr. Sikorsky.

Did anyone say their student or they were sobbing at move in? Did you read any drama queen posts?

You flew to another country to secure an apartment for an adult (mid-20s?) child. And you’re criticizing people for staying an extra night to help their 17 or 18 yr old make a quick run to Target?

Do what you want to support your child but don’t criticize others when they do the same.

I did made a quick run to Target with my kid at drop off. It didn't take an extra night to do it, and it wasn't followed by a panel discussion for parents.

There's a huge difference between what I did with my kid and what you're talking about. For starters, what I did I did for my kid. What you and others did -- attending silly parent stuff -- you did for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I’m right. You’re wrong.

That’s a parenting vibe, for sure. Coming in hot and heavy with your dug-in opinion about something that doesn’t matter much and doesn’t impact you even a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m right. You’re wrong.

That’s a parenting vibe, for sure. Coming in hot and heavy with your dug-in opinion about something that doesn’t matter much and doesn’t impact you even a little.

It's not a matter of right or wrong. It's a matter of recognizing two absolute and interrelated truths. One, when you overstay, you're doing it for you and not you kid. Two, parent fluff programs on move in weekend are aimed at keeping the helicopter parents at bay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

You’re gonna have to try harder. I wasn’t dropping her off at a dorm sobbing, then desperately hanging around her college campus hoping for one last glimpse. She was in her mid 20s and was already living abroad (not in the UK but elsewhere) when it happened.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she were moving there for grad school or a job. I was early retired and she asked me pop over and help. I never said cut your kid off at 18. I said don’t hang around their college on drop off weekend and be a drama queen. Big difference.

Thanks for your viewpoint, Mr. Sikorsky.

Did anyone say their student or they were sobbing at move in? Did you read any drama queen posts?

You flew to another country to secure an apartment for an adult (mid-20s?) child. And you’re criticizing people for staying an extra night to help their 17 or 18 yr old make a quick run to Target?

Do what you want to support your child but don’t criticize others when they do the same.

I did made a quick run to Target with my kid at drop off. It didn't take an extra night to do it, and it wasn't followed by a panel discussion for parents.

There's a huge difference between what I did with my kid and what you're talking about. For starters, what I did I did for my kid. What you and others did -- attending silly parent stuff -- you did for yourself.

Are you the parent who flew to the UK to set their kid up in an apartment “because the UK is cool”? If so, you did a LOT more than a quick Target run and the coolness factor was for you, not your kid. If you aren’t, what is the purpose of your comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

Practical and necessary for the parent to do or because it was cool? But your child - a graduate student - couldn’t do it themselves? And you are calling other parents helicopters?

You’re gonna have to try harder. I wasn’t dropping her off at a dorm sobbing, then desperately hanging around her college campus hoping for one last glimpse. She was in her mid 20s and was already living abroad (not in the UK but elsewhere) when it happened.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she were moving there for grad school or a job. I was early retired and she asked me pop over and help. I never said cut your kid off at 18. I said don’t hang around their college on drop off weekend and be a drama queen. Big difference.

Thanks for your viewpoint, Mr. Sikorsky.

Did anyone say their student or they were sobbing at move in? Did you read any drama queen posts?

You flew to another country to secure an apartment for an adult (mid-20s?) child. And you’re criticizing people for staying an extra night to help their 17 or 18 yr old make a quick run to Target?

Do what you want to support your child but don’t criticize others when they do the same.

I did made a quick run to Target with my kid at drop off. It didn't take an extra night to do it, and it wasn't followed by a panel discussion for parents.

There's a huge difference between what I did with my kid and what you're talking about. For starters, what I did I did for my kid. What you and others did -- attending silly parent stuff -- you did for yourself.

Are you the parent who flew to the UK to set their kid up in an apartment “because the UK is cool”? If so, you did a LOT more than a quick Target run and the coolness factor was for you, not your kid. If you aren’t, what is the purpose of your comment?

LOL. I might have already been there. I can't remember. No, wait I wasn't -- I flew over with her, that's right. It was no big deal. We stayed in an Arbnb, she did her orientation stuff, then we looked for an apartment. Found a good one. I definitely did it for her though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, only two hours away, zero nights.

100% this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC’s school is two plus hours away. We stayed two nights. Kid loves school, assimilated well, made good friends and was somehow not stunted by this experience, even though DCUM has declared that to be impossible. Make up your own mind about what makes your family feel good about the experience. Good luck, OP!

What did you do for two days?? Cry?

When we dropped our kids off at UVA from NOVA we barely stopped the car. Lol

Spent the night before move in having a nice, relaxed dinner together before early move in the next day. Helped with move in, made a Target and grocery store run because she doesn’t have a car then said goodbye. Stayed that night because there were parent orientation activities the next day. It’s really not that mysterious. Something tells me your kid was eager to jump out of that car…

“Parent orientation” is designed to keep helicopter parents out of their kids’ hair on move-in weekend. You do know that, right? So you spent your second day with other anxious and over-the-top parents on move-in weekend while we took the other kids to the beach. I’d say ours was the better decision!

I’m fascinated that somehow you have been able to attend the family orientations of every college in order to draw that conclusion. Please tell us how you managed that, particularly with all those kids! The other parents we met weren’t anxious or hovering. They were excited, happy to share useful, less official info that the college won’t tell you and getting to look around the place where their kids will spend four years. In our case we also met up with old friends whose kid ended up at the same school. All in all, it was a lovely day and a nice transition time. Why you’re so triggered by that idea is beyond me.

Because you are so willfully blind, it’s laughable

If it were me, I might think that a little introspection might be appropriate if I just couldn’t handle the idea that someone on the Internet suggested that there may be a slight chance that I might not have the one correct answer to a parenting question.. But that’s just poor, blind, laughable me. The good thing is that now we all know who to go to when we have any questions about parenting or college. Apparently there will be one correct answer and it will be yours. Whew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC’s school is two plus hours away. We stayed two nights. Kid loves school, assimilated well, made good friends and was somehow not stunted by this experience, even though DCUM has declared that to be impossible. Make up your own mind about what makes your family feel good about the experience. Good luck, OP!

What did you do for two days?? Cry?

When we dropped our kids off at UVA from NOVA we barely stopped the car. Lol

Spent the night before move in having a nice, relaxed dinner together before early move in the next day. Helped with move in, made a Target and grocery store run because she doesn’t have a car then said goodbye. Stayed that night because there were parent orientation activities the next day. It’s really not that mysterious. Something tells me your kid was eager to jump out of that car…

“Parent orientation” is designed to keep helicopter parents out of their kids’ hair on move-in weekend. You do know that, right? So you spent your second day with other anxious and over-the-top parents on move-in weekend while we took the other kids to the beach. I’d say ours was the better decision!

I’m fascinated that somehow you have been able to attend the family orientations of every college in order to draw that conclusion. Please tell us how you managed that, particularly with all those kids! The other parents we met weren’t anxious or hovering. They were excited, happy to share useful, less official info that the college won’t tell you and getting to look around the place where their kids will spend four years. In our case we also met up with old friends whose kid ended up at the same school. All in all, it was a lovely day and a nice transition time. Why you’re so triggered by that idea is beyond me.

Because you are so willfully blind, it’s laughable

If it were me, I might think that a little introspection might be appropriate if I just couldn’t handle the idea that someone on the Internet suggested that there may be a slight chance that I might not have the one correct answer to a parenting question.. But that’s just poor, blind, laughable me. The good thing is that now we all know who to go to when we have any questions about parenting or college. Apparently there will be one correct answer and it will be yours. Whew!

You’re welcome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

You don’t need to drive everything there. Our son went to a school that was 10 hours away. We flew there and checked large duffle bags. It was free on Southwest. Airport was 15 minutes from school.

Rented a car. Had dorm bedding shipped to school that we order from a college dorm outfit place. You could also order items on Amazon and have it shipped to a locker in the college town. There were a few items that he still needed, so we made a Target run with the rented car.

Easy peasy.

You do realize that not every school is the same? Shipping to our school was not an option. Packages at beginning of year took weeks to process. Also Amazon prime same/next day is not an option everywhere. Glad this worked out for you but maybe consider that the experience is not the same for every college.

[Anonymous]

My kid was 3.5 hours away. Drove down early AM, moved in, made a Walmart run for last minute items and grabbed lunch on the way back to the dorm. Helped son get his room setup, and then left right before son and roommate were heading to the dining hall for dinner.