Move in day - stay one night or two?

[Anonymous]

my parents went to parent panels in 1989!

it's a lot easier to explain things to a 1000 parents at once - when to expect tuition bills, what is available for a kid who breaks their arm, what is available for a kid who needs a flu shot, how to support kids, what can or can't be done with roommates issues, their best advice about what to do and what not to do. you have a small number of kids - they've seen many more.

also, why do you CARE if some college admins are rolling their eyes? you cannot be that insecure at this age. either they're serving something of value or they're not. that's on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

I'd be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to schools if they didn't charge $90K per year. It makes the stakes feel so much higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

I'd be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to schools if they didn't charge $90K per year. It makes the stakes feel so much higher.

the stakes are high. I told my kids - in my day, taking an extra semester or year wasn't such a big deal. but you can't do that. sorry. go to every info session and meet every advisor until you're 1000% sure you have a schedule that gets you done in 4 years, with a little wiggle room in case you need to drop something, get sick, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

I'd be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to schools if they didn't charge $90K per year. It makes the stakes feel so much higher.

the stakes are high. I told my kids - in my day, taking an extra semester or year wasn't such a big deal. but you can't do that. sorry. go to every info session and meet every advisor until you're 1000% sure you have a schedule that gets you done in 4 years, with a little wiggle room in case you need to drop something, get sick, etc

all true but none of this changes the fact that parent programs are to deal with the helicopters and are completely unnecessary and a waste of the school's money . . . i never heard of a kid who didn't graduate on time because their parent didn't stay long enough on move in weekend

[Anonymous]

We moved our kid in a couple of weeks ago for a summer start program. After helping with move-in, we made a quick trip to Target. We had the option of either having dinner with him or saying goodbye before dinner. We made the mistake of choosing dinner, which was dreadful. Be smart and make the goodbye quick. Once you're together without a specific task like moving or shopping, it gets sad really fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC’s school is two plus hours away. We stayed two nights. Kid loves school, assimilated well, made good friends and was somehow not stunted by this experience, even though DCUM has declared that to be impossible. Make up your own mind about what makes your family feel good about the experience. Good luck, OP!

What did you do for two days?? Cry?

When we dropped our kids off at UVA from NOVA we barely stopped the car. Lol

Spent the night before move in having a nice, relaxed dinner together before early move in the next day. Helped with move in, made a Target and grocery store run because she doesn’t have a car then said goodbye. Stayed that night because there were parent orientation activities the next day. It’s really not that mysterious. Something tells me your kid was eager to jump out of that car…

“Parent orientation” is designed to keep helicopter parents out of their kids’ hair on move-in weekend. You do know that, right? So you spent your second day with other anxious and over-the-top parents on move-in weekend while we took the other kids to the beach. I’d say ours was the better decision!

I've been convinced that Yale is not like that. Sounds like other schools are not like that. It wasn't true when my own mom went to a parent event back in 1992 (or, at least, it was something she really enjoyed). And yet .. you know all about all schools in all places and times.

My kid worked hard to get into a t10 school and we're paying 90k to sent them there. You better believe I'm going to the panels, the assembly, and the dinner. I'm looking forward to it. Then I'll spend the night in a nice hotel. Then DH and I fly to Europe for the beginning of Act 2 (or is it Act 3?). I like my decision plenty.

Curious to know if you think the parents who are stretching to pay 45k and whose kid worked hard to get into a t50 should just drop and run? If not, why mention the rank and the money?

Because we already mocked her on name dropping, not she is money dropping.

I'm paying 90k and dont have a kid at yale. This is what COA is now.

Yep and the high ranking OOS Publics that are more reasonable are becoming more and more impossible to be accepted to.

[Anonymous]

We r arriving at few days before to get acclimated and staying 2 nights after orientation. DC is starting in London.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are only 2 hrs and 3 hrs away. Did not stay overnight. However, we made sure to plan a weekend home over Labor Day so they had something to look forward to, and fall break in early October. Helps to come home and get things they didn’t anticipate, and just get sleep/food!

For gods sakes no! Do not encourage your kid to come home over Labor Day. She should be settling in that weekend, studying, getting to know people. Don't be the kid who goes home for Labor Day weekend.

+1 This is a terrible idea. The only kid I know who went home for Labor Day dropped out before the first semester was over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

I'd be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to schools if they didn't charge $90K per year. It makes the stakes feel so much higher.

the stakes are high. I told my kids - in my day, taking an extra semester or year wasn't such a big deal. but you can't do that. sorry. go to every info session and meet every advisor until you're 1000% sure you have a schedule that gets you done in 4 years, with a little wiggle room in case you need to drop something, get sick, etc

all true but none of this changes the fact that parent programs are to deal with the helicopters and are completely unnecessary and a waste of the school's money . . . i never heard of a kid who didn't graduate on time because their parent didn't stay long enough on move in weekend

I enjoy the moms who 1) have never taken part in any school-based programming, and yet 2) are 100% sure it's a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

We dropped our son off early last summer - the beginning of July - and then got the hell out of town (mostly because we weren't allowed to see him). I would have killed for a lingering few days of parent orientation and whatever, but that's life. Cutting the cord immediately hurts, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

I'd be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to schools if they didn't charge $90K per year. It makes the stakes feel so much higher.

the stakes are high. I told my kids - in my day, taking an extra semester or year wasn't such a big deal. but you can't do that. sorry. go to every info session and meet every advisor until you're 1000% sure you have a schedule that gets you done in 4 years, with a little wiggle room in case you need to drop something, get sick, etc

all true but none of this changes the fact that parent programs are to deal with the helicopters and are completely unnecessary and a waste of the school's money . . . i never heard of a kid who didn't graduate on time because their parent didn't stay long enough on move in weekend

I enjoy the moms who 1) have never taken part in any school-based programming, and yet 2) are 100% sure it's a waste of time.

I enjoy the moms who have actually convinced themselves that these programs are designed for anything other than to keep the parents away from the kids on move in weekend and are the last thing the schools feel like either doing or are otherwise necessary

[Anonymous]

3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the bottom line is that colleges have had to adjust over the years for helicopter parents and have had to come up with ways to remove them from their children as early and as much as they can from the move in process without alienating and enraging them. That's what the parent "panels" are all about. You can be assured that the schools are rolling their collective eyes at all of it.

It's not just an American problem, btw. I once helped one of my kids find an apartment in the UK for grad school, and in the process found myself on campus about to enter a building where a "no parents allowed" orientation was going on. The kid at the door gently refused my entrance. After I assured him that it was an innocent mistake and I was not hovering we had a good laugh about the helicopter parent problem.

Why were you helping them find an apt? I did that myself; my mommy stayed home.

Lol. Who said I’m the “mommy?” I never did.

It was GRADUATE school in the UK, as I said. And I was actually helping with something practical and necessary — not getting in the way, not attending contrived events, etc. Totally different situation. Plus it was the UK which is cool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're moving my freshman into her dorm on a Friday afternoon. I figured we'd stay in her college town on Friday night but return home late Saturday (2 hour drive).

Is there any reason we should stay an additional night? (other than my emotions )

You shouldn’t even stay the one night. Arrive, unpack, take her to lunch, hit the road.