Qs before a playdate or sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Yeah presumably a relative or a friend who doesn’t have children, because we couldn’t expect such a home to host an adult male, right?

🫠

+1 dad or older teen sib leaving the house is absolutely insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've recently moved into the world of drop of playdates with families we don't really know - oldest is 5.5, he's been making new friends at camp and was invited over to play last weekend.

How do people handle this generally? It's not guns that worry me as much as creepy/crappy parents, but it's really hard to know/judge. I ended up staying for about 30 mins and chatting until both my kid and I felt comfortable, then I left. I don't think I'm comfortable just dropping my kid off at someone's house who's parent I've never met (we had just exchanged numbers via notes in backpacks from camp) so that felt like a reasonable middle ground. Interested to hear from other folks about how you handle this and how you feel about it.

My other concern is actually unsupervised screens. Like, I do not want my kid alone in a room with his friend and an iPad. Is that something to ask about? Will parents be honest? How best to phrase?

Would love some wisdom from parents of older kids who have been through this.

Personally I agree that the the internet is probably one of the biggest concerns in that most "responsible" parents lock up firearms and poison, but many just let their kids run wild on the web. Once you see something you can't unsee it.

I think it's find to ask if the kids will have access to the internet. You can say you know someone whose kids got into some nasty stuff online at a sleepover so you're curious what their policy is. Along with other questions like where they'll be sleeping and who will be home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Dad here. If my wife or her friend suggested I should leave my own house for a sleepover, I'd laugh in both their faces. And if I asked my friend of I could crash at his house, he's probably wonder if I was some sort of pedo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked a friend whose husband is a cop. She gave me a satisfactory response so I sent my kid off after giving her a talk about what to do if a gun was in the room with her. That mom told me I was the first person to ever ask her. We’re still friends.

Wait a minute, your kid is sleepover age and they didn’t know what to do if they see a gun? That’s something you teach a 3 year old!

I guess if you live around guns.

I am so happy my children do/did not know what guns were at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked a friend whose husband is a cop. She gave me a satisfactory response so I sent my kid off after giving her a talk about what to do if a gun was in the room with her. That mom told me I was the first person to ever ask her. We’re still friends.

Wait a minute, your kid is sleepover age and they didn’t know what to do if they see a gun? That’s something you teach a 3 year old!

I guess if you live around guns.

I am so happy my children do/did not know what guns were at that age.

I am thinking that person has never lived around 3 year olds.

My kids lived in a house with guns at 3 because their father was an LEO. We had conversations, we also had separate safes, up high, out of reach for guns and ammo. Turned out to be a good thing because there were plenty of other things my kids managed to touch after being told not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone were stupid enough to ask to see how my guns are secured, I’d just say there are no guns. My Caesar Guerini sporting clays shotgun was >$6k and my husband’s Krieghoff was three times that. I’m not giving out any details about how and where they’re stored any more than I’d answer questions about my jewelry storage.

Lairs. Another angle. No sleepovers or only those who you know very well and have spent time in their house. No male teens or babysitters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Dad here. If my wife or her friend suggested I should leave my own house for a sleepover, I'd laugh in both their faces. And if I asked my friend of I could crash at his house, he's probably wonder if I was some sort of pedo.

I understand the sentiment but laughing menacingly when someone asks you about being a pedo probably ain’t the flex you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely ask and absolutely NOT be ok with any adult males or teen-males being present in the house overnight.

So where is the dad supposed to go? Sleep at your house? You’re psycho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

DCUM unhinged insanity taken to the next level. GTFO.