Not telling camps that my kid has SN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be honest.
My kid has adhd and I put it on the form. There is space where you can write so I always say no medication or accommodations need to be given but child might be prone to being impulsive or not focused. Just so they’re aware.

NP. I am willing to disclose ADHD. It is so common nowadays. But not ASD, which may or may not be common but is misunderstood and stigmatized.

Oh, OK. Don’t disclose ASD, and avoid that stigma. Instead, subject your kid to the stigma of being thought of, called and treated “weird,” “a jerk,” “clueless,” “a loner,” “hyper,” “crazy,” “a brat,” “bossy,” “rigid,” “a loser,” or any of the other bad names that other kids or even staff members will label him as, even just in their own heads, because they don’t have the context and the staff isn’t able to provide extra support or accommodation or flexibility.

But wait. I thought ASD is so obvious that even college students can diagnose it. In which case, why would an autistic kid be labeled any of these things?

Nobody said college kids were diagnosing it, just that it is often much more obvious that there is a SN than you, the parent, think. The counselors notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how your child can have a disability -- which autism is -- but have so little impact that they can go to sleep away camp with no needed accommodations or support. Autism is a disability impacting social cognition and sleep away camp is all about social cognition.

Either you're in denial or this is an example of overdiagnosis that hurts those of us whose autistic kids need support.

M.y kids go to day camp, not sleep away camp. Also we have figured out that the more expensive, specialty camps that are highly structured, and have better staff, work, unlike the less structured camps.

Sigh. My DS works at one of these "more expensive, specialty camps that are highly structured, and have better staff". He's still just a college kid. Yesterday he had 24 8 yr olds, all day long. None of them have (supposedly) any SN. Except that two of them clearly do, according to him. So he's trying to teach and watch 24 kids and 2 are taking 50% of his focus. Nice.

A college kid = better staff than high school kids (although an expensive structured specialty camp that can afford to hire college kids doesn't tend to have 24 8 year olds running amok).

He's a grown up now. He is allowed to complain to his parents about a tough day at work, of course, but then his parents don't need complain here about his tough day at work. They tell him that's what work is. It's work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

Similar story - my DS's kindergarten teacher with 15 years of experience was absolutely baffled by him. No idea what to do with him at all.

He has significant traits of autism but is also highly gifted, very easy-going, no anxiety at all. Put it together and it's hard to know what to make of him. He was formally diagnosed at 10, which explained so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're fine, OP. My son has autism level 1 and ADHD, and I did not report any of it to short-term camp situations or weekend activities because there was no need - even though he had an IEP and was medicated so he could focus sufficiently during long hours at school. Everyone could see he was a daydreaming, quiet, inattentive sort of person right off the bat. No tantrums or emotional disturbances.

I did always report his anaphylactic allergy to nuts, and brought his Epipen.

So basically does not meet the clinical criteria of autism. Ok.

PP you replied to. He was formally diagnosed at Stixrud, but as I said, level 1: he stims at home and is able to act relatively normal at camp; he's asocial, but he's courteous and does not lose his temper easily. That sort of thing. His IEP is mainly for the low processing speed that comes with some types of inattentive ADHD. Everyone can tell he's quirky, but not in a way that necessitates disclosure of each one of his diagnoses.

And now, he's 20 and is the camp counselor, for a STEM camp!

I don't know why you need to be so rude about this. This is a spectrum, by definition. It means that not all kids on the spectrum will act the same way.

I was just reading a thread in another forum that says Stixrud will dx basically anyone with autism.

This is not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be honest.
My kid has adhd and I put it on the form. There is space where you can write so I always say no medication or accommodations need to be given but child might be prone to being impulsive or not focused. Just so they’re aware.

NP. I am willing to disclose ADHD. It is so common nowadays. But not ASD, which may or may not be common but is misunderstood and stigmatized.

Oh, OK. Don’t disclose ASD, and avoid that stigma. Instead, subject your kid to the stigma of being thought of, called and treated “weird,” “a jerk,” “clueless,” “a loner,” “hyper,” “crazy,” “a brat,” “bossy,” “rigid,” “a loser,” or any of the other bad names that other kids or even staff members will label him as, even just in their own heads, because they don’t have the context and the staff isn’t able to provide extra support or accommodation or flexibility.

But wait. I thought ASD is so obvious that even college students can diagnose it. In which case, why would an autistic kid be labeled any of these things?

Nobody said college kids were diagnosing it, just that it is often much more obvious that there is a SN than you, the parent, think. The counselors notice.

Exactly. You're not doing anyone any favors by trying to hide it. It doesn't work. People notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

so what does this prove? that some people are more perceptive about disabilities than others. not surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at camp and I can tell you that because you don’t get a phone call it doesn’t mean your child doesn’t struggle. It doesn’t take long to figure out which kids have issues that correspond to the check boxes you didn’t check. We just get through the time with your kid as best we can.

If you let us know ahead of time that your child has specific diagnoses, we can plan for them with additional staffing, or put them with more experienced counselors, in a smaller group, etc. Your child will likely have a better experience. Just because the camp didn’t call doesn’t mean there were no issues. And if your child knows their diagnosis, they might well announce it to everyone anyway.

I don’t understand why parents don’t want to be honest with people the entrust their kids to. If we know what needs your child has, we can do a better job of looking after them.

Denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

so what does this prove? that some people are more perceptive about disabilities than others. not surprising.

It means that high school and college kids, or their parents, are not the diagnosticians that they think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

Similar story - my DS's kindergarten teacher with 15 years of experience was absolutely baffled by him. No idea what to do with him at all.

He has significant traits of autism but is also highly gifted, very easy-going, no anxiety at all. Put it together and it's hard to know what to make of him. He was formally diagnosed at 10, which explained so much.

I mean, they are baffled because high functioning autism literally did not exist as a category when they started their careers- so kids who were before just nerdy or dreamy are now officially diagnosed as having disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not told day/sleepaway camps that my ES kids are special needs for the last few years, and they are fine. They are high functioning and they don't need to take medication, so it seems like the camp are not aware of it (no phone calls to report issues). They do a few different camps every summer. They have ASD, ADHD and etc.. Do I technically violate the law that I don't check the boxes that they are special needs or they have ASD & ADHD diagnosis? I don't want to go through the troubles to fill them out the part of SN because some camps request for interview or phone discussion before I can successfully enroll them. I am worried that they get rejected to join their camp, and I know my kids well enough. If they need accomondation one day, I would fill out those parts.

You think people can't tell a kid is autistic/adhd? Come on.

You 100% can. My college age DS is a counselor at a camp, and came home complaining to me about this issue. He basically just said it would be nice if they were told that some kids were going to struggle with certain issues and that it is obvious to him which of "his" kids have ASD or ADHD. It's a STEM camp for kids.

Tell them. They will assign an extra counselor, or let the counselor know what to watch for, how to help, etc. The way OP is doing it means the counselor has to come home and try to figure out what's best by talking to his parents. Not ideal.

This is BS. With due respect to your son, he is not qualified to render any such diagnoses.

You're ridiculous. He's not diagnosing anybody, but it's often obvious when someone is ND. I doubt he's going home and saying "Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 with concomitant Anxiety and Inattentive ADHD".

DP

My kid's Kindergarten teacher who has 30 years of experience openly told us she would not have guessed kid has ASD. She doesn't dispute the diagnosis at all and sees the signs since we brought the diagnosis to her attention. She is a fantastic teacher, and she is not qualified to identify kids with ASD (nor does she pretend to be).

so what does this prove? that some people are more perceptive about disabilities than others. not surprising.

It means kids that are just a hair shy of being normal (like OP’s kids) are now being diagnosed with autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, please don't do this. One of my kids was recently a counselor for a child with ASD whose parents didn't disclose. The counselors -- all hs and college-aged -- had no notice, no prep, and no training to enable them to serve this child well. Ultimately, the camp redid its staffing ratio to provide 1:1 supervision for the child, at the expense of all others.

You know your kids well enough when they are in your care. What you know with certainty stops when you send your kids to a new environment to be supervised by others.

Super selfish move not to disclose.

I think our kids are counselors at the same camp. That week was rough on the counselors and impacted all of the campers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work at camp and I can tell you that because you don’t get a phone call it doesn’t mean your child doesn’t struggle. It doesn’t take long to figure out which kids have issues that correspond to the check boxes you didn’t check. We just get through the time with your kid as best we can.

If you let us know ahead of time that your child has specific diagnoses, we can plan for them with additional staffing, or put them with more experienced counselors, in a smaller group, etc. Your child will likely have a better experience. Just because the camp didn’t call doesn’t mean there were no issues. And if your child knows their diagnosis, they might well announce it to everyone anyway.

I don’t understand why parents don’t want to be honest with people the entrust their kids to. If we know what needs your child has, we can do a better job of looking after them.

Denial.

Not denial in my case. If all I said was “my kid has autism” you would have zero idea what to actually expect. The only thing is explains in advance now is his stimming (and some kids with autism that is more severe in some ways than him stim a lot less prominently, so even that is very variable). Depending on who I am talking to I may or may not give the diagnosis but I definitely give a full description of the types of challenges they might see and how to best accommodate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, please don't do this. One of my kids was recently a counselor for a child with ASD whose parents didn't disclose. The counselors -- all hs and college-aged -- had no notice, no prep, and no training to enable them to serve this child well. Ultimately, the camp redid its staffing ratio to provide 1:1 supervision for the child, at the expense of all others.

You know your kids well enough when they are in your care. What you know with certainty stops when you send your kids to a new environment to be supervised by others.

Super selfish move not to disclose.

I think our kids are counselors at the same camp. That week was rough on the counselors and impacted all of the campers.

What were the behaviors?