MIL forgot my birthday amidst her pettiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another poster who thinks it would only be important that your MIL forgot your birthday if you were, like, 12.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your sign to drop the rope. You know, the rope you never should have picked up in the first place. You should have recognized and respected that your husband has chosen not to observe these kinds of niceties, probably because she is so petty and vindictive, and he’s had to deal with that for decades.

Drop the rope. Don’t insert yourself. Stop. If he’s not making an effort, and his parents aren’t making an effort, why are you? Stop. Just stop. Really.

THIS! Your DH established techniques to manage his mother way before you came along. Those techniques may seem odd/cold to you but he prob established them as a way deal with his mother’s pettiness. You know who she is and how she acts to loved ones, why do you even want a birthday wish from her???

[Anonymous]

You have permission to forget her birthday guilt free.

[Anonymous]

I deal with someone like this. When she lied to me about something, I almost sent an email. Then, I decided silence was the way.

I'm not going to feed the narcissist's supply and need for drama and chaos. Nothing will change if I say something about it either, so why bother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult. It’s okay if your MIL does not acknowledge your birthday this year or any other year.

If true, then OP can drop the rope and stop all gifts and communications related to birthdays and holidays for MIL and any other ILs.

Free yourself, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult. It’s okay if your MIL does not acknowledge your birthday this year or any other year.

+1
And you’re not her child.

[Anonymous]

You are an adult. No one other than your husband needs to acknowledge your birthday.

[Anonymous]

My husband has a strained relationship with his mother. He has never once done anything for her birthday and neither have I. I was so glad when she stopped observing mine! It was always awkward and felt like a power play —- like she was trying to get access to him through me. It’s not my place to repair their relationship.

My mom usually calls for his bday but not always. Sometimes she even forgets mine. And sometimes I forget hers for a day or so. It’s all fine.