College student spending of mom and dad's money

[Anonymous]

I would also start having conversations about life after college with DC. Do you intend to supplement once they graduate? Who will pay for the extra semester or year if they can't do finish school in the standard time?

[Anonymous]

Hello OP! It is never too late to have a conversation with your child about financial matters. Sit them down and talk over what you are happy to cover, and what you expect them to cover. Communication and clear expectations are key. This can be remedied. My oldest (home from his 1st year at college) rarely spends anything. He has access to a credit card in his name that we pay - we tell him to put school books and food on this card, his own credit card (that he pays), and his own savings and checking accounts. We are more than happy to pay for pretty much anything for him, as he wants very little. Our high school age daughter, has a credit card in her name that I pay (under my card), and a savings account. We pay for a lot of her fun activities, although she gets an allowance. We did sit down and discuss what we think is fair with her, and she is on board. In our case, we will pay for a few lunches/dinners with friends a week. After that, she has to cover them. Sometimes, I offer to pay for extras for her and she is always appreciative. She did just secure her first summer job (starts in a few weeks) and we are encouraging her to put the money that she earns in a ROTH IRA instead of asking her to use it for extras. When our oldest gets an internship next summer, we will encourage him to put the max into a ROTH IRA and not to use the money he earns too. Every family has different ways of handling finances with kids, but the key is deciding what works for you all and then clearly communicating it to your child. It might be that you say you'll pay for 2 meals out a week and she asks you to pay for 3 instead. Speak with your spouse before you have the conversation with your child and decide what you both are comfortable with. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand parents like you.

My sibling complains all the time about how expensive all her children are at college. Uber eats, etc.

We told our kids we would pay for health care, tuition, room, board, a computer books and a reasonable amount of clothes and toiletries, and train tickets back home a few times a year. Beyond that, they are on their own. Pizza, beer, ubereats, Starbucks, Sephora, hair highlights, etc, they need to fund out of their summer jobs.

+1 this is exactly us, too

[Anonymous]

I also match her earnings and deposit into her Roth IRA annually. She spends her summer job earnings on extras like makeup and eating out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay our college kids tuition, room and board (and pay them the amount we would have paid for meals on campus as they move off campus and don't want to swipe any more). Summers they work for the rest (what we call pizza and beer money). They have their own cc (student ones, very low limits, one started at $400, now up to $900).

This is on you for giving them your card with no limits. They need to learn to prioritize what to spend money on, and they do that by spending their own money, not mommy and daddy's money. Be a parent, take away the card and have them get a job

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Here is how we set the budget:

- at average utility bills for 12 months (and then divided by 12) to get a monthly rate.
- assumed a certain amount every 2 weeks for groceries, then multiplied by 2.5 for a month.
- Added in the fixed prices for internet, etc.
- Added in about $20 for gasoline.
- Added in about $20 fun money per month.

Kiddo's exact rent amount is transferred on the 25th (due to landlord on the 30th) and the above amount is transferred on the 1st. Kiddo knows if they spend MORE than the fixed amount, they pay for it. Kiddo knows if they spend less, they keep it.

Kiddo is not an authorized user on our credit cards because that just leads to mooching off mom and dad. Kiddo has a their own credit card and impressive credit score for a 20-year old with only a minimum wage job a few months a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't unspoil milk.

You can use it and ask at the same way that you would use buttermilk though

[Anonymous]

We pay rent and give them a budget (cc) for food.

The budget is $500/mth.

When home I cook if they want to eat out they use their own money.

If I say “I didn’t cook tonight” they use my money to get food or eat left overs.

If they need extra that is out of their budget which is usually concert tickets/sports tickets and/or golfing they ask if they can use my credit card and I usually say yes. Sometime they pay for that themselves, sometimes I pay.

My son graduated last year and had a job until he was laid off in February. He had money saved to cover 6 months of bills. Now he has about 3 months of a buffer and we offered to buy his new clothes for his new job since the new job is more formal.

Everyone has different budgets and relationship with money. Do what you think is right but be cognizant of how your relationship with money will affect your decision.

[Anonymous]

MY kid has my credit card, but she is very careful about using it. She uses it to buy her train tickets home, medical expenses / toiletries, school supplies, and minor other things. I'll occasionally tell her to get dinner out on me if things are stressful. Otherwise she pays for things out of her earnings from summer/school year work. We did also give her $80 a month, (1/2 in checking, 1/2 in her savings) during her senior year of high school and kept that up during freshman and sophomore years of college. By then she didn't need our extra cash anymore. When we weren't paying for a meal plan, she could use our card at the grocery store but she's not the type to overspend, and if she was, we'd cut it off.

[Anonymous]

You take the card away, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Both of my boys have a card and though we never really set expectations, one has never used it and the other has only used it for travel from college and only after asking if was alright. I'm surprised, but they turned out to be very frugal kids. In college they have had few needs that aren't covered by room and board or their summer earnings.

[Anonymous]

You’ve created a monster. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, teach your kid some
boundaries/manners. And the value of a dollar.

Tell her to get a GD job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is how we set the budget:

- at average utility bills for 12 months (and then divided by 12) to get a monthly rate.
- assumed a certain amount every 2 weeks for groceries, then multiplied by 2.5 for a month.
- Added in the fixed prices for internet, etc.
- Added in about $20 for gasoline.
- Added in about $20 fun money per month.

Kiddo's exact rent amount is transferred on the 25th (due to landlord on the 30th) and the above amount is transferred on the 1st. Kiddo knows if they spend MORE than the fixed amount, they pay for it. Kiddo knows if they spend less, they keep it.

Kiddo is not an authorized user on our credit cards because that just leads to mooching off mom and dad. Kiddo has a their own credit card and impressive credit score for a 20-year old with only a minimum wage job a few months a year.

Kiddo??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why parents should pay for Ubereats when they are already covering board (meal plan).

+1 my DD won't even spend her own money on that stuff. She says why should I buy food out when my meal plan is all you can eat. She just picks up things from the dining hall to keep in her room. At most she'll buy a drink (one drink) when hanging out with friends. She's very much a tightwad with her own money!