College student spending of mom and dad's money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding, OP? Goodness.

Your kid should get a job.

I have two teens: one in college. Both have had jobs since they were 16.

We don't give them our cc. They got their own. 19 yr old DC is super proud of their 750 credit score they built up on their own.

You are not teaching your kids to be independent adults.

OP is barely an independent adult needing to crowd source this very basic thing...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our three had jobs and we never shared a credit card with them. If you don’t stop now you’ll be subsidizing her for years to come after she graduates.

I don't believe in that at all.

I believe that you have to make sure that your kids know what their goals are for their own wellbeing - mental/physical health, reputation, growth, good socialization, networking, education/skills, financial success, future family, future career and employment and they are always working towards that. This might mean that they are working with zero pay in research opportunities or internships etc. They should always have the assurance that their parents will have their back and they can concentrate on being students.

[Anonymous]

My daughters friends in HS have $500-$750 a week allowances so my kid feels poor. Today that is how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our three had jobs and we never shared a credit card with them. If you don’t stop now you’ll be subsidizing her for years to come after she graduates.

I don't believe in that at all.

I believe that you have to make sure that your kids know what their goals are for their own wellbeing - mental/physical health, reputation, growth, good socialization, networking, education/skills, financial success, future family, future career and employment and they are always working towards that. This might mean that they are working with zero pay in research opportunities or internships etc. They should always have the assurance that their parents will have their back and they can concentrate on being students.

Functioning adults can do both - be good students and have a PT job, especially in the summer.

I would never allow my children to be homeless, but I expect them to be able to have a PT job in the summer, at least.

I worked my way through college to pay for college, car and insurance. It was tough. We are fortunate that our kids don't have to do what I had to do, but they can certainly handle working a couple of hours during the school year, and more hours during the summer for spending money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughters friends in HS have $500-$750 a week allowances so my kid feels poor. Today that is how it is.

Glad I don't live where you live.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand parents like you.

My sibling complains all the time about how expensive all her children are at college. Uber eats, etc.

We told our kids we would pay for health care, tuition, room, board, a computer books and a reasonable amount of clothes and toiletries, and train tickets back home a few times a year. Beyond that, they are on their own. Pizza, beer, ubereats, Starbucks, Sephora, hair highlights, etc, they need to fund out of their summer jobs.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why parents should pay for Ubereats when they are already covering board (meal plan).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughters friends in HS have $500-$750 a week allowances so my kid feels poor. Today that is how it is.

Private or public?

[Anonymous]

To answer your question Op, Well I don't give them a credit card!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 20 year old is home from college for the summer. We share our credit card with her for various purchases while at school, but now feel like she's spending too much of OUR money and not earning enough of her own. Any guidance on how families deal with providing financial support to their college students? I'm having a hard time figuring out the guidelines. We can afford to support her in all her desires to go to Chipotle, Starbuck, Chick Fila, Sushi, etc but don't want the purse wide open since that's not a good lesson in life. What do other families do?

Why are you giving them money they need a job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughters friends in HS have $500-$750 a week allowances so my kid feels poor. Today that is how it is.

No it is not .

I live in the world of the 1 percenters no one I know does this .

[Anonymous]

Our kid gets a set amount transferred from us to them every month this summer. They have a debit card and are responsible for making it all work. It's easier because they have a job this summer so they are putting a bit into savings for next school year.

If they need more for a bigger purchase, they need to come to us and ask for it. (Laptop? Yes, but not too fancy. Ticket to London to visit high school friend? No.)

And absolutely no credit cards or loans.

[Anonymous]

You really need to ask? You tell them to cut that $hit out. If they don't you take the credit card away (or just turn it off).

We have 3 kids and one spends like there is no tomorrow. If we notice her spending too much we tell her she needs to cut it out. She does stop and we rarely have to tell her these days but when she was younger she would spend a lot. She has a summer and job and now spends a lot of her money but sometimes she slips back into spending a lot of ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is there NO budget? When I paid room and board for my kids at college, I gave them enough cash to include pizza money once/week. The shared credit card should have limitations (books and x amount for the month for incidentals). Just because you are able to afford it doesn’t mean you should. Does she have a 40 hour a week summer job? How do you expect her to afford her lifestyle once she graduates? Read old posts about parents who “subsidize” their adult children. Teach her before it’s too late.

Agree! But it is harder to track logistically now that everything is electronic. Much easier before when my parents gave me $100 for the month and anything beyond that was on me. It would be nice if credit cards could track by person using the card, even if the same account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, come on. What is she doing this summer? Is she working? Is she taking classes? Is she volunteering? I think you need to set a budget for her that’s modest, and then anything above that she has to figure it out. That would be the good lesson.

+1