Frumpy old dad laid off

[Anonymous]

Short men have lots of energy — highlight that. They also just have a confidence many tall lanky guys lack. Highlight your positives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can go to school on a Pell grant and not be frumpy. You made $220k, someone who would be hired for that will have well fitting, attractive clothes, polished shoes, nice shirts. And a nice tie or two.

Back before covid I used to see people clearly not on a career ladder that went up wearing frumpy stuff from 10 or 20 years ago. Don't be that guy.

$200k is barely middle class in the DMV, OP is shopping at at old navy and H&M.

[Anonymous]

OP for the love of god do not risk dyeing your hair! It almost never looks good on a man and sometimes it looks so bad it is the equivalent of a skew toupee in the perception of the millennial HM interviewing you. You will not lose out on a job bc you have gray hair. You will lose out on a job if you have gray hair and a horrible haircut or even worse dyed hair that looks like you did it at home with shoe polish. Don’t take the risk! And stop convincing yourself that being short is a huge problem. It’s not. Looking like you don’t care about your appearance, a cheap suit, a lackluster personality, not showing humor and humility, being low energy, these are the things that will doom you. You sound like a nice person. Be confident and put your best foot forward and something will happen for you!

[Anonymous]

I’m a somewhat frumpy woman who married a tech man who went to college on a Pell grant. When I returned to work after DD #2 and was still nursing, I had a work trip come up. I used the professional shopper at Nordstrom (which is free) and left with some really great outfits that they showed me how to mix and match. It was a just a few piecess, though not cheap. I got nice slacks - one pair in black and one in back. 2 blouses, a blazer, a cardigan, and a dress. I tried it again a few years later to rehaul my work outfit, they didn’t ask as many questions in advance, and everything was awful. Like I was a 40 something Fed looking for work clothes and the woman brought in a tank top and fitted leather pants. That said, I’ve certainly thought of trying it again. For something like interview outfits I think they could really help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My contract was killed and I’ve been laid off by my contracting company. I’m somewhat technical, having worked in computational aspects of environmental field, but the demand is not there for my specific experience.

I’m 51 years old, short and overweight, grey hair — I’m very much the dorky dad, and partly overweight because we are working parents of 3 boys and my typical schedule is arrive home at 7, scarf some food down from whatever is leftover or frozen and run a kid off to practice or help with homework. So little time to exercise or make a healthy meal for myself.

Well, until now — so now I’m hitting the gym and eating way better (no snacking at the office!), but it’s not going transform me into a dashing captain of industry over night, and being short seems to be especially bad these days (judging from the short boss thread). When I was younger I definitely didn’t feel it was quite as much a handicap, I think everyone posting their height on OLD result brought it into the zeitgeist?

I made $220k at last job and would like to come close to that. I’ve interviewed for dozens of jobs but no offers and I am pretty sure my dad vibes and lack of executive presence is killing me for senior roles. Considering becoming a science teacher but that will be a huge step down income. It will likely mean we have to move eventually once emergency fund runs out.

Any one BTDT? I hear about the fit executives jumping back in no problem, but not sure what is out there for us down the totem poll.

What are you skills and background? That is the most important, if its a niche BS govt job you need to find something that is useful in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP for the love of god do not risk dyeing your hair! It almost never looks good on a man and sometimes it looks so bad it is the equivalent of a skew toupee in the perception of the millennial HM interviewing you. You will not lose out on a job bc you have gray hair. You will lose out on a job if you have gray hair and a horrible haircut or even worse dyed hair that looks like you did it at home with shoe polish. Don’t take the risk! And stop convincing yourself that being short is a huge problem. It’s not. Looking like you don’t care about your appearance, a cheap suit, a lackluster personality, not showing humor and humility, being low energy, these are the things that will doom you. You sound like a nice person. Be confident and put your best foot forward and something will happen for you!

I can’t comment on if my personality is lackluster, but I am high energy, generally positive and appreciate humor (but I am
not an elaborate joke teller, more dad jokes or wry observations), and definitely am polite and humble. I don’t have the confidence and swagger of say a sales person, and readily acknowledge when they ask about a skill that perhaps I’m not the strongest on.

Should I pretend confidence even more, ie do the hard sell? I’ll work on my appearance but I’m pretty neatly kept though well fitting clothes for short fat man require lots of tailoring — there’s no big and short stores!

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a somewhat frumpy woman who married a tech man who went to college on a Pell grant. When I returned to work after DD #2 and was still nursing, I had a work trip come up. I used the professional shopper at Nordstrom (which is free) and left with some really great outfits that they showed me how to mix and match. It was a just a few piecess, though not cheap. I got nice slacks - one pair in black and one in back. 2 blouses, a blazer, a cardigan, and a dress. I tried it again a few years later to rehaul my work outfit, they didn’t ask as many questions in advance, and everything was awful. Like I was a 40 something Fed looking for work clothes and the woman brought in a tank top and fitted leather pants. That said, I’ve certainly thought of trying it again. For something like interview outfits I think they could really help.

Haha, the Pell grant wasn’t about my clothes, it was about some suggesting fat man can be CEOs, even short ones, but the examples given all had billionaire fathers setting them up.

I can try Nordstrom shopping, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My contract was killed and I’ve been laid off by my contracting company. I’m somewhat technical, having worked in computational aspects of environmental field, but the demand is not there for my specific experience.

I’m 51 years old, short and overweight, grey hair — I’m very much the dorky dad, and partly overweight because we are working parents of 3 boys and my typical schedule is arrive home at 7, scarf some food down from whatever is leftover or frozen and run a kid off to practice or help with homework. So little time to exercise or make a healthy meal for myself.

Well, until now — so now I’m hitting the gym and eating way better (no snacking at the office!), but it’s not going transform me into a dashing captain of industry over night, and being short seems to be especially bad these days (judging from the short boss thread). When I was younger I definitely didn’t feel it was quite as much a handicap, I think everyone posting their height on OLD result brought it into the zeitgeist?

I made $220k at last job and would like to come close to that. I’ve interviewed for dozens of jobs but no offers and I am pretty sure my dad vibes and lack of executive presence is killing me for senior roles. Considering becoming a science teacher but that will be a huge step down income. It will likely mean we have to move eventually once emergency fund runs out.

Any one BTDT? I hear about the fit executives jumping back in no problem, but not sure what is out there for us down the totem poll.

What are you skills and background? That is the most important, if its a niche BS govt job you need to find something that is useful in the real world.

Obv want to stay anonymous here but I’m mechanical engineer by training, good college, but been working 20 years in this niche that is somewhat limited. Tried moving several times to big tech but never even got past phone screen, I think my background and work experience is just not aligned and I was probably always a little old for someone not already working in Big Tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My contract was killed and I’ve been laid off by my contracting company. I’m somewhat technical, having worked in computational aspects of environmental field, but the demand is not there for my specific experience.

I’m 51 years old, short and overweight, grey hair — I’m very much the dorky dad, and partly overweight because we are working parents of 3 boys and my typical schedule is arrive home at 7, scarf some food down from whatever is leftover or frozen and run a kid off to practice or help with homework. So little time to exercise or make a healthy meal for myself.

Well, until now — so now I’m hitting the gym and eating way better (no snacking at the office!), but it’s not going transform me into a dashing captain of industry over night, and being short seems to be especially bad these days (judging from the short boss thread). When I was younger I definitely didn’t feel it was quite as much a handicap, I think everyone posting their height on OLD result brought it into the zeitgeist?

I made $220k at last job and would like to come close to that. I’ve interviewed for dozens of jobs but no offers and I am pretty sure my dad vibes and lack of executive presence is killing me for senior roles. Considering becoming a science teacher but that will be a huge step down income. It will likely mean we have to move eventually once emergency fund runs out.

Any one BTDT? I hear about the fit executives jumping back in no problem, but not sure what is out there for us down the totem poll.

What are you skills and background? That is the most important, if its a niche BS govt job you need to find something that is useful in the real world.

Obv want to stay anonymous here but I’m mechanical engineer by training, good college, but been working 20 years in this niche that is somewhat limited. Tried moving several times to big tech but never even got past phone screen, I think my background and work experience is just not aligned and I was probably always a little old for someone not already working in Big Tech.

Try Chime, Wise, Toro, Vara all hiring and need a grey haired old guy to keep the kids in line

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can go to school on a Pell grant and not be frumpy. You made $220k, someone who would be hired for that will have well fitting, attractive clothes, polished shoes, nice shirts. And a nice tie or two.

Back before covid I used to see people clearly not on a career ladder that went up wearing frumpy stuff from 10 or 20 years ago. Don't be that guy.

A starched HM shirt works perfectly fine. No need to shell out for $200 polyester crap.
$200k is barely middle class in the DMV, OP is shopping at at old navy and H&M.

[Anonymous]

I've seen women's and men's suits--new with tags--at the thrift stores like Goodwill, Salvation Army...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My contract was killed and I’ve been laid off by my contracting company. I’m somewhat technical, having worked in computational aspects of environmental field, but the demand is not there for my specific experience.

I’m 51 years old, short and overweight, grey hair — I’m very much the dorky dad, and partly overweight because we are working parents of 3 boys and my typical schedule is arrive home at 7, scarf some food down from whatever is leftover or frozen and run a kid off to practice or help with homework. So little time to exercise or make a healthy meal for myself.

Well, until now — so now I’m hitting the gym and eating way better (no snacking at the office!), but it’s not going transform me into a dashing captain of industry over night, and being short seems to be especially bad these days (judging from the short boss thread). When I was younger I definitely didn’t feel it was quite as much a handicap, I think everyone posting their height on OLD result brought it into the zeitgeist?

I made $220k at last job and would like to come close to that. I’ve interviewed for dozens of jobs but no offers and I am pretty sure my dad vibes and lack of executive presence is killing me for senior roles. Considering becoming a science teacher but that will be a huge step down income. It will likely mean we have to move eventually once emergency fund runs out.

Any one BTDT? I hear about the fit executives jumping back in no problem, but not sure what is out there for us down the totem poll.

What are you skills and background? That is the most important, if its a niche BS govt job you need to find something that is useful in the real world.

Obv want to stay anonymous here but I’m mechanical engineer by training, good college, but been working 20 years in this niche that is somewhat limited. Tried moving several times to big tech but never even got past phone screen, I think my background and work experience is just not aligned and I was probably always a little old for someone not already working in Big Tech.

Can you pivot to analytics job? Some consulting firms in DMV love engineers, also check out financial services like Freddie.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a very sweet, competent, and self-aware person. That alone will help you a lot because I bet people like working with you. Don’t be so hard on yourself & good luck.

[Anonymous]

My husband is in a very similar situation and I don't recommend the teacher route. He got laid off a few years ago and he did the STEM teacher certification program offered by Maryland. He taught for two years. But it was really not worth the money. He only made 60K and it was a super stressful job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a very sweet, competent, and self-aware person. That alone will help you a lot because I bet people like working with you. Don’t be so hard on yourself & good luck.

+1. Agree on the suit and haircut, keep working on the fitness. But seems like you have a great personality and that will help loads at interviews. If you wear glasses get some trendy ones.