Frumpy old dad laid off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

Figure out where people older than you are still working.

Look up people you went to school with on LinkedIn. High school through grad school. See if there are any you can reach out to.

A lot of HR front end recruiters are young, personable, and dumb. And AI applicant tracking systems go for keyword matching. Which mean newer jobs look more relevant just because of buzzwords.

Work any loose, informal "older" contacts you can.

Also don't blame yourself for societal problems like ageism. If there was anything about the Boomers' "all about me" generational behavior that I hoped would have spillover benefits, it was a hope for reduced ageism in the workplace. Many of the Boomers around me just wouldn't quit despite having defined benefit pensions that younger workers don't have. Unfortunately, I think Gen-X is going to have to shoulder this task too.

A lot of agism really stems from boomers toxic behaviors. I am a millennial HM who was bullied and managed out by boomer managers, I still suffer from PTSD. Cognitive decline is real and instead of trusting their employees to handle those tasks, they weaponized against their own teams. It will be a lot of convincing for me to hire another 70 year old. That being said, nothing OP needs to be concerned just yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

We are structured so I’m not waiting at practice, in usually have to drive off for someone carpool or errand during that time.

I think I walk plenty — I average about 12k steps a day. And I go to the gym about 2-3 times a week for circuit training weights

Diet is a problem and lack of sleep. I get home late and eat what ever leftovers or quick cook I can scarf down hungrily, and often am staying up late cleaning (Dw works about 50 hrs a week so is often working at night after dinner)

If you are struggling to fit in basic human function, maybe the kids can help out with household instead of going to practice?

[Anonymous]

You sound like you're humble and modest and have a good sense of humor. That will work to your advantage.

Don't leave off dates on your applications and resumes. I used to hire people and I just thought that was dumb.

I would get a good haircut but don't use hair dye. I think it always looks fake on men. Invest in a good suit, get it tailored. Go to Nordstrom or sime place like that. When you get hired, buy some new nice clothes that are not too trendy but look fresh and new. Maybe contacts instead of glasses if you wear them or an updated pair of glasses.

51 is not that old. Lose some weight if you need to. Try weight loss drugs if needed. Get under eye surgery if you have eye bags. But don't do more surgery because it doesn't usually work out well for men. Upper eye surgery can result in a startled look on men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

We are structured so I’m not waiting at practice, in usually have to drive off for someone carpool or errand during that time.

I think I walk plenty — I average about 12k steps a day. And I go to the gym about 2-3 times a week for circuit training weights

Diet is a problem and lack of sleep. I get home late and eat what ever leftovers or quick cook I can scarf down hungrily, and often am staying up late cleaning (Dw works about 50 hrs a week so is often working at night after dinner)

If you are struggling to fit in basic human function, maybe the kids can help out with household instead of going to practice?

If your wife works 50 hours a week why work at all. Be a stay at home Dad.

[Anonymous]

I'm really skeptical about the hair dye - I think it looks fake on men, and growing it out sucks - but otherwise you are getting great advice here. It's fine that you are short, older, etc. Dress well and project confidence. If you can afford a couple hours with a speaking coach or interview coach, do that.

I'm in the energy sector - have you looked into project management or regulatory compliance for installers, generators, site developers, etc.? Your knowledge would be relevant and help you get up to speed quickly.

[Anonymous]

How do people know you are short on a zoom interview?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

We are structured so I’m not waiting at practice, in usually have to drive off for someone carpool or errand during that time.

I think I walk plenty — I average about 12k steps a day. And I go to the gym about 2-3 times a week for circuit training weights

Diet is a problem and lack of sleep. I get home late and eat what ever leftovers or quick cook I can scarf down hungrily, and often am staying up late cleaning (Dw works about 50 hrs a week so is often working at night after dinner)

If you are struggling to fit in basic human function, maybe the kids can help out with household instead of going to practice?

If your wife works 50 hours a week why work at all. Be a stay at home Dad.

No one needs to make bezos / musk / another CEO richer by sacrificing their dinner. Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

We are structured so I’m not waiting at practice, in usually have to drive off for someone carpool or errand during that time.

I think I walk plenty — I average about 12k steps a day. And I go to the gym about 2-3 times a week for circuit training weights

Diet is a problem and lack of sleep. I get home late and eat what ever leftovers or quick cook I can scarf down hungrily, and often am staying up late cleaning (Dw works about 50 hrs a week so is often working at night after dinner)

If you are struggling to fit in basic human function, maybe the kids can help out with household instead of going to practice?

If your wife works 50 hours a week why work at all. Be a stay at home Dad.

Not all demanding jobs pay that much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do people know you are short on a zoom interview?

I'm definitely short enough thats noticable. I'm 5'4".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My contract was killed and I’ve been laid off by my contracting company. I’m somewhat technical, having worked in computational aspects of environmental field, but the demand is not there for my specific experience.

I’m 51 years old, short and overweight, grey hair — I’m very much the dorky dad, and partly overweight because we are working parents of 3 boys and my typical schedule is arrive home at 7, scarf some food down from whatever is leftover or frozen and run a kid off to practice or help with homework. So little time to exercise or make a healthy meal for myself.

Well, until now — so now I’m hitting the gym and eating way better (no snacking at the office!), but it’s not going transform me into a dashing captain of industry over night, and being short seems to be especially bad these days (judging from the short boss thread). When I was younger I definitely didn’t feel it was quite as much a handicap, I think everyone posting their height on OLD result brought it into the zeitgeist?

I made $220k at last job and would like to come close to that. I’ve interviewed for dozens of jobs but no offers and I am pretty sure my dad vibes and lack of executive presence is killing me for senior roles. Considering becoming a science teacher but that will be a huge step down income. It will likely mean we have to move eventually once emergency fund runs out.

Any one BTDT? I hear about the fit executives jumping back in no problem, but not sure what is out there for us down the totem poll.

Age discrimination is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need fancy hair cut and color (highlight mixed with lowlights etc), skincare, exercise (not for the weight but for the mood and confidence). A lot of hiring managers are young now, you need to be able to get on with their sense of humor.

Curious about sense of humor, is there homework for that?!

I was pretty dang confident until this round of interviews, but will keep up exercise.

I'm not sure I can color my hair; I have allergies and skin sensitives -- its very likely to give me a rash. Should I do a crew cut rather than a longer hair style? shave bald which gives sense of mystery... but bald frumpy white guy seems worse!!

My facial skin is actually pretty good, because of the treatment for my skin issues it gives me a glow almost, so I got that.

You can make dies at home using natural ingredients that should be ok - beets, indigo etc.

If you want to turn your hair purple.

[Anonymous]

I don't think people care about your height.

Get in shape. Buy one good interview suit. Make sure you have two suits and two ties that look good with it. Shine your shoes. Don't shave your head, but consider cutting it pretty short. Ask your wife and barber about that idea.

[Anonymous]

I don't know when you last looked for a job but it's harder when you are more senior. Not just age. There are fewer senior roles up the pyramid. Stick with it! And do some mock interviews to make sure you are presenting well. (You may be fine, and just not coming in first. It happens.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think people care about your height.

Get in shape. Buy one good interview suit. Make sure you have two suits and two ties that look good with it. Shine your shoes. Don't shave your head, but consider cutting it pretty short. Ask your wife and barber about that idea.

I didn’t really think about it much until I was reading threads on here — the short boss one was very telling that people have lots of preconceived notions of how a short man will act!

[Anonymous]

You can go to school on a Pell grant and not be frumpy. You made $220k, someone who would be hired for that will have well fitting, attractive clothes, polished shoes, nice shirts. And a nice tie or two.

Back before covid I used to see people clearly not on a career ladder that went up wearing frumpy stuff from 10 or 20 years ago. Don't be that guy.