Frumpy old dad laid off

[Anonymous]

Check out cam the barber on Instagram, he does some amazing transformations for men who are losing their hair. The JuarezLeiteOficial account is also really helpful for this, he kind of draws the angles to consider over his client's faces to flatter them best - kind of hard to explain, but worth a watch! Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

Figure out where people older than you are still working.

Look up people you went to school with on LinkedIn. High school through grad school. See if there are any you can reach out to.

A lot of HR front end recruiters are young, personable, and dumb. And AI applicant tracking systems go for keyword matching. Which mean newer jobs look more relevant just because of buzzwords.

Work any loose, informal "older" contacts you can.

Also don't blame yourself for societal problems like ageism. If there was anything about the Boomers' "all about me" generational behavior that I hoped would have spillover benefits, it was a hope for reduced ageism in the workplace. Many of the Boomers around me just wouldn't quit despite having defined benefit pensions that younger workers don't have. Unfortunately, I think Gen-X is going to have to shoulder this task too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need fancy hair cut and color (highlight mixed with lowlights etc), skincare, exercise (not for the weight but for the mood and confidence). A lot of hiring managers are young now, you need to be able to get on with their sense of humor.

Curious about sense of humor, is there homework for that?!

I was pretty dang confident until this round of interviews, but will keep up exercise.

I'm not sure I can color my hair; I have allergies and skin sensitives -- its very likely to give me a rash. Should I do a crew cut rather than a longer hair style? shave bald which gives sense of mystery... but bald frumpy white guy seems worse!!

My facial skin is actually pretty good, because of the treatment for my skin issues it gives me a glow almost, so I got that.

You can make dies at home using natural ingredients that should be ok - beets, indigo etc.

[Anonymous]

I think this is more a demeanor issue than looks.

Young people don't want their leadership questioned by direct reports with experience. It's easier just to hire new, shiny people and train them.

They know how old you are regardless of looks. So don't overfocus on hair color.

[Anonymous]

Boomers still in workforce dont like to hire someone just as qualified as them or more who are like 5-15 years younger for less pay as they become second in charge for much cheaper that are ready to take their job by attempting to push them out and backstabbing or just company see a cheaper younger person who can do same thing for less.

Interviewed a few roles where boss of area was 55-64 had 4-5 areas report to him and each report had no clue what happened in other areas. None had Deputies or second in charges. As soon as they realized I know all the areas they wanted nothing to do with me. I was more than willing and happy to do a small piece of the work. But I think they were scared if I took that lower level job at less pay their job was in jeopordy.

My old friend did this and he used to joke I hire anyone as long as they are not between the ages 30-60. He wanted them to old not to be considered to take his job and just happy to have a job or so young not qualified.

He was 58 at time

[Anonymous]

OP, your "frump" isn't a turn off--your salary history or requirements are the turn off. Face it, you were overpaid as a "somewhat technical" government contractor (and good for you for raking it in while it lasted). I work for a large company on a technical classified/SCI contract and only management or principals or subject matter experts make over $200k salaries! These days, Contractors on unclassified or non-SCI contracts make apx $150k or less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

We are structured so I’m not waiting at practice, in usually have to drive off for someone carpool or errand during that time.

I think I walk plenty — I average about 12k steps a day. And I go to the gym about 2-3 times a week for circuit training weights

Diet is a problem and lack of sleep. I get home late and eat what ever leftovers or quick cook I can scarf down hungrily, and often am staying up late cleaning (Dw works about 50 hrs a week so is often working at night after dinner)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, your "frump" isn't a turn off--your salary history or requirements are the turn off. Face it, you were overpaid as a "somewhat technical" government contractor (and good for you for raking it in while it lasted). I work for a large company on a technical classified/SCI contract and only management or principals or subject matter experts make over $200k salaries! These days, Contractors on unclassified or non-SCI contracts make apx $150k or less.

I’m not demanding $220k, I don’t actually make any salary requirements and let them we the salary. I’ll take much lower but I don’t want to lowball of course. Right now it’s $0! I’m pulling espressos on weekends and some midweek.

I mean I’m an expert in wind turbines and other mechanical energy generation — I just can’t whiz bang the latest GPT python framework into a docker instance, because we used older and simpler systems since we weren’t massively paralleled like a consumer facing application or AI process. I don’t think I was over paid, but most of the commercial jobs aren’t in this region hence why I was contractor (DW is very DC bound career).

If I got dropped when we discussed salary, sure I would believe it but it’s always after the first video chat or in person interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:51 is not even that old. And if you're at practices nonstop- walk the track while the kids practice. That's what all the moms are doing. I like to listen to audio books while I do so.

Definitely agree on skincare, clothes, hair cut. Do you have a wife or a female friend who could advise?

220k is a pretty high salary. A TON of feds were just laid off in this area and their salaries are more like 100-160k, so you have a lot of competition for wages. They likely have the same skills or degrees too.

Figure out where people older than you are still working.

Look up people you went to school with on LinkedIn. High school through grad school. See if there are any you can reach out to.

A lot of HR front end recruiters are young, personable, and dumb. And AI applicant tracking systems go for keyword matching. Which mean newer jobs look more relevant just because of buzzwords.

Work any loose, informal "older" contacts you can.

Also don't blame yourself for societal problems like ageism. If there was anything about the Boomers' "all about me" generational behavior that I hoped would have spillover benefits, it was a hope for reduced ageism in the workplace. Many of the Boomers around me just wouldn't quit despite having defined benefit pensions that younger workers don't have. Unfortunately, I think Gen-X is going to have to shoulder this task too.

Hard to really gauge that. My high school classmates mostly went into the army or stayed in our region, working as pharmacists or sales in small manufacturing jobs or beverage distributors. I came from a small poor town.

My college friends were pretty elite and much wealthier than me; most are in fact retired now or like tenured professors. Many climbed the executive track early or went into VC or banking etc. very few went into on the ground technical work like I did, because they knew the path to real money (I thought I had found it too, since working as a contractor paid so much more than my experience growing up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invest in a good haircut and well fitting business clothes. Look into a personal shopper/and or tailor. We’ve had good luck with Nordstroms. If you present yourself well people will want to hire you.

+1
You’re looking for a job, not a hot date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more a demeanor issue than looks.

Young people don't want their leadership questioned by direct reports with experience. It's easier just to hire new, shiny people and train them.

They know how old you are regardless of looks. So don't overfocus on hair color.

+1

You’re not fooling anyone by leaving off your grad year.

[Anonymous]

No harm in being your best self physically and that will serve you well whether you get that high level job or you're a science teacher.
You should probably focus on upskilling and developing your skills for whatever particular areas you'd like to get hired in. It sounds like you already bring a certain level of expertise, but times change, and tech is moving rapidly in various directions. Knowing that you know something and can convey it in an interview can go a long way.

[Anonymous]

Does your experience by any chance qualify you to work remotely on projects in flyover country?

What if you tried to "cold call" wind energy companies in flyover country?

Can you study up on solar energy? Anything in that business work for you?

I've read about how scammy solar panel sales is but maybe that's a better industry for you to learn about vs. being a barista?

[Anonymous]

51 should be below the ageism threshold. I'd focus on getting clothes that fit and a decent haircut. People aren't going to hire you for your looks, so focus on your skills and what you can bring to the company. Sounds like you are trying to blame your physical appearance and you just need to let that go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need fancy hair cut and color (highlight mixed with lowlights etc), skincare, exercise (not for the weight but for the mood and confidence). A lot of hiring managers are young now, you need to be able to get on with their sense of humor.

Curious about sense of humor, is there homework for that?!

I was pretty dang confident until this round of interviews, but will keep up exercise.

I'm not sure I can color my hair; I have allergies and skin sensitives -- its very likely to give me a rash. Should I do a crew cut rather than a longer hair style? shave bald which gives sense of mystery... but bald frumpy white guy seems worse!!

My facial skin is actually pretty good, because of the treatment for my skin issues it gives me a glow almost, so I got that.

You can do the temporary spray on grey coverage in dark brown for the interview.

And in general young HM can be a little defensive toward experienced hires / perceive you as threat, just demonstrate you are cool, no ego, no age complex and fun to be around.