DH insensitive remark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has always been very respectful but he said something I took very insensitive. I was eating and he said
“ wow..you’re eating again..all of that”. I do eat a lot and still have a good amount of weight to lose while breastfeeding our almost 2 week old. I don’t know how he intended it but it really felt insensitive and hurt my feelings. He insists he didn’t mean anything by it.

He meant it but is gaslighting you in essence. This is classic “it’s just a joke!” behavior.

Focus on what you’re doing and ignore him. He’s jealous and that’s something you can deal with later. He’s a man child with no idea but now you know.

Yep... and told her to her/OP's face.
Zero need IMO to go over diet and food intake. That's simply not a comment you make to anyone.
He's probably also turned off by her eating and maybe even the effort she's putting into the baby.

ICK!

He isn’t grossed out by me. He has never said anything hurtful or insensitive to me before. It came out of left field and I think I took it too sensitively. Today he commented “ I’m surprised by how much you can eat”. I asked him to explain because it’s hurtful. He said he is just surprised by how much I eat these days because I used to eat so regimented and small portions. He was amazed and didn’t mean anything bad by it. This is the man who indulged every single craving of mine after having severe morning sickness ( even in the evening) and not being able to eat anything so that I would eat something and gained weight that I lost back.

So you're now justifying his comments? Ok.
Simply ask him why does he feel the need to comment every time you put something to eat in your mouth?

Otherwise it gives weird on your man's part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has always been very respectful but he said something I took very insensitive. I was eating and he said
“ wow..you’re eating again..all of that”. I do eat a lot and still have a good amount of weight to lose while breastfeeding our almost 2 week old. I don’t know how he intended it but it really felt insensitive and hurt my feelings. He insists he didn’t mean anything by it.

He meant it but is gaslighting you in essence. This is classic “it’s just a joke!” behavior.

Focus on what you’re doing and ignore him. He’s jealous and that’s something you can deal with later. He’s a man child with no idea but now you know.

Yep... and told her to her/OP's face.
Zero need IMO to go over diet and food intake. That's simply not a comment you make to anyone.
He's probably also turned off by her eating and maybe even the effort she's putting into the baby.

ICK!

He isn’t grossed out by me. He has never said anything hurtful or insensitive to me before. It came out of left field and I think I took it too sensitively. Today he commented “ I’m surprised by how much you can eat”. I asked him to explain because it’s hurtful. He said he is just surprised by how much I eat these days because I used to eat so regimented and small portions. He was amazed and didn’t mean anything bad by it. This is the man who indulged every single craving of mine after having severe morning sickness ( even in the evening) and not being able to eat anything so that I would eat something and gained weight that I lost back.

If he is go great and didn’t mean anything by the comment, why did you bother to post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Your life must be so amazing that this passing remark felt negative to you.

DP
It felt negative because it WAS NEGATIVE. Tell me you're single without telling me you're single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has always been very respectful but he said something I took very insensitive. I was eating and he said
“ wow..you’re eating again..all of that”. I do eat a lot and still have a good amount of weight to lose while breastfeeding our almost 2 week old. I don’t know how he intended it but it really felt insensitive and hurt my feelings. He insists he didn’t mean anything by it.

What an as**le! I'm slim but my wife is not. We both love to eat. I will never comment on my wife's eating habits.

Agree.

My husband is slim and I'm average. Among all his flaws, this is not one. He would never comment on my eating habits or weight.

....well, he once told me I was too slim after I decided to lose weight. Don't worry all the weight came back, plus 5 lbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Your life must be so amazing that this passing remark felt negative to you.

Yes. I’m extra sensitive and DH has never made any remark about what I eat before. It hurt my feelings.

Are you twelve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as an FYI you're not "eating for two." You only need about an extra 450 calories when nursing. If you eat a handful of nuts, and drink a glass of water each time you nurse, you'll get the calories.

I don’t think this is accurate. If so, why am I starving all of the time? I’m eating like 3500-4000 calories a day. Double portions and frequent snacking.

Go to the doctor and tell them this. Something is off.

I don’t know how it turned into my eating habits but my doctor said that it’s completely fine and normal. I don’t know how much I’m eating but it feels like 3500+ calories.

What are you eating.

Your DH’s comment was insensitive and rude.

Here is a breakdown of my day of eating. Times vary.

6:30am - First thing wake up I drink 16oz water and eat a protein bar.

8am: I eat 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, and about 1 cup of fruit. I drink another 16oz of water in between this.

10:30am - 1 cup plain Greek yogurt with 1 cup berries and 1/3 cup granola.

1pm: I switch between a chicken cesear wrap or pb&j. More fruit on the side.

3:30pm: Hummus and veggies and cheese.

6:30pm: A hefty serving of portion with veggies and carbs.

9pm: homemade trail mix

4am: Protein shake or another protein bar.

I drink water throughout the day and aim for a gallon.

I have a big supply and make 40-50oz a day.

Yeah, I'd cut out the protein bars/shakes. Look at the times - you're eating at 4am and 6:30am. Then eating a meal two hours later. Then the yogurt meal two hours after that. I can't see how you can be losing weight on this meal plan, OP.

I don’t ask if I ate too much. I posted a comment about my DH’s insensitive remark. My doctor said this is normal eating. I’m recovering and feeding my baby. I eat at 4am and 6:30am because I’m hungry.

I don’t expect to lose all the weight 2 weeks after giving birth. I’m not on a diet and don’t need to cut eating if I’m
hungry.

Sexually you are like a woman with a new body to him that he didn’t choose. It’s within control for pregnant and nursing women NOT to gain 22 lbs. That's what he’s trying to tell you . His comment is insensitive because he’s growing resentful

Next would be him not sleeping with you abc then cheating a few years after unless you address the weight issue.

Men are very quick to start treating you like a “mommy” and never feel sexual about you again

Are you serious? Gaining 22lbs during pregnancy is very normal. A healthy weight gain is 25-35lbs. Op gained 33.

“ address the weight issue”. She had a baby TWO weeks ago. 99% of women do not lose pregnancy weight in two weeks.

+1

I gained 40 lbs with each pregnancy and it all came off. After the 1st it was gone in 6 weeks and then I got slimmer than before. After baby #2 it took 18 month, mainly because I was 6 years older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as an FYI you're not "eating for two." You only need about an extra 450 calories when nursing. If you eat a handful of nuts, and drink a glass of water each time you nurse, you'll get the calories.

I don’t think this is accurate. If so, why am I starving all of the time? I’m eating like 3500-4000 calories a day. Double portions and frequent snacking.

Go to the doctor and tell them this. Something is off.

I don’t know how it turned into my eating habits but my doctor said that it’s completely fine and normal. I don’t know how much I’m eating but it feels like 3500+ calories.

What are you eating.

Your DH’s comment was insensitive and rude.

Here is a breakdown of my day of eating. Times vary.

6:30am - First thing wake up I drink 16oz water and eat a protein bar.

8am: I eat 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, and about 1 cup of fruit. I drink another 16oz of water in between this.

10:30am - 1 cup plain Greek yogurt with 1 cup berries and 1/3 cup granola.

1pm: I switch between a chicken cesear wrap or pb&j. More fruit on the side.

3:30pm: Hummus and veggies and cheese.

6:30pm: A hefty serving of portion with veggies and carbs.

9pm: homemade trail mix

4am: Protein shake or another protein bar.

I drink water throughout the day and aim for a gallon.

I have a big supply and make 40-50oz a day.

Yeah, I'd cut out the protein bars/shakes. Look at the times - you're eating at 4am and 6:30am. Then eating a meal two hours later. Then the yogurt meal two hours after that. I can't see how you can be losing weight on this meal plan, OP.

I don’t ask if I ate too much. I posted a comment about my DH’s insensitive remark. My doctor said this is normal eating. I’m recovering and feeding my baby. I eat at 4am and 6:30am because I’m hungry.

I don’t expect to lose all the weight 2 weeks after giving birth. I’m not on a diet and don’t need to cut eating if I’m
hungry.

Sexually you are like a woman with a new body to him that he didn’t choose. It’s within control for pregnant and nursing women NOT to gain 22 lbs. That's what he’s trying to tell you . His comment is insensitive because he’s growing resentful

Next would be him not sleeping with you abc then cheating a few years after unless you address the weight issue.

Men are very quick to start treating you like a “mommy” and never feel sexual about you again

Are you serious? Gaining 22lbs during pregnancy is very normal. A healthy weight gain is 25-35lbs. Op gained 33.

“ address the weight issue”. She had a baby TWO weeks ago. 99% of women do not lose pregnancy weight in two weeks.

+1

I gained 40 lbs with each pregnancy and it all came off. After the 1st it was gone in 6 weeks and then I got slimmer than before. After baby #2 it took 18 month, mainly because I was 6 years older.

I had my baby two weeks ago. How can I shed 33lbs in that time? I can’t unless I do something unsafe and drastic. I’ve lost 12lbs so far with about 20lbs to go. I’m sure the weight will come off as my eating levels out and I keep up with walking.

I’ve always been fit. Still not large. 5’2 and current weight is 130lbs. I’m usually around the 110lb mark. I went from 110 to 143lbs. My doctor was fine with that weight gain because it was within the 35lb weight gain limit. I feel like I’m doing it safely while still be able to eat enough to make milk for my baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has always been very respectful but he said something I took very insensitive. I was eating and he said
“ wow..you’re eating again..all of that”. I do eat a lot and still have a good amount of weight to lose while breastfeeding our almost 2 week old. I don’t know how he intended it but it really felt insensitive and hurt my feelings. He insists he didn’t mean anything by it.

He meant it but is gaslighting you in essence. This is classic “it’s just a joke!” behavior.

Focus on what you’re doing and ignore him. He’s jealous and that’s something you can deal with later. He’s a man child with no idea but now you know.

Yep... and told her to her/OP's face.
Zero need IMO to go over diet and food intake. That's simply not a comment you make to anyone.
He's probably also turned off by her eating and maybe even the effort she's putting into the baby.

ICK!

He isn’t grossed out by me. He has never said anything hurtful or insensitive to me before. It came out of left field and I think I took it too sensitively. Today he commented “ I’m surprised by how much you can eat”. I asked him to explain because it’s hurtful. He said he is just surprised by how much I eat these days because I used to eat so regimented and small portions. He was amazed and didn’t mean anything bad by it. This is the man who indulged every single craving of mine after having severe morning sickness ( even in the evening) and not being able to eat anything so that I would eat something and gained weight that I lost back.

If he is go great and didn’t mean anything by the comment, why did you bother to post?

It hurt my feelings and I wanted to vent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as an FYI you're not "eating for two." You only need about an extra 450 calories when nursing. If you eat a handful of nuts, and drink a glass of water each time you nurse, you'll get the calories.

I don’t think this is accurate. If so, why am I starving all of the time? I’m eating like 3500-4000 calories a day. Double portions and frequent snacking.

Go to the doctor and tell them this. Something is off.

I don’t know how it turned into my eating habits but my doctor said that it’s completely fine and normal. I don’t know how much I’m eating but it feels like 3500+ calories.

What are you eating.

Your DH’s comment was insensitive and rude.

Here is a breakdown of my day of eating. Times vary.

6:30am - First thing wake up I drink 16oz water and eat a protein bar.

8am: I eat 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, and about 1 cup of fruit. I drink another 16oz of water in between this.

10:30am - 1 cup plain Greek yogurt with 1 cup berries and 1/3 cup granola.

1pm: I switch between a chicken cesear wrap or pb&j. More fruit on the side.

3:30pm: Hummus and veggies and cheese.

6:30pm: A hefty serving of portion with veggies and carbs.

9pm: homemade trail mix

4am: Protein shake or another protein bar.

I drink water throughout the day and aim for a gallon.

I have a big supply and make 40-50oz a day.

Yeah, I'd cut out the protein bars/shakes. Look at the times - you're eating at 4am and 6:30am. Then eating a meal two hours later. Then the yogurt meal two hours after that. I can't see how you can be losing weight on this meal plan, OP.

I don’t ask if I ate too much. I posted a comment about my DH’s insensitive remark. My doctor said this is normal eating. I’m recovering and feeding my baby. I eat at 4am and 6:30am because I’m hungry.

I don’t expect to lose all the weight 2 weeks after giving birth. I’m not on a diet and don’t need to cut eating if I’m
hungry.

Sexually you are like a woman with a new body to him that he didn’t choose. It’s within control for pregnant and nursing women NOT to gain 22 lbs. That's what he’s trying to tell you . His comment is insensitive because he’s growing resentful

Next would be him not sleeping with you abc then cheating a few years after unless you address the weight issue.

Men are very quick to start treating you like a “mommy” and never feel sexual about you again

Are you serious? Gaining 22lbs during pregnancy is very normal. A healthy weight gain is 25-35lbs. Op gained 33.

“ address the weight issue”. She had a baby TWO weeks ago. 99% of women do not lose pregnancy weight in two weeks.

+1

I gained 40 lbs with each pregnancy and it all came off. After the 1st it was gone in 6 weeks and then I got slimmer than before. After baby #2 it took 18 month, mainly because I was 6 years older.

I had my baby two weeks ago. How can I shed 33lbs in that time? I can’t unless I do something unsafe and drastic. I’ve lost 12lbs so far with about 20lbs to go. I’m sure the weight will come off as my eating levels out and I keep up with walking.

I’ve always been fit. Still not large. 5’2 and current weight is 130lbs. I’m usually around the 110lb mark. I went from 110 to 143lbs. My doctor was fine with that weight gain because it was within the 35lb weight gain limit. I feel like I’m doing it safely while still be able to eat enough to make milk for my baby.

Share that with your husband.
Seems his comments are trying to tell you you're eating too much and will gain weight.

[Anonymous]

Your hormones are insane right now. Let this go. It’s been 2 weeks since you gave birth. You are still recovering and have months to lose the weight.

[Anonymous]

Man, there’s so much disordered eating and thinking here. There is worse things than a breastfeeding woman being hungry and carrying an “extra” 5lb postpartum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has always been very respectful but he said something I took very insensitive. I was eating and he said
“ wow..you’re eating again..all of that”. I do eat a lot and still have a good amount of weight to lose while breastfeeding our almost 2 week old. I don’t know how he intended it but it really felt insensitive and hurt my feelings. He insists he didn’t mean anything by it.

I hope you have already hired a divorce attorney. Dump him. You deserve to be treated better.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry there are a lot of a-holes on this thread. OP had a baby 2 weeks ago. It’s normal for her to be sensitive and tired and hungry. The people on here being nasty to her deserve all the karma that will come to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as an FYI you're not "eating for two." You only need about an extra 450 calories when nursing. If you eat a handful of nuts, and drink a glass of water each time you nurse, you'll get the calories.

I don’t think this is accurate. If so, why am I starving all of the time? I’m eating like 3500-4000 calories a day. Double portions and frequent snacking.

Go to the doctor and tell them this. Something is off.

Don’t listen to this poster. Nothing is wrong. Your body is recovering from birth and making food for another human being. Eat when you’re hungry. Don’t try to limit your intake.

Yes, something IS wrong. Needing 4,000 calories each day? Eating double portions of each meal PLUS snacking? OP's brain and stomach are not in sync.

FFS. Not one person here has asked about OPs usual intake, their activity level, or any of the actually important information.

Man, DCUM really makes a sport out of judgment and “advice” without information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just as an FYI you're not "eating for two." You only need about an extra 450 calories when nursing. If you eat a handful of nuts, and drink a glass of water each time you nurse, you'll get the calories.

I don’t think this is accurate. If so, why am I starving all of the time? I’m eating like 3500-4000 calories a day. Double portions and frequent snacking.

Go to the doctor and tell them this. Something is off.

I don’t know how it turned into my eating habits but my doctor said that it’s completely fine and normal. I don’t know how much I’m eating but it feels like 3500+ calories.

What are you eating.

Your DH’s comment was insensitive and rude.

Here is a breakdown of my day of eating. Times vary.

6:30am - First thing wake up I drink 16oz water and eat a protein bar.

8am: I eat 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, and about 1 cup of fruit. I drink another 16oz of water in between this.

10:30am - 1 cup plain Greek yogurt with 1 cup berries and 1/3 cup granola.

1pm: I switch between a chicken cesear wrap or pb&j. More fruit on the side.

3:30pm: Hummus and veggies and cheese.

6:30pm: A hefty serving of portion with veggies and carbs.

9pm: homemade trail mix

4am: Protein shake or another protein bar.

I drink water throughout the day and aim for a gallon.

I have a big supply and make 40-50oz a day.

Yeah, I'd cut out the protein bars/shakes. Look at the times - you're eating at 4am and 6:30am. Then eating a meal two hours later. Then the yogurt meal two hours after that. I can't see how you can be losing weight on this meal plan, OP.

I don’t ask if I ate too much. I posted a comment about my DH’s insensitive remark. My doctor said this is normal eating. I’m recovering and feeding my baby. I eat at 4am and 6:30am because I’m hungry.

I don’t expect to lose all the weight 2 weeks after giving birth. I’m not on a diet and don’t need to cut eating if I’m
hungry.

Sexually you are like a woman with a new body to him that he didn’t choose. It’s within control for pregnant and nursing women NOT to gain 22 lbs. That's what he’s trying to tell you . His comment is insensitive because he’s growing resentful

Next would be him not sleeping with you abc then cheating a few years after unless you address the weight issue.

Men are very quick to start treating you like a “mommy” and never feel sexual about you again

Agree.