Telling My Kids About Their IVF Story??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op get a life and stop trolling. Do share the “scientific method” available to assess the IQ of a fetus.

There are companies that run polygenic scores for IQ on embryo DNA data. A few people have already done this and I’m one of these people. This practice is not common yet, but will likely become more common over time. This is a serious question and I’m asking for answers on what age it’s appropriate to tell the kids about it.

Snake oil. Fools and their money…….

It’s not snake oil, it’s a weighted coin flip. Better than just letting things be completely random and hoping for the best. Polygenic selection has already been validated in other species and farmers have been using it for over a decade.

Farmers have been selecting animal embryos based on IQ for over a decade?

Personally, I'd be embarrassed to tell my children that their parents were this gullible and/or desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op get a life and stop trolling. Do share the “scientific method” available to assess the IQ of a fetus.

There are companies that run polygenic scores for IQ on embryo DNA data. A few people have already done this and I’m one of these people. This practice is not common yet, but will likely become more common over time. This is a serious question and I’m asking for answers on what age it’s appropriate to tell the kids about it.

Snake oil. Fools and their money…….

It’s not snake oil, it’s a weighted coin flip. Better than just letting things be completely random and hoping for the best. Polygenic selection has already been validated in other species and farmers have been using it for over a decade.

Farmers have been selecting animal embryos based on IQ for over a decade?

Personally, I'd be embarrassed to tell my children that their parents were this gullible and/or desperate.

They have been selecting for other characteristics (eg milk production, muscle mass, etc, but the genetic architecture for polygenic traits is mostly additive. So you just need the SNP hits to tag the general area where causal variants are located to create polygenic scores that effectively select for traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the pull to share this.

I mean if it is the result of a genetic condition that impacts fertility and your children encounter or are expected to encounter it as an adult, sure. But garden variety, non-heridetary trouble conveiving seems not important to share with children (child or adult) - you don't share that they were conveived in a bed or in a car or in a petri dish, right? It's uncomfortable and unnecessary, but up to you, I guess.

As for the IQ screening part: do not share. This could really backfire on you if your kids are hurt or offended, and if you have more kids with the lower ranked embryos, you'll have opened a pandora's box that is really hurtful and controversial. Do NOT share this. It is dangerous ammunition that will be out of your hands once you do.

Going through the process of having my child evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD involved filling out multiple forms that explicitly asked if they were conceived through IVF, how many weeks gestation at birth, birthweight, etc. It’s part of my child’s medical history and nothing to be ashamed of. Why wouldn’t I divulge it?

You know how kids are grossed out when they find out how babies are made? Not my kids! Their father and I weren’t even in the room when sperm met egg. Like a previous poster, we frequently drive past the clinic where they were conceived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op get a life and stop trolling. Do share the “scientific method” available to assess the IQ of a fetus.

There are companies that run polygenic scores for IQ on embryo DNA data. A few people have already done this and I’m one of these people. This practice is not common yet, but will likely become more common over time. This is a serious question and I’m asking for answers on what age it’s appropriate to tell the kids about it.

Snake oil. Fools and their money…….

It’s not snake oil, it’s a weighted coin flip. Better than just letting things be completely random and hoping for the best. Polygenic selection has already been validated in other species and farmers have been using it for over a decade.

Farmers have been selecting animal embryos based on IQ for over a decade?

Personally, I'd be embarrassed to tell my children that their parents were this gullible and/or desperate.

They have been selecting for other characteristics (eg milk production, muscle mass, etc, but the genetic architecture for polygenic traits is mostly additive. So you just need the SNP hits to tag the general area where causal variants are located to create polygenic scores that effectively select for traits.

Are you a scientist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op get a life and stop trolling. Do share the “scientific method” available to assess the IQ of a fetus.

There are companies that run polygenic scores for IQ on embryo DNA data. A few people have already done this and I’m one of these people. This practice is not common yet, but will likely become more common over time. This is a serious question and I’m asking for answers on what age it’s appropriate to tell the kids about it.

Oh really? Name them and cite the evidence behind them. And then go out and find something productive to do with your life other than trolling.

NP. This seems to be latest bandwagon for the wealthy:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/04/01/opinion/ivf-gene-selection-fertility.html?unlocked_article_code=1.FU8.Pn-E.gU7a6PzjK1_k&smid=url-share

Did you actually read the article you posted? No one is claiming to screen embryos for IQ. One company has said they are looking at genetic factors that could cause intellectual disabilities but that’s not the same thing, and that is just what they’re claiming to do. there’s no evidence in the form of peer reviewed scientific research for any of this.

You didn’t read the article closely enough. A company named Helioplex is offering it and Orchid might be offering the service as well.

Oh wow-a company called Orchid that no one has ever heard of might be offering this service-how exciting! Where’s the evidence that these services will do what is promised? Do you believe every claim a company makes? If so, I have a bridge to sell you from my own company…

You didn’t read the research papers I posted earlier. There is no fundamental law or rule that prevents polygenic selection from being feasible. Farmers have already been using polygenic scores for genetic selection in other mammals for agricultural purposes for 10+ years. Almost every behavioral and cognitive trait has a genetic component and therefore these traits can be selected for as long as the genetic data is good enough. If you are morally opposed to genetic selection and don’t want to do it, that’s fine. However, the reality is that this technology is already. and it is only going to become more effective over time. There are thousands of peer reviewed research papers on polygenic scores for a wide variety of traits.

No. You didn't read them, or if you attempted to read them, you failed to understand them. A scientific theory being feasible one day doesn't mean that there's proof it's effective now. The New York Times article about this said this very clearly.

[Anonymous]

Thats so messed up, why would you need to share that information with kids?

You and your spouse made decisions for your family, but you don't have to share the details.

[Anonymous]

IVF has become so common that it’s lost its stigma (if it ever had one), so ok to share whenever it feels right to you.

I would definitely not share the IQ selection in case you have more kids or in case they misunderstand what you did and tell their friends some distorted version of the fairly mundane truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When should I tell my kids that they are IVF babies? Should I also tell them that we did IQ screening on the embryos or should I wait until they are adults to mention this detail? At what age did you tell your kids that they were IVF babies and how did you explain it?

Never
Why would you ever tell your children this?

I’m leaning towards telling them, but maybe in high school or college. Part of me thinks it would be better to tell them much earlier to normalize the idea though. Just tell them we did testing to ensure they ate healthy and elaborate that it also included IQ later.

I would hate you and as soon as I was able to leave, I would and cease all contact with you. Definitely tell them IF you wish to ruin their lives.

[Anonymous]

My children are not IVF babies, however we mention the many different ways to have a child when they asked "where does a baby come from". Most of the books about this nowadays do talk about IVF, adoption, etc.

[Anonymous]

WTF IQ testing? Would you have aborted if your fetus's IQ was not high enough? What is wrong with you, weirdo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the pull to share this.

I mean if it is the result of a genetic condition that impacts fertility and your children encounter or are expected to encounter it as an adult, sure. But garden variety, non-heridetary trouble conveiving seems not important to share with children (child or adult) - you don't share that they were conveived in a bed or in a car or in a petri dish, right? It's uncomfortable and unnecessary, but up to you, I guess.

As for the IQ screening part: do not share. This could really backfire on you if your kids are hurt or offended, and if you have more kids with the lower ranked embryos, you'll have opened a pandora's box that is really hurtful and controversial. Do NOT share this. It is dangerous ammunition that will be out of your hands once you do.

Going through the process of having my child evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD involved filling out multiple forms that explicitly asked if they were conceived through IVF, how many weeks gestation at birth, birthweight, etc. It’s part of my child’s medical history and nothing to be ashamed of. Why wouldn’t I divulge it?

You know how kids are grossed out when they find out how babies are made? Not my kids! Their father and I weren’t even in the room when sperm met egg. Like a previous poster, we frequently drive past the clinic where they were conceived.

There's nothing wrong with sharing it, but I don't get the "do we don't we how do we?" questions. I understand what you're saying about forms. That might not be common for all families, but I get it. As far as making the drive by the clinic part of your family's narrative, THAT is organic. It's not really part of the "pull to share" I was saying I don't get; they just...knew. There's no pull. It's just their story. That makes sense to me.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great to share detailed information about your child's conception with them! My father showed me a video of the act even! I was horrified for a long time but I plan to do the same with my own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were babies a friend recommended that you tell them on their first birthday. Of course one year olds don’t understand that, but the idea is that it isn’t something that is ever hidden. Just part of how you discuss their birth and biology with them. Then as they get older and ask questions about where babies come from it’s not pulling out some big secret to say “we wanted you so much so we went to a doctor to help us have you.”

Why would you need to tell kids they were created by IVF unless donor gametes were used?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op get a life and stop trolling. Do share the “scientific method” available to assess the IQ of a fetus.

There are companies that run polygenic scores for IQ on embryo DNA data. A few people have already done this and I’m one of these people. This practice is not common yet, but will likely become more common over time. This is a serious question and I’m asking for answers on what age it’s appropriate to tell the kids about it.

So you threw away the low IQ embryos?

Still have them. Just transferred embryos with a higher expected IQ score first. Not sure how many kids I want at this point, so still have the rest.

How in the Sam Hill can an embryo’s IQ be gauged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always told mine especially as they had a lost twin and I had pics of them in the petri dish which is kind of cool.

That’s kind of sad. Why would you tell your kids this?