I keep wanting to buy dresses for nonexistent events

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To quote my MIL: "Buy me when you see me, use me when you need me!"

Sounds like something said by someone who didn't have to earn the money or pay the bills. And had a lot of closet space.

New poster here. I have done it both ways but I agree that you should buy a dress when you find it. Whenever I am searching for a dress for a special occasion, I can never find what I like. The bill is the same now or later.

DP. I rarely buy clothes for a specific special occasions now. Not only is it hard to find something great at that time, I often don’t have the time. My kids are older now but I was thinking about this when reading a new post from a new mom who spent some much time getting ready for an event.

[Anonymous]

I have a large chest and for most of my life I was in a tight budget. So like others, when I do find something that miraculously fits now, I snap it up. I think it’s residual emotions from when I was going to weddings every other weekend and spending the weekends in between desperately trying to find a new rotation of dresses.

Sadly, I can’t think of the last time I saw something in a store that fit and that I actually wanted to buy. I’m 46 so maybe it’s my age. I feel so in-between. The friends I have who still enjoy shopping have very thin, tall frames so I feel like they can wear younger or older brands and look sophisticated. With my busty build and short waistedness, I get to choose mutton dressed as lamb or matronly, with no in-between.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel like...this post could be some kind of support group, lol. I don't live in DC but if I did I'd say we should all get dressed up in our impractical impulse buys and go out somewhere fun together. (My story: I grew up wearing nothing *but* thrift store clothes and so now that I can afford the occasional nice dress, I do (and not even that nice, nothing too high-end/ designer, but it just feels special still to buy something new.) I got a fun dress a few months ago that I had nowhere to wear it to, but then an occasion did come along...so you never know. If nothing else, there is always theater/ballet/opera.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how you can buy a dress for a non existent event? In recent years, I have attended a half a dozen weddings, but between winter vs summer, day vs evening wedding, the dresses in my closet won’t suit the event. And the printed floral dress that was posted is even less flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reader: I bought the dress.

Thanks for sharing this emotional shopping journey with me - and seriously PP I need to see those pageant dresses.

When this yellow dress arrives and is too small, I won't come back to tell you that; I'll be too busy weeping. But if it comes and fits like a dream, I will find a way to wear it out for my real life toot sweet.

You don’t need a formal occasion to wear a pretty sundress like that. Wear it out to dinner with some strappy sandals and enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

I like to have one outfit I can wear to an unexpected charity dinner or wedding….rather than shopping, ordering, renting in a rush. So, yes! And at least one pair of shoes.

The bag I carry then gets borrowed by my weekly housekeeper a lot, who has more dressy events than I do! If I saw another, I would give her this one. I do have a slight bag problem, I admit.

Right now I have one dressy thing I haven’t yet worn. Not too many for me.

I once bought one and sold it to a neighbor. Pre Poshmark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To quote my MIL: "Buy me when you see me, use me when you need me!"

Sounds like something said by someone who didn't have to earn the money or pay the bills. And had a lot of closet space.

New poster here. I have done it both ways but I agree that you should buy a dress when you find it. Whenever I am searching for a dress for a special occasion, I can never find what I like. The bill is the same now or later.

DP. I rarely buy clothes for a specific special occasions now. Not only is it hard to find something great at that time, I often don’t have the time. My kids are older now but I was thinking about this when reading a new post from a new mom who spent some much time getting ready for an event.

Agreed! I am a PP and when I actually had a black tie wedding to attend last year, I wasn't in the mind frame and just felt too busy to buy a new dress. But now I am wishing for that kind of event again, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel like...this post could be some kind of support group, lol. I don't live in DC but if I did I'd say we should all get dressed up in our impractical impulse buys and go out somewhere fun together. (My story: I grew up wearing nothing *but* thrift store clothes and so now that I can afford the occasional nice dress, I do (and not even that nice, nothing too high-end/ designer, but it just feels special still to buy something new.) I got a fun dress a few months ago that I had nowhere to wear it to, but then an occasion did come along...so you never know. If nothing else, there is always theater/ballet/opera.

This is P and I would love that Back in the old days I went to a Craigslist forum meetup and met someone who became a lifelong friend - and also it was just fun to meet the people who I'd been chatting with all day while neglecting my (very briefly held) biglaw job.

I hope you find somewhere to wear your dress to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a large chest and for most of my life I was in a tight budget. So like others, when I do find something that miraculously fits now, I snap it up. I think it’s residual emotions from when I was going to weddings every other weekend and spending the weekends in between desperately trying to find a new rotation of dresses.

Sadly, I can’t think of the last time I saw something in a store that fit and that I actually wanted to buy. I’m 46 so maybe it’s my age. I feel so in-between. The friends I have who still enjoy shopping have very thin, tall frames so I feel like they can wear younger or older brands and look sophisticated. With my busty build and short waistedness, I get to choose mutton dressed as lamb or matronly, with no in-between.

Pp, you need to go to a tailor. I have a weirdly small rib cage, relative to the rest of my body. Many dresses look terrible until I have them tailored. I buy things that fit the largest part of me (shoulders/tummy) , and then have the rest taken in. Clothing stores make the most money by dressing the average figure, so they will always do that. Those of us who are off on one dimension or more will always need to tailor. You need to buy petite dresses that fit your bust and have the rest taken in. I’d suggest sleeveless dresses and then pop a cardigan on top. Tailoring should shoulder seams is crazy expensive. I used to buy $12 dresses at the thrift store and have them tailored. It used to cost me $40/dress (no lining), but I imagine prices have gone up. I haven’t shopped in awhile.

[Anonymous]

OP I think I might be you! Or you might be me!

I've always been a fairly frugal thrift shopper, I like finding more unique and fun stuff secondhand and never really worried about the cost in person because I didn't have the time to go often enough to spend big $ and selection at one store was never that amazing. Finding a pretty dress that fit was an "always buy" situation.

Well...now Thredup exists, so time and selection are no longer factors, and I can't just spend at will anymore without those guardrails. Being a mid-career adult with disposable income now, but also being a fed who's concerned about RIFs, I am feeling conflicted about the balance between buying cute but professional work dresses and practical slacks for RTO, and not spending money. .

But I've been eyeing a couple Boden dresses for weeks and they're $10-12 each so I think I'm just gonna do it today.

[Anonymous]

I love clothes! When growing up, my parents had money but were so frugal and always made me buy things on sale.

It took a while as an adult to make enough money to buy what I want. I am petite and it is very hard to find things that fit so I snatch up items from brands I love. I prefer natural fabrics like cotton, linen, and wool. I prefer items that are timeless and last forever. My closet is bursting at the seams though, so I need to slow it down.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP with the quotable MIL, and I just wanted to come back to say that it really made me smile to see that her saying resonated with a few of you! She passed in 2020 and I miss her very much, so fun to see her words live on (even on DCUM

[Anonymous]

OP back - the yellow dress arrived today, and I LOVE IT. It even has pockets! It fits perfectly - like I couldn't have gone to a tailor and gotten a dress that fits so well.

Thanks for the encouragement and stories and quotes from beloved MILs and everything <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not alone.

Only because this forum is anonymous will I admit to having "chosen" many pageant gowns after surfing NY Dress and Couture Candy for hours. I might even have actually purchased one, telling myself I'd find somewhere to wear it, and then ended up donating it to a group that helps girls get free prom dresses. And no, I have never been in a pageant.

As a high schooler, I bought 3 prom dresses on sale in spring after prom was over. One didn't get worn until senior year of college, but it got worn in the end.

I allow myself a few special dresses if the price is great and they look perfect on. But I can only have 1-2. After that, no more trying on until the stockpiled dresses get worn. I had one that waited through the entire pandemic and was finally perfect for a fall wedding in 2024!

[Anonymous]

I mean I have this same obsession but for every square inch of my 5,000 sq ft house. So you can imagine how expensive this gets.