Anyone else who never resolved their issues about private school and is just going forward because the timer went off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion here, probably...but as a former public school teacher - many public schools aren't a good fit for a lot of kids. In many schools, the teachers are overwhelmed by classrooms that are too large, not enough resources, children who need more support than they are getting in the large classroom, behavior challenges, etc.

Many people cannot afford private school and will convince themselves it's the best and the right thing to do. But the reality is that American public schools are failing kids every day.

If you have a great local public and you are cool with things like PTA arguments over whether they should pay to have a nurse full time or headphones for the drama club (this was an actual thing when my kid went to a highly rated public school), they by all means go there. There are several kids who will happily take your child's spot at the private school.

I don't say this to be a jerk, but really at the end of the day you need to just make the right decision for you and your family. Just because the other wealthy family down the street is sending their kid to the private school doesn't mean you have to as well. It isn't inertia - there is too much involved in applying. It was a conscious choice.

+1. Last paragraph above says it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes feel guilty about not sending my kids to public school too. So I know where you're coming from. But from what I've seen our local public school would not be able to challenge my children academically and would be unwilling to support their relatively minor special needs because other kids are struggling way more. So they are at the local Catholic school where the academic expectations are generally higher and the school is more willing to write an accommodation plan for a child who is basically doing fine and not creating huge issues and just needs a few tweaks. But still sometimes I feel like I'm letting down the kids who are like mine but whose parents can't afford private school and don't know that they can sue the public school to write the 504/do the IEP evaluation.

You aren't letting those kids down, you are freeing up resources for them. They have the same number of special ed teachers and support specialists at your public school whether your kid is there or not.

What I meant is that if we and more families like ours were in public school filing state complaints and due process and suing the school board or whatever, then maybe the system would be under closer scrutiny and be more likely to follow federal law to avoid getting in trouble.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar place 6 years ago. Ultimately we chose public and then moved our 5th grader this year from public to private. I don't think the school I would have picked for her as a kindergartener is the school that fits her best now. There is some benefit to enjoying the early years at public and then identifying the right learning environment in late elementary/middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar place 6 years ago. Ultimately we chose public and then moved our 5th grader this year from public to private. I don't think the school I would have picked for her as a kindergartener is the school that fits her best now. There is some benefit to enjoying the early years at public and then identifying the right learning environment in late elementary/middle.

This is true, but also your kid will not turn out the same by late elementary/middle. Those formative years in public vs private will have an impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar place 6 years ago. Ultimately we chose public and then moved our 5th grader this year from public to private. I don't think the school I would have picked for her as a kindergartener is the school that fits her best now. There is some benefit to enjoying the early years at public and then identifying the right learning environment in late elementary/middle.

This is true, but also your kid will not turn out the same by late elementary/middle. Those formative years in public vs private will have an impact.

DP who also moved a 5th grader. I like who my kid is now. Yes there would be benefits to having had the education at her private all the way through, but I'm happy and she seems happy too.

[Anonymous]

We had similar concerns when we decided to send our DS to a private school. Now, a few years later, I wouldn’t say those concerns have gone away. In fact, I am considering whether to leave private for a well-regarded public school. Perhaps it is a function of the school we chose. It is a progressive school, and over time, I have been coming to the view that a more traditional school with better structure would have been the right choice. I have been fairly underwhelmened with the results at the private school, which, frankly, should be a lot better, given the amount of effort we put in at home, and I tend to think that in a different environment we would be in a better place. Additionally, private schools are small. That can be good, but it can also be limiting. Our DS is in a very gender imbalanced class, and while DS has a lot of friends, the number of kids that are truly his people seems limited. Unfortunately, one of them left last year, so that has gotten even smaller.