Anyone else who never resolved their issues about private school and is just going forward because the timer went off?

[Anonymous]

We are doing the opposite. We can afford it, applied, kids got in, and then kids decided to stay in public instead. There were some things they liked about private (smaller classes, better teachers) and some things that we liked (TBH we liked the additional handholding) but in the end our kids each decided they would prefer to go to public for 9th and 7th despite getting into all of the (few) privates they applied to. They are excited about some of the course options at our high school that are not available at private schools. They also liked the shorter commutes. We are taking the money we would have spent on private and continuing to invest it in separate accounts earmarked to be given to our kids when they are adults.

[Anonymous]

This is is my family too, although we switched our kids in 5th grade. I don’t regret their time in public elementary school at all, but it was becoming clear that they weren’t being challenged, and they weren’t the smartest in their classes either — lots of kids weren’t being challenged due to behavioral issues of other kids as well as lack of resources generally. My DS in private is getting a much better challenge and more support all around. I am excited for my DD to start next year. Could we have come up with extra challenges for our kids to supplement public school? Sure, and we considered it when we thought private school was out of reach. But honestly we don’t have the time with our jobs to really devote to suppelmenting our kids education on any kind of regular

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.

We switched our DD from public to private in 8th grade and we regret not doing it earlier. We live in a very good public school district and she was getting all A’s and high test scores. She had to work twice as hard to get A’s and B’s her first year at private. She’s catching up but it’s clear that the kids who grew up in private have better critical writing skills, and are more confident and articulate.

We love our public school teachers but it was very clear they were stretched. Our private school teachers have much more time and resources to help students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.

We switched our DD from public to private in 8th grade and we regret not doing it earlier. We live in a very good public school district and she was getting all A’s and high test scores. She had to work twice as hard to get A’s and B’s her first year at private. She’s catching up but it’s clear that the kids who grew up in private have better critical writing skills, and are more confident and articulate.

We love our public school teachers but it was very clear they were stretched. Our private school teachers have much more time and resources to help students.

Which private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

I think if you are in NWDC, particularly in bounds to J-R and can afford private, you have might as many high quality school options as anywhere in the country. I think your sense of possibilities may be a little warped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

This is the most well-reasoned perspective on public vs private I’ve read on DCUM. We’re also in NW DC with kids in private, after starting in public elementary. The disciplinary and resource limitations in the public schools here are real — as one teacher noted above, PTA debates about whether to have a full time nurse, not to mention disciplinary issues, unusable bathrooms, etc. These issues were present for years, but really came to the forefront during and immediately after the pandemic.

The kids I’ve seen who are successful in public school here are talented but also resilient and able to both advocate for themselves and go with the flow when necessary.

[Anonymous]

I am feeling really conflicted about the public vs private decision. Our kids go to public and so does everyone else we know in the neighborhood expect one religious family. I'm told our district and schools score in the top 1% of the state's public schools. At the same time, our private schools are an unknown (since everyone goes public). We are considering the move to private based on disruptive kids (but again, I don't know what is "normal" and maybe we won't be better off in private) and what looks like a weak literacy curriculum. I'm telling myself that strong kids do well in different situations and I hope that is true in our case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really mixed feelings about private school. We can afford it, but I’m worried it’s not the best choice for our kids because I really believe in the importance of public schools and the power of succeeding in an environment where you’re not coddled. I think our neurotypical kid could probably do that. But where we live, switching to non-religious private school in upper elementary is hard. And that’s right when, anecdotally, satisfaction with the local public schools seems to plummet. So I’m also worried about ending up stuck or having to move during a sensitive social moment.

So I didn’t resolve any of those issues and now we’re just plowing ahead with private school. But I have no one to talk to about this irl, because being able to afford private school is obviously a huge privilege and a touchy subject. So is moving to a more expensive neighborhood for access to more uniformly affluent public schools that seem better managed.

It felt like I had so much time to figure this out and then bam, we’ve signed and it’s all in motion.

Anyway I know this is a caviar problem because of the money, but it is still hard.

I think you did the right thing OP, because I think fundamentally, you believe that a private school education is better. Therefore, if you waited and then couldn’t get in, you probably would always regret it.

OP “believes” private is better because it is. At least here in the DMV. My kids were in DCPS before we switched to a very expensive posh private school. Do I think they are missing out somehow because they don’t have to dive behind cars when the local gang walks through shooting the street up on a random Saturday (true story)? Do I think they need to be toughened up by making them ride the now dangerous and filthy metro system (coming from someone that only took metro for decades because I learned to drive late)? No. Not one bit. I cannot for the world understand why parents think street cred is more important than rigorous academics, refinement, and a disciplined approach to life. Get over yourself and off your high horse. Mediocrity, especially in education, is not a path to being holier than thou and your false sense of self righteousness is annoying to say the least.

[Anonymous]

I missed the problem. Schools not great where you live, you can afford private, got into private.

Anyone who guilt trips you for doing what's best for your child is a jerk. You are here on this earth to do what's in the best interest of your child, not to sacrifice their well-being to boost a local publics numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling really conflicted about the public vs private decision. Our kids go to public and so does everyone else we know in the neighborhood expect one religious family. I'm told our district and schools score in the top 1% of the state's public schools. At the same time, our private schools are an unknown (since everyone goes public). We are considering the move to private based on disruptive kids (but again, I don't know what is "normal" and maybe we won't be better off in private) and what looks like a weak literacy curriculum. I'm telling myself that strong kids do well in different situations and I hope that is true in our case.

Your comment on your school's curriculum would concern me in your shoes. "Doing well means different things. A kid going well with a weak curriculum just isn't learning as much as a kid struggling to keep up with an excellent, rigorous curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have really mixed feelings about private school. We can afford it, but I’m worried it’s not the best choice for our kids because I really believe in the importance of public schools and the power of succeeding in an environment where you’re not coddled. I think our neurotypical kid could probably do that. But where we live, switching to non-religious private school in upper elementary is hard. And that’s right when, anecdotally, satisfaction with the local public schools seems to plummet. So I’m also worried about ending up stuck or having to move during a sensitive social moment.

So I didn’t resolve any of those issues and now we’re just plowing ahead with private school. But I have no one to talk to about this irl, because being able to afford private school is obviously a huge privilege and a touchy subject. So is moving to a more expensive neighborhood for access to more uniformly affluent public schools that seem better managed.

It felt like I had so much time to figure this out and then bam, we’ve signed and it’s all in motion.

Anyway I know this is a caviar problem because of the money, but it is still hard.

I think you did the right thing OP, because I think fundamentally, you believe that a private school education is better. Therefore, if you waited and then couldn’t get in, you probably would always regret it.

OP “believes” private is better because it is. At least here in the DMV. My kids were in DCPS before we switched to a very expensive posh private school. Do I think they are missing out somehow because they don’t have to dive behind cars when the local gang walks through shooting the street up on a random Saturday (true story)? Do I think they need to be toughened up by making them ride the now dangerous and filthy metro system (coming from someone that only took metro for decades because I learned to drive late)? No. Not one bit. I cannot for the world understand why parents think street cred is more important than rigorous academics, refinement, and a disciplined approach to life. Get over yourself and off your high horse. Mediocrity, especially in education, is not a path to being holier than thou and your false sense of self righteousness is annoying to say the least.

My kid is in an expensive private school and rides the metro every day. It is not what you describe. It is laughable to think my kid has "street cred" because he rides the metro in DC.

On the flip side, most kids in our local public school never leave the safe neighborhoods of upper NW unless they are going to Georgetown or Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pulled my DC from public to private for middle school. I wish I had done it sooner, but I had similar hangups. At that time, I didn't know anyone who had sent their kids to private but I knee my DC was slipping through the cracks. We did it and I felt nervous about it for some time. Now I know we made the right choice.

We switched our DD from public to private in 8th grade and we regret not doing it earlier. We live in a very good public school district and she was getting all A’s and high test scores. She had to work twice as hard to get A’s and B’s her first year at private. She’s catching up but it’s clear that the kids who grew up in private have better critical writing skills, and are more confident and articulate.

We love our public school teachers but it was very clear they were stretched. Our private school teachers have much more time and resources to help students.

Which private school?

Holton

[Anonymous]

If you are in a good school district, I don’t think the answer here is life altering one way or another. I went all the way through in private school and my dad recently said he thinks we would have just as well in the public schools. I suspect he is right.

We had our oldest apply for privates this year. They are adamantly opposed of going to private despite getting in to several. I am not going to force a kid into a high school environment they don’t want to be in. High school is hard enough. This kid is a driven kid always looking to get ahead and work hard, they will be fine. The next kid may be different because they are already saying they want to go.

I think kids that are self motivated and bright will do well in a good public or good private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s sounds like you are at the beginning of this journey. A few points:

1. There is plenty of ability to change schools at older grades. One of my kids applied and got in in 9th- and only one of her friends who applied to private didn’t get into any schools they wanted. There is a lot of stress around getting in and not getting in- but I can’t think of one person I know hasn’t found a place they are happy with within one or two years. Things are more fluid than this board would suggest. (We’re in NW DC, fwiw)

2. The reason to choose or not choose private schools are myriad- and it’s impossible to know what the story is for your kid until they are going through the system. I know kids who have done every combo in different phases of school. Some went private through middle, then moved to public for high school in dc (Jackson reed) and those who went public for elementary, private for middle, public for high… etc. Which is all to say- these choices are not about a parents philosophy. It’s about what is right for your kid at a specific time in their lives.

3. “Coddled” in private isn’t really the reason people choose it. Private schools still expect your kid to self advocate and the bar is set much higher than in public. So while your kid will get more adult eyes on them, they also have more pressure to keep up (in many schools, at least).

4. Related to #3 - the drawbacks may be different than you are anticipating. Sure, kids are forced to deal with a wider and larger population and smaller ratio with teachers, but that’s often not why many people leave. The dissolution of SPED programs and the issues around discipline can create environments in which kids just aren’t getting the teaching they need. But you aren’t going to know what your child’s experience will be until you get there.

I have one in public and one in private and there are differences for sure- but a whole lot more similarities. Both have dedicated, determined teachers. Both have diverse populations (though obviously less economically diverse than private). And both have amazing kids doing amazing things. You don’t need to decide your path based on philosophy- you should base on what your kid needs as they grow and develop. (Well, and your wallet’s health). Your kid will be great wherever they go!

I think if you are in NWDC, particularly in bounds to J-R and can afford private, you have might as many high quality school options as anywhere in the country. I think your sense of possibilities may be a little warped.

Sure, but OP is obviously able to afford private. Also, the DC privates are more selective than the suburban counterparts so I'm not sure why its an advantage to be in DC than in say, Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Look at all the gun incidents lately at these schools. Even BCC had one in the news!