Handling school resistance to applying out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree this is a troll post. Far too much identifying information.

This is OP and no, it’s not a troll post. I wish I was making this up. We live in a state adjacent to the dmv which is probably why someone’s like “no one I know is like this at our all-girls school”. It’s somehow validating to hear that people can’t believe this is real, because at least I know that our situation should not be happening and is 100% not normal.

I’m grateful to the PPs on this thread who shared their similar experiences.

My only actionable advice to others: if you are applying out and trust the teachers who need to write your rec letters, talk to them first before putting anything in Ravenna so they get a head start on drafting their letters and aren’t intimidated by any negative feedback from leadership.

Also, have a partner handle open houses and school visits if you’re the parent who is more visible at your current school. DH went to most of ours and that kept any chatter between schools to a minimum since other parents and school admin didn’t recognize him save for one dad who he knew from work and who was also trying to be low-key.

OP, why do you keep adding more and more identifying but unnecessary details like this? Everything relevant was in the first post, and likely could have applied to any number of people. But you keep narrowing it down, and if anyone from your school does stumble across this (less likely given that you are “just outside” the dmv - a weird descriptor in its own right) they will know exactly who you are.

That your daughter is a legacy and your family are wealthy donors is relevant. That you volunteer, maybe. That you are an extensive volunteer but your husband is less well known there, that your mother worked there for a long time and overlapped with the current staff (narrowing the timeline), and that it is a girls school - totally unneeded and extremely identifying. It’s almost like you hope someone doesn’t recognize you and starts circulating to the school how annoyed you are with the situation.

Maybe OP is adding in more identifying information (that is actually not correct) in order to obscure her identity. You realize that people share half truths on here most of the time. They change genders, ages, areas, dates, etc.

Sure, that’s possible. Odd choice though, when the original post was generic enough to not be identifying. There’s no need to offer fake identifying details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read all the comments but I think you should ask the next person that mentions this to you, how they heard about it as it’s a private decision and you didn’t share it with anyone except those that needed to know for the application process.

You don’t want to rock the boat too much prior to getting offers from other schools, but it’s so inappropriate that anyone at school would share your private information.

Completely agree with this. The goal is for you to continue being polite while also shaming folks for their inappropriate behavior. Listen and ask with genuine curiosity, who from they heard the rumor of you applying out as this had not/nor would not be something you would publicly speaking about. Leave it at that.

If folks continue to push you only need indicate that you have always been of the impression that the schools respects students interest, growth, and privacy and hope that continues.