Kids that burned out, what were common characteristics and how to prevent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad negative coaching. Especially at the u-little age groups. Nothing will drive a kid to quit quicker than an idiot coach.

Or being pushed (by either the club or parents) to have a team play at a level where they get dusted 5-0, 8-0, 10-0 every match.

This is my kid. He’s so burnt out after three seasons of massive losses because the club insists on playing his team in the highest division. His only goal is to play in HS, so we’ll likely move him to a club where he can have fun again and keep interested in the sport and being active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

Idk, coach. Seems like having a 10-12 month season from age 6 onward is designed to extract as much money as possible from families while trying to block kids from trying to start/learn/play other sports has consequences. It makes diamonds and dust and soccer being fun is such a secondary consideration for the youth soccer industry that it drives kids away.

Once you accept that the youth soccer industry is just that, a business just like any other business, it all becomes completely logical and expected. I expect a business to put their own interests first. My job as a parent is to put my child’s interests first. We have different priorities and objectives. I don’t expect a soccer club to put my child’s interests first any more than I expect a business like McDonalds or Nike to put my child’s interests above theirs. I don’t resent soccer clubs for what they do or how much they cost. It’s a business.

[Anonymous]

My best friend played D1 at our college. By sophomore year she was so burned out she stopped playing altogether. She just decided she wanted nothing to do with it anymore and never looked back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

Idk, coach. Seems like having a 10-12 month season from age 6 onward is designed to extract as much money as possible from families while trying to block kids from trying to start/learn/play other sports has consequences. It makes diamonds and dust and soccer being fun is such a secondary consideration for the youth soccer industry that it drives kids away.

How long are the seasons in true soccer countries where kids are playing for free or much less $ than we do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend played D1 at our college. By sophomore year she was so burned out she stopped playing altogether. She just decided she wanted nothing to do with it anymore and never looked back.

She was a soft quitter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend played D1 at our college. By sophomore year she was so burned out she stopped playing altogether. She just decided she wanted nothing to do with it anymore and never looked back.

She was a soft quitter

I love the trolls here who preach the no-holds-barred grind mindset tailored for professionals, but if I had to bet $, they do not apply these principles to themselves. Most likely out of shape and middling income levels with no career ambitions but for Jr. or little Sally it's grind and show no mercy.

[Anonymous]

Got a boyfriend and dropped soccer

[Anonymous]

My DD just didn’t want to talk about soccer or go train, like ever. She always talked about how much she didn’t want to go to practice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend played D1 at our college. By sophomore year she was so burned out she stopped playing altogether. She just decided she wanted nothing to do with it anymore and never looked back.

She was a soft quitter

I love the trolls here who preach the no-holds-barred grind mindset tailored for professionals, but if I had to bet $, they do not apply these principles to themselves. Most likely out of shape and middling income levels with no career ambitions but for Jr. or little Sally it's grind and show no mercy.

Forgive me, but, aren't they going to college to become Professional at something?

[Anonymous]

Success and burnout are related. Higher the success a player is having the less likely burnout is a factor. Lower success and burnout and a growth in disliking the game becomes more prominent.

Of course there are highly successful players that also burnout but that is usually due to parent pressure, body breaking down, or just wanting something different for themselves.

But if your player is dominating and having high levels of success burnout is less common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

Idk, coach. Seems like having a 10-12 month season from age 6 onward is designed to extract as much money as possible from families while trying to block kids from trying to start/learn/play other sports has consequences. It makes diamonds and dust and soccer being fun is such a secondary consideration for the youth soccer industry that it drives kids away.

Once you accept that the youth soccer industry is just that, a business just like any other business, it all becomes completely logical and expected. I expect a business to put their own interests first. My job as a parent is to put my child’s interests first. We have different priorities and objectives. I don’t expect a soccer club to put my child’s interests first any more than I expect a business like McDonalds or Nike to put my child’s interests above theirs. I don’t resent soccer clubs for what they do or how much they cost. It’s a business.

We don't have longer seasons than anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I fear for this next generation of 2014-2016s who have every move of their soccer and futsal documented on instagram. Maybe it has always been this way on other platforms but it seems endemic to this area. Can someone with a kid that age tell me the why of putting their kid out there like that? Trying to get exposed to be on a higher team? Thinking colleges will care about your 3rd graders reels from their u10 year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Success and burnout are related. Higher the success a player is having the less likely burnout is a factor. Lower success and burnout and a growth in disliking the game becomes more prominent.

Of course there are highly successful players that also burnout but that is usually due to parent pressure, body breaking down, or just wanting something different for themselves.

But if your player is dominating and having high levels of success burnout is less common.

I think this correlation is accurate. Winning a tournament=happy kids, parents and coaches. Losing a tournament badly=frustrated kids, parents and coaches.

[Anonymous]

I used to be on a team called the Bethesda Magic many years ago. We were NCSL Division 1 when that at the time was the highest you could go. I stopped after a few coaching changes and things started becoming toxic. It was not fun anymore to be there. I was 15. I just did high school and enjoyed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

Idk, coach. Seems like having a 10-12 month season from age 6 onward is designed to extract as much money as possible from families while trying to block kids from trying to start/learn/play other sports has consequences. It makes diamonds and dust and soccer being fun is such a secondary consideration for the youth soccer industry that it drives kids away.

Once you accept that the youth soccer industry is just that, a business just like any other business, it all becomes completely logical and expected. I expect a business to put their own interests first. My job as a parent is to put my child’s interests first. We have different priorities and objectives. I don’t expect a soccer club to put my child’s interests first any more than I expect a business like McDonalds or Nike to put my child’s interests above theirs. I don’t resent soccer clubs for what they do or how much they cost. It’s a business.

We don't have longer seasons than anywhere else.

We have something more dangerous and sinister to the monopoly seeking youth soccer industry, other sports options as the kids get older.