Kids that burned out, what were common characteristics and how to prevent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

Clearly you don’t have a kid playing high level Club soccer. The training regimens are intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

Clearly you don’t have a kid playing high level Club soccer. The training regimens are intense.

3 or 4 sessions a week ... 45% of the sessions being non-action

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

Clearly you don’t have a kid playing high level Club soccer. The training regimens are intense.

I think some parents wouldn't mind if their kids to quit/found new hobbies. All the endless driving to practices and across states for matches while sometimes working remotely from their cars/outside practice fields isn't necessarily the best life. They get burnt-out, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

Clearly you don’t have a kid playing high level Club soccer. The training regimens are intense.

I think some parents wouldn't mind if their kids to quit/found new hobbies. All the endless driving to practices and across states for matches while sometimes working remotely from their cars/outside practice fields isn't necessarily the best life. They get burnt-out, too.

Amen to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether it was your DD or others you know, what were common characteristics or warning signs you observed for those who burned in their teenage years? Did they train too much as a U-little, not have other sports, not play for the love of the game, etc.?

Hmm, maybe not sign them up for hours of weekly club sports at age 5?

[Anonymous]

17 year old who joined Arsenal's pre-academy at 8 years old just scored in the Premier League

But our kids are burnt out at VDA lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

The kid hates the experience

That's not burnt-out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

Idk, coach. Seems like having a 10-12 month season from age 6 onward is designed to extract as much money as possible from families while trying to block kids from trying to start/learn/play other sports has consequences. It makes diamonds and dust and soccer being fun is such a secondary consideration for the youth soccer industry that it drives kids away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents living through their kids is the number one reason.

Explain how exactly

Screaming at them as soon as they get to the car, not allowing the coaches to coach (kids looking to the sideline for parent instruction over coach), not allowing them to have a life outside of soccer, embarrassing them while your begging coach/director for playing time, etc….all that takes the fun out of it for them.

The kid hates the experience

That's not burnt-out

Stressed out falls under the burnt out umbrella IMO. Burnt out isn’t all physical.

[Anonymous]

Recognizing that most of our kids wont scratch pro and few will make college, for the 95-99% rest of us, is really the focus here, not some American who happened to grow up in Europe and make it to the big leagues. That said, I see 10 year olds flying to FL one week, driving to NC for futsal the following week, practicing Saturday morning ant 8am in 30 degree weather and cant help but wonder, is that the right path? I get that each kid has their own path, but this seems like a lot and drastically different from when I grew up doing. However, maybe I am missing something or have parents with older kids seen this story already?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

You might be reading into things when you make the assumption and leap from a kid with overuse injuries having differing interests at age 14 then they did at age 6 being because they lack the drive, discipline, are spoiled and have overbearing parents and aren't training that much.

And the pros spend more time with tech than they do on physical training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD grew weary when the Club coach said that you don’t belong on this team if your goal isn’t to play in college. This was 8th grade.

She no longer plays.

Burnout how?

She was weary. That’s the only way to explain it. She knew she did NOT want to play in college. Weary isn’t something you want to see in a 13-14 year old, so we left that club and tried a smaller, more fun club. That was a good way to end her soccer journey - making it fun again, and guess what, she’s really blossoming in other activities she never would have the time for if still on the soccer crazy train.

Other signs I’ve seen in other kids: no time to get homework done, no time to spend with friends outside of soccer, no time for family vacations or holidays, fake injuries, real overuse injuries.

DD had a teammate tell her she was hoping to tear her acl so she could quit.

A lot of what's being said here is about spoiled kids lacking drive and discipline.
Along with snowplow and helicopter parenting

Not sports burnout

Many of these kids aren't even putting that much time and effort into training. They spend more time on phones and computers

You might be reading into things when you make the assumption and leap from a kid with overuse injuries having differing interests at age 14 then they did at age 6 being because they lack the drive, discipline, are spoiled and have overbearing parents and aren't training that much.

And the pros spend more time with tech than they do on physical training.

But the pros consistently put a lot of time in hard training
Even if they are on their gadgets after at home

99.99% of our kids aren't

[Anonymous]

Bad negative coaching. Especially at the u-little age groups. Nothing will drive a kid to quit quicker than an idiot coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad negative coaching. Especially at the u-little age groups. Nothing will drive a kid to quit quicker than an idiot coach.

Or being pushed (by either the club or parents) to have a team play at a level where they get dusted 5-0, 8-0, 10-0 every match.