Do you ever fantasize about living completely alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newly divorced with elementary/ middle school kids. I do miss the kids when they aren’t here, but there are maybe 3-4 days every month where I wouldn’t see them at all — every other day I either have them or see them at least a little bit. The time I do have off is golden. I kept the house and am redoing it how I like it. It’s so peaceful and nice.

I thought the divorce would be a nightmare, but I am living every mom’s dream.

Ngl, having a few child-free days per month would be amazing for my health, home projects, self care, etc. My divorced friends with good coparenting relationships lead much more balanced lives because they have more time to focus on themselves, work, etc.

-Parent of 2 kids

PP here. At first I didn’t know what to do with myself. But little by little I’ve remembered who I am. It actually makes my time with my kids much better because I’m not as frazzled and burnt out.

I would never have chosen this but I think it’s because I didn’t realize how good it could be to have downtime by myself. My whole nervous system is much more relaxed.

I am lucky to be able to flex my work hours, so overall I think I spend about the same time as I used to with my kids because I basically leave at 2:30 PM on my custody days and spend the whole afternoon and evening with them. But being totally physically and mentally off for 1-2 days when I’m not with them is very different than the intermittent “breaks” I would have here and there.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I dream of living alone in a tiny house and having a chicken farm but a slightest noise makes me jumpy so it's just a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

When my children were young, I used to fantasize about doing this a lot.

Life w/multiple kids can be very chaotic + stressful at best no matter how much love you have for them. ❤️

Now that my children have all grown - I now live alone & I love it very much.
I feel as if I have earned this privilege >> after years of paying my dues.
Lol.

It’s so nice to come home each day to a quiet and clean home.
I no longer have to worry about what anyone other than me has to eat.
I clean minimally and only have my own laundry to wash.

On my weekends off, I enjoy complete privacy to read, watch TV and/or lounge around in pajamas w/out caring one iota if anyone thinks I am lazy.

[Anonymous]

Hermit tendencies are normal.

[Anonymous]

Allllllllll the time!!!

[Anonymous]

Every day, multiple times a day

[Anonymous]

Do I, a married tax attorney in my early 60s with four adult children, ever fantasize about living alone in my house (with just my dogs)? No.

Do I ever fantasize about being a single (never married), more affluent, much better-looking version of myself living in a penthouse apartment in Tysons and dating like mad? Yes, I do.

I would still date women my age (plus or minus five years) in my swinging bachelor pad. However, I would take them to fun places (I love Aruba) and do fun things (I love trying new restaurants). I would only worry about my workout schedule and restocking the wine cellar.

Precisely, I would model my life after a young partner at my firm who is in his late 30s, divorced, with one child (who he sees once a week and every other weekend.)

He is quite handsome, played football in college, and almost every woman in my firm (and outside of it) swoons when he walks in the room. When I walk in with him, women ask me how much it will take to settle with the IRS and hope I get out of the way quickly so they can look at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fantasize about this multiple times a day

Same! Between three kids and a husband, I am constantly picking up after everyone, cooking for everyone, finding the things they can’t find, and basically being responsible for everyone, and all of their things, all of the time.

[Anonymous]

I just fantasize about my DH leaving the house. He is always here. I feel like I live with a disabled person.

[Anonymous]

No. But I have an only child who is very independent, my DH too.

[Anonymous]

All the time.

[Anonymous]

I used to.
Living the dream now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just fantasize about my DH leaving the house. He is always here. I feel like I live with a disabled person.

Hahahah. What happened? (Assuming he isn’t really disabled, so not to poke fun at that)

[Anonymous]

All the time. I never have time to myself, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to (and maybe will again), but after watching my 75 year old mother putter around her very clean and beautiful condo for the past 20 months following my dad’s death, I now think it will be really lonely.

My mom has no plans most days. Her fridge is almost all condiments and random soups. She doesn’t cook or entertain and has no hobbies except spying on the other people in her condo development. 😬 She has some friends but they all still have spouses or kids nearby, so she only sees them for a few hours every week total. I asked her how she spends her days. She said she wakes up at 6AM and the reads in her sunroom for several hours. At 4:30PM she moves to the living room and watches British TV until she gets tired at around 9. She’s a wealthy widow and will live in comfort but she’s clearly very lonely. I just visited her for 5 days and she never stopped talking—she was so happy to have company again. One of my siblings lives in her town and invites her to holiday gatherings and takes care of her if she needs help but they have their own family, busy jobs, etc.

I will say that I was jealous that her house was spotless despite not having been cleaned in 4 weeks (she was recovering from surgery and couldn’t clean)!

This sounds great.

Having a clean and orderly space is the cherry on top!