Do you ever fantasize about living completely alone?

[Anonymous]

Np, I am currently living this dream, and it's everything you think it is, minus the loneliness. I am divorced with four grown-out-of-the-house children. I, too, was the default parent, and raising them was exhausting. I love my kids dearly but do not miss those days at all and am not open to remarrying.

[Anonymous]

I'm 45, divorced, no kids, I'm an only child, introverted. My boyfriend was spending every night here, and I had to dial that back. I love doing everything on my own schedule, not having to coordinate meals, not having to answer "where ya going?" every time I stand up. I don't know how the rest of you do it.

[Anonymous]

I used to fantasize. Now, I plan. My kids are getting older, my ex lives in his own space, and it's only a matter of time before my days are my own again.

I often remind myself "you might get lonely and miss this" when the house is chaos and the kids are loud. I don't know that I actually will, but I try to stay present with what is and make memories of it, knowing that it WILL change.

Like pp, I don't want to remarry, and my child-raising days are nearly over so I don't really want to restart that clock. The teens will become adults, they will go off to their own lives (whether that's college or travel or work or whatever they pick), and I will have my own time back. I'm sure I'll find ways to stay busy, if I want to, and I doubt I'll be bored enough to be lonely for long.

[Anonymous]

Living totally alone, no. I would miss my spouse and kids a lot.

My current fantasy is to have a small guest house that I could use as my home office. We are moving in a few years and I am looking for something with a yard big enough for us to build something like this. Could just be like a studio apartment with a little kitchenette and small bathroom. Does not need a TV or cable or anything fancy, just wireless internet so I could take my laptop out there. If we put in a little bed alcove then my MIL and parents could stay there when they visit to help justify the expense. But the rest of the time it would be an office and DH or I could use it when necessary.

Right now we live in a 1200 ft townhome with only a tiny bit of outdoor space. I can never really get true alone time unless they are all at work and school and I happen to be home, which doesn't happen that often. An extra room wouldn't really help because if people pester me when I'm working at my desk in my bedroom, I don't see what having a home office is going to do. But if it was another building, I think that would make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I do but then realize that after about 2-3 weeks I'd want some company and companionship.

[Anonymous]

No. I love my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I love my family

it’s not one or the other. But you knew that-you just needed to say this.

[Anonymous]

I imagine seeing my loving partner and beautiful children during normal business hours, after 6 PM I head to my own glorious peaceful, orderly and quiet place. Once or twice a week I invite someone over for raw passionate sex and then they and all traces of them just disappear, I don’t even have to walk them to the front door. If my other dial-a-dates aren’t doing it for me I let my spouse stay over one or two nights a week.

[Anonymous]

I used to (and maybe will again), but after watching my 75 year old mother putter around her very clean and beautiful condo for the past 20 months following my dad’s death, I now think it will be really lonely.

My mom has no plans most days. Her fridge is almost all condiments and random soups. She doesn’t cook or entertain and has no hobbies except spying on the other people in her condo development. 😬 She has some friends but they all still have spouses or kids nearby, so she only sees them for a few hours every week total. I asked her how she spends her days. She said she wakes up at 6AM and the reads in her sunroom for several hours. At 4:30PM she moves to the living room and watches British TV until she gets tired at around 9. She’s a wealthy widow and will live in comfort but she’s clearly very lonely. I just visited her for 5 days and she never stopped talking—she was so happy to have company again. One of my siblings lives in her town and invites her to holiday gatherings and takes care of her if she needs help but they have their own family, busy jobs, etc.

I will say that I was jealous that her house was spotless despite not having been cleaned in 4 weeks (she was recovering from surgery and couldn’t clean)!

[Anonymous]

I often fantasize about being a widow

And your DH fantasizes about being a widower.

You are lovely match and great role models for your kids.

[Anonymous]

I live it. It's everything you think it would be.

My kids are grown, I loved being married and raising them but I gotta say, this is way more fun for me. I highly recommend it!

I have a great 2/2 condo, in the one place I always wanted to live (he certainly didn't) and I do whatever I want whenever I want all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live it. It's everything you think it would be.

My kids are grown, I loved being married and raising them but I gotta say, this is way more fun for me. I highly recommend it!

I have a great 2/2 condo, in the one place I always wanted to live (he certainly didn't) and I do whatever I want whenever I want all the time.

11:59 pp who is living the dream, and I think you and I might be twinsies! I, too, live in a 2/2 condo/townhouse, and find the setup to be the best thing since sliced bread.

[Anonymous]

I constantly think about this. I would love to rent a room for a month and leave them all. I have a husband who makes most of the mess and has a million and one excuses as to why he can't help. I think when the kids move out, I will move out too.

[Anonymous]

Yes I dream of having a 2-bedroom apartment above a Whole Foods grocery.

[Anonymous]

When I was in the thick of little kid raising, I used to fantasize that prison wouldn't be that bad.... So yeah, this would have been something I'd fantasize about!!