What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the reminder to pack lots of clothes. We stay in a room that gets little heat so one year it was freezing. The next year I think my mom was trying to be nice and cranked up the heat. It was so hot and I wished I had packed shorts. I am going to pack layers!

I dread thanksgiving. My mom insists on cooking and also says she cannot handle any type of seasoning. The food is so bland. And then she watches what you eat and guilt trips people who do not over eat. Literally a few hours after the big meal, she expects everyone to eat again. Meanwhile she barely eats, so it’s not like she does not understand that not everyone can eat large portions. Almost every person who visits has gotten sick once from eating too much out of guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

SIL, is that you? Blink twice if you’re not allowed to use the top left stove burner even though it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

I bought a space heater for my MIL’s house. We sleep downstairs and it’s colder down there than upstairs. The space heater mostly solves the problem.

If not that, then hotel.

A stealth electric blanket also works.

NP but don’t bring anything that plugs in to my mom’s house. Definitely not an electric blanket. Her electricity is scarily outdated and you have to see permission before using an outlet. We charge phones in the car while running errands. Of course it’s set to the standard 65 and she will offer you my HS sweaters should you have forgotten your indoor down vest.

[Anonymous]

I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are only allowed to eat in the kitchen. No snacks in the living room (which is where we all hang out, next to kitchen.) Once they found a bag of chips that were in the upstairs bathroom garbage and they lost their minds. One of the kids had it in their bags from a rest stop before we got there and threw it away. We heard about it for weeks after we left.

My mom still talks about my brother’s ex-girlfriend who left a snack wrapper in the upstairs trash can. Not only is eating only allowed during meals, but “everyone knows that trash cans outside the kitchen are only for tissues.”

You can’t even take a tag off new clothing and leave it in the bathroom trash without a comment. It was really fun going through puberty as a girl under those conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sleeping in a motherf@#$ing twin sized little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987 in a basement in WISCONSIN and it is so so so cold that my husband and my youngest are also huddled in here. How important is extended family really?

I would die. My ILs also keep the house at freezing temps (wasps from new England) and I'm freezing. I'm from Southern Europe, I was not made for this. And for the Canadians sleeping at 55s, warm bedding doesn't help. My face is freezing. I have to wear socks to bed.

Oh death is on the table. I have a flannel nightgown, long underwear, socks, and the covers over my head like a hoodie. It is that damp, Great Lake cold that you can’t escape. DS ate 732 deviled eggs and he’s farting like a machine gun. I doubt I will sleep at all.

To the PP who wanted to know about AirBnB, this town is in the middle of nowhere. It’s a wide place in the road with a bait shop (closed for the season) and a small grocery/gas station. We’re probably 20 miles from a stoplight. There is no AirBnB. There is no hotel. There is not even a no-tell motel. This is the second and last time we are doing this.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

My mom says stuff like this when it’s convenient. It’s Greta Thunberg cosplay. The truth is that she is too overwhelmed to figure out how to replace drafty doors and windows or add more insulation, “doesn’t believe” in efficient bulbs or newer hot water heaters, and thinks replacement windows are ugly, and believes that a cold laundry room=second fridge, so she uses an ungodly amount of natural gas to heat the house to just above 60.

It could easily be cut by 75% if she’d make the house more energy efficient.

But then she also wouldn’t have the fun of penning everyone into the one tiny warm room or keeping us docile by slowing our heart rates down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

For the holidays can you give her the gift of new spices, and then can DH secretly throw out her old ones? Then when she notices he can feign stupidity and be all "I thought of COURSE you'd want spices that were not from the 1990's! That was 20 years ago! These will taste GREAT - I figured you'd be excited to use what we got you!" Would that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

But do you expect house guests to stay in an uncomfortably cold house with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do these family members get offended if you don’t stay in their homes? Why not get an AirBnb or hotel?

Luckily my mom’s house is too small to sleep us all anyway, so we always stay elsewhere.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new in-laws made us all change out of our shoes into those little blue paper booties that workmen wear. Never was that way before; I figured MIL is newly turned super neat freak. But no. Turns out her three rescue dogs poop all over the house. Everyone ignores the brown stains that dot her beige carpets.

I'm not sure this can be topped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sleeping in a motherf@#$ing twin sized little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987 in a basement in WISCONSIN and it is so so so cold that my husband and my youngest are also huddled in here. How important is extended family really?

Hotel stat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

I don't think you should have anyone spend the night at your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, some of us like to factor in our effect on the environment and keep the temperatures low for that reason. My husband and I keep our house temperature lower to use less fossil fuel energy. Yes, we know it’s a small effect we can have overall, but we are trying to do our part, even if it is small.

My mom says stuff like this when it’s convenient. It’s Greta Thunberg cosplay. The truth is that she is too overwhelmed to figure out how to replace drafty doors and windows or add more insulation, “doesn’t believe” in efficient bulbs or newer hot water heaters, and thinks replacement windows are ugly, and believes that a cold laundry room=second fridge, so she uses an ungodly amount of natural gas to heat the house to just above 60.

It could easily be cut by 75% if she’d make the house more energy efficient.

But then she also wouldn’t have the fun of penning everyone into the one tiny warm room or keeping us docile by slowing our heart rates down.

I love that.
Another cold guest here. The house is kept cold and then the windows are open when the gas stove is in use, because they read about the dangers of gas cooking fumes.